In college it was "would you like to go get high?....."

I miss my ex-husband a lot. But my aim's improving.

"These are my real teeth" is a hit when I troll the retirement home.

"Can I ask you a question?

"Have you ever woken up in the morning, rolled over, looked at the man lying in bed beside you, and thought, 'Oh HELL! What the HECK did I do THAT for?'

"No? Fancy a new experience?"

I asked a young lady "Can you tell me the time, please?" She said, "Nine-thirty." I said, "Thank you. Beautiful women usually don't give me the time of day." She smiled. We chatted a little and she gave me her number. We ended up dating a little.

From an Irishman on St. Patrick's Day: "Do you have any Irish in you? Would you like a little?"

Gee, I seem to have misplaced my number...
May I have yours?

"Girl you must be a siren because I'm compelled to let you drag me down and devour me"

How much does a Polar Bear weigh?

Enough to break the ice!

Never used it, but it cracks me up.

You look interesting and I'd like to chat for awhile and get to know you.

Works on me every time.

"Hi my name is Doctor -insert name here-." Works every time

I don't think there are any good pick up lines. Just lame ones.

It is capitalism that chains you down

Hey baby, you into god?

Football sucks

Hi

How about that income inequality?

I’m just making these up as I go. It’s probably obvious at this point that I’m not a lady’s man lmao

I met an ex through a personals ad from a newspaper. His first words on the phone got me: "I work hard and I play hard." Lasted 10 years.

Not one I have heard or used, but certainly one I have giggled about:

"I know what I want to say to you. It's on the tip of my tongue. Maybe if you let me stick in your ear you'll be able to hear it."

That stripper pole really brings out the color in your eyes.

Give me your number and we can talk about blank tape later... how I picked up my ex wife when I worked in a record store.

"'Ello darlin' - got any whelks?"

Certainly original, but nevertheless unsuccessful.

Betcha I can do things with you she won't!

Sitting in a crouded restaurant (no seats available) a beautiful girl walked by. I said to her that "you can sit here", let me make room. As I wiped my face with my hands.

Or if you want to go patriotic: "On a scale of one to America, how free are you tonight?"

"Hi my name is Simon what's yours " as long as I smile it works every time ....

Mine of course, " You look like a girl that doesn't like one liners." Actually I never relied on that bullcrap. I simply showed interest in the person I was talking to...primitive but honest and effective.

How do you like your eggs?