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Why do men get so mad when they get rejected?

This is probably already a question circulating but I thought I'd ask myself.

I see this all too often, when a guy PMs a girl with some sort of compliment or come on, and girls can be as sweet as ever with their let down that they are not interested and the guy will come back with profanity and put downs, calling her ugly or fat. I don't get it. Please explain.

valerina 7 Mar 19
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87 comments (76 - 87)

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21

Cue the "not all men" and "I don't think most men do that"comments. You hear that sound? It's the sound of a thousand women rolling their eyes at being told,yet again,that a very common behavior is just the work of a few bad apples. Yes. MANY men do this. Yes most women have experienced it. Quit trying to tell us it's not a thing just because,you personally, may not have seen it.

It's so true!

nice one

Most of by friends are female and I hear about it happening all the time. Plus worse things.

1

EGO.

2

Have you ever won/lost at something? Not everyone can chalk it up as a learning experience. I have encountered a woman or two that was not happy that my attentions were somewhere else. In fact women get very catty about it.

6

It's not just men. I've seen women go over the top too. I think it has a lot to do with not owning your own emotions and blaming other people for the way you feel. (Men ARE notorious for this, sorry guys). The individual feels that the object of their affection PUT that feeling in them ,so the object is responsible for the attraction and subsequent bad feelings that come with rejection. Healthy people realize that their attraction comes from within themselves and is solely their responsibility. Someone who is aware of this doesn't lash out at the other because they know there is no "fault" in the attraction.

@Beach_slim what is dishonest about not being attracted to someone?!!

@Beach_slim what a load of horseshit.

@Stacey48 which basically boiled down to "my feelings were hurt so I'm totally justified in being a horrible ass because I'm a guy and that's just what we do".

5

I doubt if most men do that. I don't, wouldn't, and don't know of other men who would.

I'd guess these guys are frustrated and lashing out at the most convenient target.

Does this regularly happen to you? Women in general?

Oh yes. Men who were dying to get you into bed or "treat you like the princess you are" will suddenly call you fat,ugly, slutty,bitchy. "You're not that hot anyway, I just wanted to get laid" etc. Women sometimes get physically attacked,even murdered for rejecting men.
It's gross and it's really common.

I'm guessing it's very related to age.

@RavenCT IDK there's pretty strong historical evidence that this behavior has been going on for hundreds of years.

@Blindbird I think the older men get the less testosterone - the less acting out behaviors.

Some are stuck that way for life though.

I worked at a Battered Women's shelter over 30 years ago. Nothing seems to change.

@RavenCT it really doesn't. All we can do is raise our kids better. Thank you for the work you've done. ❤
You may be correct about men aging out if those behaviors. Spousal abuse was rife in my family but as my uncle's aged,you'd swear butter wouldn't melt in their mouths.

@Blindbird Thank you!

I hope I'm at least a little right. Means I have less of this to deal with. Thought "Boy toy" comes to mind? lol

@RavenCT well in the reading I've done, the general idea seems to be that most of the violence centers around mating rights and ensuring paternity probably means that you and I are not likely to trigger those behaviors even in younger men. 🙂

@Blindbird Too true! 😉

1

Some guys can’t take rejection. It hurts their fragile egos so have to make themselves feel better by putting the woman down. Just block the jackasses they aren’t worth your time. But screen shot their dumb ass so we can laugh at them. Guys like that deserve it.

2

It's not all men, but the kind of guy who randomly compliments a complete stranger or even a casual acquaintance on social media, is a sketchy bastard to start with.The fact that anything other than gratitude for his attention is met with contempt proves that the jackass isn't stable.

JimG Level 8 Mar 19, 2018
2

Possibly, projection. It's likely that the guys are the ones ugly and fat.

2

Who knows what prompts people to do what they do. I have never gotten mad at being rejected. That is everyone's perogative. I will thank them, wish them a nice day and move on.

3

That is just bad upbringing. Or maybe none.

6

They weren't raised with any modicum of respect. IMO naturally.

7

Rejection can be painful and some people lash out.

Spot on. It's true and unfortunate that guys especially have a hard time acknowledging pain.

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