Say you've been chatting with a woman for a bit, you have good conversations, similar world views, find her moderately attractive, etc. You decide to meet and go on a date. You end up sleeping together. Would you consider dating her with the possibility of it turning into a relationship?
That she'd had sex with me on the first date wouldn't even come into it....
After all, I'd had sex with her on the first date.
Now, if she'd had sex with someone else on our first date, that would influence my decision
For her to have had sex with me on the first date I had to have had sex with her. How can I judge her for doing the same thing I did? I would not have had sex with her if I was not interested in her. I don't date to get sex, I date to find a woman to share my life with.
I have had sex on the first date and dated for a time after, and I have dated women who did not want to go that route. Hell, I have even dated a woman with whom I had sex before any dates occurred.
It's all a matter of everyone being comfortable with it. Whatever works for all parties.
If I like her enough to go that far that fast, I'm not throwing it away.
I look at sex kinda like buying shoes....I will never invest in a purchase of shoes without trying them on first. Sex is important, if it's not good between you that could be a deal breaker. I've moved slow in relationships and others when chemistry was great, I didn't want to wait! Some of my best and deepest fulfilling relationships were when 'I tried the shoes on to see if they were a comfortable fit'. ?
Yes. I married her. Now on 7 years and 5 kids. Best I've ever had.
I married one, does that count?
Where ARE these women? lol
@Geoff most likely. Or killin deer, campin, etc. I’m actually fine if a guy is into that so long as they’re not obsessing and don’t expect me to partake. I’ll fish if it’s 85 or warmer. But I always bring a book in case they aren’t biting.
Theoretically I would, and I have. I would watch her closely to make sure her impaired judgment doesn't affect her in other areas though.
You know, you would be having sex on the first date too. What would that say about your judgment?
@Lysistrata I believe Jim is being an icon of modesty here, and implying that anyone who'd have sex with him, on any date, maybe, must have a couple screws loose somewhere.
Only if it's with me.
Well, of course. Why wouldn’t you want to date a woman that would have sex on the first date? ?
I don't see why not. I don't even care if she tells me about past partners unless she wants to. If I'm with someone, I'm with her now, not her past. The only thing I would want would be honesty about any potential STD's, because that could directly harm me. The rest of it, not a big deal.
I'd date a woman who died on the first date.
I'm so confused. Did we just go back in time?
I’m not sure if this is just a regional thing but after never hearing from a couple guys after I thought we had a good time a clicked, I sought out advice from several guy friends. They all said if you give away the goods right away.....then they do not consider you someone to date.
So much for guys not wanting to play games.
@Marcie1974 Well, I will tell you my experience - Most guys do NOT know what they want. And, yes, that can be regional. I lived in the deep south for quite awhile and that archaic way of thinking is still prevalent. It's so stupid. I would be real quick to tell them that they aren't worthy since they slept with you so quickly. Nothing but trash. LOL!
Anyway, in all honesty, I have found most non-agnostic/atheist men don't know what they really want when it comes to so-called morals - and they play some serious games. I have not had this problem with men without a religious foundation.
@Fanburger There are, believe it or not, a lot of women, me being one, who before they're dead below the waist, don't want to get too many "feelings going" if it's not going to "click" between the sheets.
I think there is some "broke dick mountain" mentality with expecting the rules to be different than it is for men. And just because there was an "early intro" doesn't mean there will be ANOTHER.
Some men seem to think that once you decided to take your panties off ONCE that they can stop trying. That's a good way to be shown the EXIT sign.
I also find it fascinating that some with practicing "open" relationships are so judgemental about this. smh /looking at you Jacar.
@Fanburger So allowing oneself to be genuinely attracted and acting on it, because tomorrow is promised to no one, is being an "asshole like men are"???
How much time are we going to devote to "the chase"? That's asshole stuff too, just another flavor.
Prey drive, it's a thing. Men say they don't want the "game" but they do. So be it. But if I play this "game" and it gets "blown" it's over, and especially so if just a conquest.
I don't have many super powers but ICING the bleep out of a game players & idiots is one of them.
@Fanburger LOL so the fact I slept with my future husband the day we met makes me a "cum bucket"? ?
My non quality man was an autodidactic who could and did go anywhere & made 6 figures. He also happened to be gorgeous inside and out. I did hit the man lottery for sure.
Yes he was of no quality. LMAO
This "cum bucket" made sure he wanted for nothing ever, and more so when he became ill. I've seen princess types do less for their men. So whatever dude.
Hey everyone. I'm a cum bucket! LMAO
@Qualia I can't respond to Fanburger directly because he blocked me back in December of last year on his 1st membership here however I wanted to comment on his judgemental attitude. Real freethinkers like me don't give a shit what others think. Thank my lucky stars for meeting Dan here.
@sassygirl3869 I've not blocked him yet because well.... I think our exchanges are worthwhile so far. Maybe someone, somewhere will see something they needed to hear.
There are a lot of men who think like him and it's sad. I'm sick to death of being "splained" with archaic thinking. Women have needs too and insisting on an extended chase, only to "catch" and then stop the courting is toxic.
Just because someone sleeps with you doesn't mean the "chase" is over. But for some men, that's what they believe. Look at all the married men on here looking for extra. They've stopped "chasing" their women, and their women have clamped down below the waist, so they think they're going to apply their stupid formula somewhere else and have it work. SMH
I think he's wounded and doesn't know how to escape the rubber room.
Turned out ok for me. Ahem
What an awful question! Would the guy who partook in this (assuming it’s a hetero date) also be expected to be turned down for dating as a ‘slut’ who put out too easily? This whole question just stinks of an archaic double standard.
Exactly, my thoughts unless she's having sex with someone else on our first date (or any date). In that case I would probably decline any subsequent dates.
I married a woman that I had sex with on the first date, we were together for 22 years.
@Woodron Finally found the thread you were referring to.
i was being silly, in context with the thread.
You stated you were together 22 years. And now not.
So, i was joking about how it took 22 years to think maybe it was not a good idea.
But, i was not, in any way, inferring that there was any thing wrong with what happened with you and her.
When I was younger (I am 62 now), it didn't seem to bother me having sex right away with someone. As I look back on my relationships, I now think, for me, waiting for about 3-6 months before having sex is best. Having sex can send my emotions to an unnaturally higher place and I tend to ignore things that bother me with my partner. If I waited 3-6 months, I might not be interested in him anymore and it would be easier to break it off. Since I haven't had sex in 12 years, I may just throw all that out the window!!
Yes. I have had many relationships start where there was sex on the first date.