Tell children the truth about everything. It is not the truth that is the problem but the delivery.

Komisar should be stripped of her license to practice.
Telling parents to lie to their children is the worst possible "advice" to give.
Especially when she uses abject bullshit to base it on.

Mehta is 100% correct when he calls her a "lazy researcher". She most definitely is.
People like her make me so angry. I don't think they should be permitted to operate
as "advisers" to anyone.

The truth, no matter how painful, is always better than a lie.
All that matters is how you explain it. Do it as gently as possible, have as
many facts to explain what needs explaining, but BE HONEST.

Lying to children about basic elements of life is always a bad idea. Children live in the world just like the rest of us, and insofar as they are capable of understanding, they deserve the truth.

Moreover, coping skills need to be developed as we grow up also. Lying to children short-circuits that skill. Grieving is healthy. Denial is not. Facilitating denial for children is a dysfunctional group dynamic.

(Can you imagine... "Gramma isn't dead. She's sleeping in this box, and when we bury her, there is a network of tubes that will take her to another state, where they will bring her back to life. She'll be happy forever." "Can I call her?" "No." "Can she come back?" "No." "What's the name of this state?" "Quit asking questions." )

Sometimes , when people don't have an easy answer , they come up with the dumbest stuff , that causes more problems than it solves .

In my own experiences as a parent, mostly as a Sole Custodial Parent btw, every time my daughter would ask a question no matter the subject I always tried to tell the truth in words, etc, that, at her age, she could easily comprehend.
I still remember clearly the day when I was requested to attend a 'little' discussion in the Principals Office at her school because she had disputed with the Teacher as to how and where babies come from.
Another child in the class had mentioned that his Mother was pregnant and he was going to have a little sister soon.
The Teacher told the class that God made the baby and put it into the mother's belly and that it was a gift from God.
My very often outspoken 10 year old daughter simply stood up and said " Rubbish, his Mummy and Daddy had sex just like the animals and birds do, she got pregnant and they are having a baby, my Daddy tells me the truth all the time and he should know, he is a nurse and they know all about things like that."
Then, according to the Teacher, my daughter went on to explain the 'nitty-gritty' of how the 'tadpoles' from the Daddy enter into the Mummy, meet up with a tiny little egg, get together and make a baby.
The Teacher was quite taken back at the idea that, in her exact words here, " a mere, silly, uneducated child could have the audacity to dispute the truth with an educated Teacher on how God makes babies and gifts them to parents."
I have no idea as what happened after my daughter and I left the office, but less than a month later that teacher has tendered her resignation, left the school and found employment at the local Catholic School.

so then when they grow up, they get to experience the crushing disappointment of realizing they don’t get to live forever.

Well, aren't religious people lying to their kids too?

I am often asked this and similar questions. My response is an honest. There is no evidence to support (insert faith based assertion, life after death, there is a god, etc.). I'm not saying there is no (life after death, god, etc.) but there exists no testable evidence to support those ideas.

My opinion of the WSJ has been in steep decline in the last few years and this nonsense is just worthless! When is lying ever good for children? The adults in my life regularly lied to me about all sorts of things and I've never really forgiven them. Tell children the truth...in terms they can understand. You'll all be better for it.

Mehta's right: this woman is obviously a lazy researcher. It sounds like she has personal believer bias.

I have practical experience from when my husband died when our daughter was three. Yes, she grieved for him, but it wasn't the truth of him being dead that scared and confused her, it was all the "well-meaning" religious who would tell her things like, "Your Daddy's watching you from heaven," or "Some day you'll see him again" or some other nonsense. After a while, she would reply in her little toddler voice, "My Daddy's dead. Dead is dead." Not mean, not sarcastic, but as though she was explaining something to them that they didn't know.

When my boy was very young he asked me about death and I told him the truth. He got very upset by my answer so I lied and said the heaven thing to calm him down. He is now 6 and asked me again and I told him the truth but said that nobody really knows. He was very cool with it and didn't get upset at all. When I told him the many ideas out there, he seemed to enjoy the mystery.

I've always told mine that we go back to the universe. Since we are atheists they are fine with it. But I've always been very open with my kids and gkids about everything from birth control to drug use to death. And taught them to question everything.

Again, not so simple. My late partner was encouraged to ask questions and from early on thought religion was silly. When she had kids and moved to this country they adopted the holidays to help the family be a part of the culture. Later 2 of the kids became S. Baptists and she wondered where did she go wrong. Then it occurred to her one has to often teach and encourage kids to ask and question. Most people have no idea of how important this is and just go along. Kids who are atheist in this country (some parts) may have a difficult time fitting in.

Besides, how does one explain to kids when people and animals close to them die?

Nonbelievers have the same right to discuss issues of life and death with their children consistent with their personal beliefs as believers do with their children. In then end, the children of both parents will make up their own minds when they become adults. Certain believers can be so arrogant to suggest imposing their beliefs onto the children of others is something they have a right to do. They don't.

Hell, while we're at it, let's lie about Santa and the Easter Bunny too.

Why lie, and why make is so bleak as turning to dust then nothing? Celebrate the truth. When not locked a cemet shoe box for all eternity, bodies decompose. Their decomposition returns nutrients to the soil. Which in turn supports plant lie, which in turn supports all other living things. It's beautiful cycle of giving back and replenishment. Much more important and uplifting than a fictional playground.

It's really stupid to lie, there's no conundrum between death and belief in all bullshit religions, I think we are all sufficiently smart to talk to a child about death if they ask. It is after all a natural physiological step, everybody is born, and everybody will die, no need to scare the bejesus out of kids trying to sugarcoat the fact that it is as natural as being born with moronic idiocy of "eternal life" which is a load of crap and or bullshit in itself.

[poets.org]

There is a "possibility," although nobody knows for sure, that human beings have a spirit, which is a form of energy, that "might" live on after the human body dies. Atheists do not believe that. Agnostics admit they don't know. And religious believers insist it's true. Which do you want to be? As for myself, child, the way I believe is ...[fill in the blanks].

Because we atheists are all about lies......

Better an uncomfortable truth than a comfortable lie.

Teach children HOW to learn...not WHAT to learn!
They want to know truth. If they understand that this is the only life they have then they will treat that life with respect.

Technically, even the Bible teaches that death is "non-existence" (the living know that they shall die, but the dead know not anything" ), etc., with even the apostle Paul claiming death is a "sleep" i.e unconsciousness