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LINK This Is How Many Hours It Takes to Make a Friend

Found this to be interesting.

evestrat 8 Apr 9

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15 comments

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0

Dogs are gifted with the ability to decide on friendship right away after sniffing each others' butts or people's crotches. For people it seems the process is divorced from such pure instincts and that might well serve as one explanation for our exploded neocortex.

Use?

0

Interesting.
Because I'm partially transmale, I'm wired to do the "male bonding" thing where people work near each other, say on a mutual project, discuss politics or sports, joke around, or do some sport together, or eat near each other. Less talking is more.

But because of my 40% female traits, I can also sort of fake the female bonding thing, although it quickly tires me. I'm not really all that interested in everyone's new babies, cousins, weddings, funerals, and other such gossip that seems to fascinate all cis hetero females from childhood. I also hate decorating, social events that involve ceremonies, having to make preparations, shopping, changing clothes, etc.

Unique, ethnic, and interesting outfits do interest me, since I design and make my own clothes.

0

Wow , I guess I am weird. I typically know if I wanna be friends in the first 15 minutes. 2 or 3 hours of conversation I am sure if I want them as a friend or not.

1

This is an area where I've decided I don't know nearly as much as I thought I did, and probably never did.

At present, my dog is my mentor. He seems so able to make friends every where. I'm watching him closely for clues.

I'm hoping it doesn't have anything to do with the ability to scratch my tail bone with my teeth.

@evestrat I found havig a Great Dane was great bait for initial contact. My corgis probably would be too but I don't walk them Like I did my dane. She was also mistaken for a deer and a tiger by people all the time

1

I may have 5 friends. Every one else are aquaintises. They may act friendly but it's just for show. Note: I may have 2 close friends that have my back. My wife and my brother in law. You will be surprised whose your friend. The the world is full of you help me and I'll help you. When you loose connection or status you will notice how your friends start to fade away. If knowing you drags them down a little, you will notice how they seem to keep their distance. It's said that no man is an island. If your the man, you can be whatever you want.

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Not just time but effort. In my book this is imperative before anyone can even think of having a close, intimate and truly meaningful relationship with another.

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Sometimes it only takes minutes..or days.

@Akfishlady or never if they're complete assholes..lol

2

In high school i had one friend, Brigitte. I did , however, have tons of admirers. They would come by my house, walk up and down the street, befriend my brother, wait at the bus stop for me find out wehen I had msic lessons.
I was mystified why these guys would pursue me. I was not very sophisticated nor belonged to any clique, nor was my family anybody in the village. But I was curious about these guys. One day, my brother said: " they all want you because you pay attention to them."
That seemed like such an odd reason. Yes, I paid attention to each and everyone of them, but not in a very feminine way. I loved to challenge them in their curious boy beliefs. I learned a lot about the male world that way. I saw that my brother employd the same method: he paid absolute and exclusive attention to any woman he was interersted in. They all melted away. I am not comfortable in close communities, so I turned off my " charm" and interacted mainly with women. Now I have one good friend, far away from me, and some warm and kind neighbors. Sometines I forget and let my real nature shine through. Then the men start acting weird and the women start feeling uncomfortable. I really do not need friends.

4

I haven't read the article but this is a definiton I heard of what a friend is:

'A friend will help you move, a good friend will help you move a body'

I'm fortunate enough to have a couple of friends who fit the criteria, I haven't had to use their services in this regard thus far though 🙂

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interesting ideas. i am sure most can see a comparrason

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Being an introvert, it really doesn't apply to me. Maybe 1 good friend.

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Interesting. Before I got sick I was a member of a singles professional activity/social group. Made a cluster of friends. Some relocated, others left the group and of all of them I just spent time with one male friend who considers me his big sister. Friendship is convenience sometime.

I would say you right about friendship is convenience, I'm friends or maybe friendly with a lot ,but only really have a few true friends.

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I only have a couple of true friends the ones that if need an organ I would donate to. I do have other friends, they are not fairweather they, however, do not have total trust. I have not as yet ever met a woman that I would include in the inner circle. The ones that I trust we have been friends so long that I could not tell you how long it took to be true friends.

3

Sounds right, except that I think to be a good friend, it has to able to withstand a test of that friendship, where it either stands or falls.

cava Level 7 Apr 9, 2018
4

I read this study the other day. I think it will be interesting to redo the research in about 20 years when the full scope of digital communication becomes apparent. I have plenty of friends I spend physical time with, but the majority of people I interact with on a daily basis, I've not yet met. And these include some of my closest friends.

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