Say you've been chatting with a woman for a bit, you have good conversations, similar world views, find her moderately attractive, etc. You decide to meet and go on a date. You end up sleeping together. Would you consider dating her with the possibility of it turning into a relationship?
Yes. As long as its consensual and no-one gets hurt, then why not. One of my mantras is don't die wondering - this theoretical fits that mantra perfectly.
Doesn't that just mean you had a really good first date? I used to get sex on the first date about 1/2 the time. It always meant I wanted another date ?. Sometimes they developed into relationships, sometimes not. I just took it as a very successful date.
Was married to a one-night-stand (one of the few I've ever had) for 16 years.
Yes, but not for the reason stated. We must have hit it off for some reason. If she's up for a second date, I consider this a plus. If she's not, well that's my problem. But I'm assuming that besides the physical aspects, there's more to this relationship. The fact that you've crossed the physical hurdle has no bearing on the other facets of the relationship.
I was married to a woman for almost 40 years, we had sex on the first date. I rest my case. Damn it was good!
I always took my cue from the woman, as I did not want them to feel pressured. Now, married, 75, it's all academic.
I guess my question is for anyone who themselves engaged in sex on the first date — it takes two to tango, after all — who doesn't want to continue dating that person, what their objection is. I mean, I get it if someone themselves doesn't have sex on the first date and is put off by someone who is willing (e.g., fear of disease or don't think a long-term relationship can work out), but when they've both had sex together on the first date, why does that disqualify the other person from consideration for a relationship? Why does that standard not apply to oneself as well, so they see themselves as likewise ill-suited for a relationship? I'm notoriously slow to move into sexual territory but, if I were inclined to have sex on the first date and we seemed to really hit it off otherwise as well, I'd have no qualms about dating more seriously. And even though I do take things more slowly, I don't judge women who are less hesitant as somehow unworthy of my affection or attention. There are too few people I really connect with deeply, and I don't feel like I have the luxury of casting a woman aside for something as trivial (to me) as being highly sexual.
In the situation you describe, absolutely. The 'getting to know you' element of the first date is long-since passed, and if I know me (and the type of women I prefer to interact with romantically/sexually) there's probably been some not-so-innocent flirting at the bare minimum. If the chemistry holds up for in-person interaction and the date goes well, then hell yes. And if I've already invested the time and energy getting to know this person enough to want to meet them, and that went well, there's every reason to pursue the acquaintance and no real reason not to.
For a person I'm interacting with for the first time: I wouldn't have slept with them on the first date anyway, I don't enjoy sex with strangers. I prefer to start with personality compatibility and compatibility of tastes, which is a weird set of conversations to have with a complete stranger. I'm kind of kinky and that's also a whole set of conversations that are weird to have with a complete stranger the day I meet them.
You must be young because when you get into your senior years the answer is who gives a shit.
Hell at this age I prefer to get to know each other but if sex is present, I am in, Why would I think of her as a slut rather than a lonely guy out to get laid.
I’m 44 so I guess that qualifies me as middle aged? I was married for 20+ years so I’m learning all over again. After reading comments I think it might be a bit of a regional thing as well, I live in Minnesota
Depends how good the sex was
Good point. I’ve had some real duds
It really depends on the circumstances in which we met. Sudden impulses of lust do happen. Then if they can lead to something serious, why not. It’s never happened to me though (as in no woman has ever slept with me on a first date-or I with a woman. I would never expect that anyway)