Can't think of a single thing.

Not my parents, but my great grandmother: "Hash hopper!" when anyone sneezed. To this day, I have absolutely no idea what that meant (maybe it was just great onomatopoeia). I just remember that it cracked everyone up when she said it.

My mom would always say, "If you can't dazzle them with brilliance, babble them will bullshit"
My dad would say, "I'm so happy I could shit"

Funny how this was during their working years and now that they have been retired for a number of years, they don't harbor such feelings.

When a number of bad things would happen at the same time, my father (who was not religious) would say, "The devil shits in one pile."

Bologna Sausage !! (bullshit!)
Them Birds ! (Lawyers, for the most part, but generally people in power)

Mother:- "wish in one hand and pee in the other and see which one gets full first"
Father:- " there are more horses asses than there are horses"

"He's a bloody dinosaur. Big mouth, tiny brain, and half of that's in his bum."
In traffic: "The one on the right, mate. That's the 'go' pedal."

My grandmother always used to say, to something outlandish. "Shocking Mrs Bocking." Never knew where that came from, have to google it.

I always used to be amused when people say, to something questionable. "I am not over duly concerned." I always wondered, who Julie was, and why she had to be consulted on everything.

Not sure how funny it was, but the old man would always greet people with "'Morning" no matter what time of day it was... because, "It's morning somewhere." A habit I've taken up myself. (Probably unfortunately, but I remember him this way best.)

And if you recall the series In The Heat of the Night, with the introduction featuring a police car sitting at the railroad crossing as the train goes through... every week Dad would quip, "One of these weeks he'll beat that train to the track."

Dad hit in the snotlocker

Whenever my dad became frustrated he would say, "horse feathers! " and I'd say, "horses don't have feathers, birds have feathers ." then we'd both laugh...

My mother didn't have any particular pithy sayings that I can recall, but she loved weird names. She would go to any restaurant that was creatively named regardless of what it served, for example. There was a so-so chain in her neck of the woods called Jose Babushkas and she thought it was hilarious and had to go there. Whenever I see a restaurant with a creative name, I think of her and wish I could tell her about it.

I am certain my father married her for her fun loving spirit. It kept his head out of his ass. Mostly.

As to fake-swearing, I had a Christian Reformed neighbor who was fantastic at it. He would say "that pot licker" instead of "that son of a bitch". He had a whole lexicon of stuff I wish I could remember, such that he could swear a blue streak without technically swearing. But you always knew exactly what he meant.

"Anyone that doesn't like fried chicken and Apple pie is either crazy or a dammed liar." Paternal Grandfather

My deceased husband's response to anyone that publicly identified themselves as a Republican." Hmm, you look normal." Whoops,my bad, I didn't call him daddy but he was someone's parent just not mine.