Leslie, I respect your opinion and can understand why you feel that way. Alot of bad happens everyday under the watchful eye of an "all loving" god, doesn't it? I'm here if you want to talk. No judgement. You are welcome to send me a private message anytime as well.

I strongly advocate that you join our group: "Mental Health Support "

There are folks there that might be able to help you. We have other people who are home bound etc.. They might be aware of things that have helped them - that might also help you.

That's one of the things I love about the internet - you can almost always find someone who has been where you are - who might have one bit of advice for you to follow that might get you started down a path that helps you along.

Also in focusing in on discussions with other people - it reveals to ourselves what is most important to change.

Because "God" (if it exists) expects you to deal with your own problems. It's God, not your celestial babysitter. It gave you a brain and freewill, use it. Quit waiting for It to handle your problems. Your human parents expect you to act like an adult and deal with your problems like an adult, why wouldn't "God".

I know that probably sounds harsh and argumentative, and I apologize. But one of my pet peeves about religion is the belief that God is supposed to act like your daddy and take care of you.

Maybe that is the point. You deal with your issues, you figure out how to build and maintain basic ethics. Maybe the real test is if you can stay an ethical person who doesn't harm anyone, avoids aggressive or selfish behavior, and can avoid being a jerk, You can join It in some semblance of an afterlife. Assholes don't get to heaven. Maybe, "God" wants intelligent, independent, ethical companions, not dependents.

That is, of course, if there even if there is such a being. So, that is all hypothetical. And, it is what I would want if I were a god.

First and foremost you must stop believing In god and work from there .This belief is preventing you from reaching the next step in your mental health Issues.

Don't forget the most important person in your life "yourself". You and only you decided how do you need you and how much love yourself. Don't hate yourself. Find positive ways to cheer up yourself.

I mean if it hates you in your mind then you must still believe in it