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What is the first thing you are attracted to in a man or woman?

The feature I notice is a woman with pretty eyes.

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ebdb 7 Apr 8
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48 comments

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7

I'm a bit of a sapiosexual, attracted to highly intelligent men with a great sense of humor.

I'm a bit more than a bit of a sapiosexual. 🙂

@literathiker and @poetdi56, I'm curious, if you are just walking down a street, into a room, and have not heard him speak or converse, what clues do y'all have regarding his intelligence and humor?

@BlueWave Eyes, most likely. Is there a spark of humor there?

I am attracted to athletic, intelligent men with a great sense of humor who treat me with respect and kindness.

Fitness and health, a genuine smile, positive outlook, conversational skills, a fun personality and love of hiking also wow me.

BlueWave, Well-educated men are generally better dressed and more fit, and have better grooming than uneducated yahoos. That's one clue. I see intelligence and humor in people's eyes.

Poetd56, I qualified my statement by saying "I'm a bit of a sapiosexual." I would pass on an obese man, no matter how intelligent and funny.

5

Sense of humor!

5

Refuse to vote on physical attributes. When I broke up with my last longtime partner, I asked him to name 3 things he liked about me. All 3 were physcial attributes. He didn't need me, he needs a blow up doll. Give me an honest, honorable guy who can have an intelligent conversation. Then he can reveal to me his unique various unexpected character traits that sweep me off my feet, like being kind and generous to others, showing grace, respect and admiration to those who deserve it, etc. A person who does a good deed or shows a courtesy to a stranger will catch my attention.

5

A real genuine smile will get me every time.
As for most important... Personality, and it would have to include honesty.

4

They're personality.

I second that!

@bleurowz Cool.

4

A sense of humor with a good dose of sarcasm.

4

for me it's teeth... i have a friend who seems to go for any woman... his current g/f has no teeth to speak of and the ones she has are black. there's no possible way i would date a lady with black/missing/extremely discolored teeth. i don't have the perfect teeth but at least i have most of them and they are whitish.

I'm with you on teeth.

4

The intelligence I can read on a person's expressions.....specially his/her facial expressions.

4

Eyes. If a woman can smile with her eyes she'll melt my heart, I'm a sucker for smiling eyes.

3

Smell is a big component of attraction. "When we meet, we ought to walk around each other, sniffing like dogs," I joked to new men over the phone. I was talking about pheromones. Alas, men rarely got the joke, so I dropped it.

"I'm sorry, Bruce, but it's just not happening," I said when Bruce wanted to have sex with me. I love the guy! A master-degreed counselor, a former Baptist minister who is now an atheist, Bruce is hilarious, warm, highly intelligent and wise. We had fun singing together. But he doesn't smell good to me.

Raised in Lousiana, Bruce has two deep fryers in his kitchen. (I stopped eating deep fried foods 40 years ago.) And he tends to be overweight. Don't know if it's his diet or body chemistry. It doesn't matter how many showers he takes. I could never tell Bruce that his smell is off-putting to me. It would be hurtful.

I agree smell is important and pheromones are there whether we like it or not.

3

Actually, eyes are the second thing I notice. What attracts me the most is there personality.

3

Hahhhhahhahaha that seems to be a theme for you

3

A lot of times I'm not attracted to someone until I talk to them. If they are witty and funny then they catch my attention.

3

Their brains. Pretty won't cut it if they're dumb, but a woman who can engage my mind looks pretty to me.
Hard to find out on the first meeting, which may be why I make relationships over dinner with friends rather than in bars.
Being less than beautiful myself may be a confounding variable.

3

That would depend on which way they're facing. 🙂 All of the above, each in its own context and time, though I voted in favor of a nice, curvaceous posterior.

Intelligence is the hands-down winner, though. Nothing beats a great mind.

3

There is a tech at work, way too young for me, happily married with adorable kids. But every time he talks I melt. Something about the timber of his voice - he could read the phone book to me and I would melt.

@poetdi56 I work with somebody similar. LOVE his voice.

3

The physical is all we have to go on initially and the smile IMO is the most telling. Now once he opens his mouth and talks that's another thing. He should be kind/caring, smart, witty is a plus, upbeat (no grumps), playful is a plus, and then chemistry. The physical is last because a plain man can become completely knockdown gorgeous if he has a personality to my liking.

Umm. quite a laundry list there... 🙂

@Palindromeman, I think it's a reasonable list, don't you? Nothing particularly extraordinary is required like he doesn't have to be a concert pianist (although I wouldn't object) or a champion jigsaw puzzlist. Lol 🙂

@BeeHappy I agree once the conversation begins then the game is afoot, as Sherlock would say. Smart and witty is essential. I don't mind grumps if it's pulled off with a suitably black sense of humour. So, yes, personality goes a long way - this time to quote Jules from Pulp Fiction 🙂

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3

None of the above., after of course 'chemistry' which isn't visible.

I'm attracted first to the 'music' she makes with her body and face while moving, gazing back and speaking; her body language. Intellect and character are vitally important. Unless she's emaciated, morbidly obese or unclean and ungroomed, the rest doesn't matter that much for cultivation of friendship.

For intimacy, deep respect, admiration, trust and love. The greater part of beauty cannot be seen by the eyes alone.

3

The eyes get me first. Then the smile.

2
2

None of the above. For me it is how they are dressed.

2

Hair. I don't give a second look to blonds. Plus, I spend a lot of money on maintenance and don't want any judgmental remarks.

ya, me don't do dem' blondes either

2

I am most attracted to an intelligent assertive woman.

2

The person who is kind emanates that value. I am attracted to intelligence, composure, and spirit.

Exactly.

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