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What's a nice and natural way of opening a conversation?

I was asking earlier about whether a guy should or shouldn't make the first move. The answers were of common sense. But I'm still curious. Now, when you think about dating or simply engage the conversation with someone, what do you think is the best way to do just that. What are the most natural ways to open the conversation, make a first contact? Can you give examples of what you like to say? What you think the other will feel or think? How many times do you get an answer? Rejected? Etc. Feel free to elaborate

Ampho 4 Apr 7

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I found you interesting mostly because you are french. I love french philosophers, and would like to discuss if you're into it.


I would say, " hello, nice to meet you. I am new to town, would you like to come out with me some night. [ that worked like a dream 64 yhears ago ]


I don’t play that game well. I’ll go years before meeting someone.


Online, Ideally, mention something specific about their profile that you share or find interesting or can ask a question about. Questions are great and keep a conversation going.
NEVER use any kind of pet name or address a woman you don’t know by anything other than her name, e.g Honey, Sweetie, “Hey, Pretty eyes” or “gorgeous.” Yuck. Good advice I saw recently about complimenting women - compliment something they have control over - a skill/talent, a clothing item, etc NOT their eyes/figure.


I use to start out with a complement. Nothing creepy or perverse. Say they have a nice smile or pretty eyes.


Have you read?


You can say hi to someone in Messenger here.. I get them all the time.

But I NEVER respond to a guy who just writes “Hi.” I assume he is sending that to every woman he would sleep with, because it is the barest minimum effort.

I never get just a "hi".


I attended a large and well attended local event today. People galore! Maybe it’s a habit from a long-term marriage, of looking ‘beyond attraction,’ and simply stating what interests or is simply obvious to me, but that usually resonates with others.. And if they’re an attractive age-appropriate single female, nice.

So I get home ..and find I’d missed a call from my 25 year old daughter. After talking car batteries & jumper cables … single, she described how many male friendships she’s not allowed to happen because they always lead to ..more than she wants. So she ‘finds herself avoiding contact with guys because it always leads there.’ Shit, I’ll never be a grandpaw with that attitude 😉 Very good looking.. I’ve watched that ‘happen to her’ for years…

She is attracted to those she’d also consider a friend; guys who’s first thought isn’t one thing. I get that, but also envision how confuckingfusing it would be to a guy, who's taught from day one that it’s ‘his responsibility to pickup’ women. So my advice is to be yourself, say what comes to mind, and let them start doing some of that heavy lifting. I tell ya, at your age, it may feel like you’re missing out at lightspeed, but you’ve a long way to go slow down, relax, become the person they’d like be around, and (honestly) go from there ~

Varn Level 8 Apr 7, 2018

Mutual interest. Sports team, animal, food, art, etc. That way the conversation will start with what you have in common, and it’ll allow input from both parties.

Marz Level 7 Apr 7, 2018

You need to have something in which to speak about,which is difficult if you know nothing about the person. I am not going to speak for all women, but I do know that the "one liners" have never worked on me. I am a social worker and what we have been trained to do is to find something about our clients that will help with engaging with them. It is difficult to engage when you don't know anything about the other person, so we generally find something in which we can give a genuine compliment. This generally works, and the person is more willing to open up. I don't know if it works in the dating scene as I have been out of it for more than two decades, and I had such severe social anxiety (and still do) that I never actually initiated a conversation with someone in which I had interest.


If it's someone you don't know yet, just say hi and make some small talk about a safe subject. Baby steps. If it's someone you already know, simply ask them if they would join you for a drink or out for tea and dessert.


Lol! 'Is this seat taken?' was enough to open the flood gates last week. Local dive bar with great burgers! Granted I am a woman and I was speaking to another woman so I don't know if that is fair but it was funny in a way.

Yeah,there have been a few times when I've regretted initiating a conversation.

@sloryd life is funny that way 🙂


Well, some form of "hello" is a good start. If they are a stranger, (and I do hope you took time to see if they are wearing a wedding band before approaching) tell them you found them attractive, striking,etc and felt compelled to come over and introduce yourself.

If they are someone you've met before, tell them you find them attractive, striking, etc & would like to get to know them better. Be sure to have topics of conversation/questions in mind. Nothing is worse, in my opinion, than being approached by someone & then they can't carry a conversation in a tin bucket & I have gotten beyond the point, in this life, of being polite & trying to carry the conversation for both of us. (This is the reason I like to set up initial meetings in book shops with coffee. If they don't like books/aren't "a reader" we are not going to get along. If they are, topics of convo will leap off the shelf.)

Recently attempted that with a woman I would bump into occasionally.Told her I found her attractive and would she like to get together for coffee and conversation.First words out of her mouth were are you a christian.Well that saved me some time !

@sloryd I'm surprised she didn't take you up on the offer & try to "save your soul". You know how some women like to take on men as a "fixer up" project. She'd be telling her friends "he'll be perfect once he accepts jesus". ?????

@sloryd 😀



Would you ever consider bumping uglies with me?


You mean cold call like stranger? Right?

I weed out right wingers and racists.


Warden! I want to confess!


First, have something to talk about.

^^This!! I don't say anything to anyone unless I have a reason.

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