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Coming out of the Religious Closet

How do most of you feel when asked about your religion? I usually try to stay neutral as possible as it is a very hot topic..especially living in the bible belt. I do feel a lot of us "stay in the closet" when it comes to this topic for fear of other's judgment. Personally, I judge you as a person...not what your beliefs are based on, but I don't find that to be the case with most people...again...I do live in the bible belt.

MelAbby10 4 Apr 11
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13 comments

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0

Changing the subject usually works. Walking off always works.

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I also live in the Bible belt. I'm totally comfortable with my beliefs and fairly transparent about sharing them. Most of the time I share them with some explanation to help those who don't know much about it to have a better understanding. Some are intrigued but most have judgments even if only in their eyes and body language. It's okay. I used to be a little like them so I get it. Sometimes what we don't understand makes us uncomfortable. Many of them are steeped in religious dogma and haven't found there way free just yet. To answer your question more directly, I used to feel ostracized, sometimes still do, but most often I feel it an opportunity to share and educate. I try to always think, share, appreciate and forgive. Great question!

Great answer....you seem very non judgmental....as am I. The world is comprised of many different people with many different view points.....it would be an awfully boring place if we all thought exactly the same. I realize that for some people...religion is necessary...and if it works for them....I say go for it....just don't judge me on my beliefs and what works for me. Thanks for you answer....🙂

Yes absolutely! It would a very uninteresting experience if we all felt the same or never changed. I think of it as a fluid process so I'm able to forgive those, most of the time, even if they are a bit judgmental. No fun to be judged though so I try not to judge others. Thanks for the reply. 🙂

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I don't mind being asked and am still discovering the best talk paths for the various types of people with their various types of beliefs. I was involved in ministry for 10 years as a worship pastor/leader and was an evangelist since 18 years old. I live in the only spot in the country that rivals the bible belt for evangelical protestantism and understand how difficult it is to leave a life of deep faith in a being that cannot possibly make itself known.

Wow that must be tough....what made you leave all those belief's behind? I am a fan of Sam Harris as well...he makes a lot of sense.

@MelAbby10 I had ditched many of the dogmatic views of the Bible through the years such as hell and realized that stories such as Noah's ark were just stories and not actually true. I was always confounded by the Calvinist evangelicals who held to the Earth being literally 6-10 thousand years old even though science clearly refutes that ill-conceived belief. What held me was the deep feeling that Jesus was always there for me through a very rough childhood and painful divorce. When I began to realize that it was not a god healing me but my own decisions to "push though the pain", forgive my oppressors as well as myself, and to seek guidance from wise therapists I began to research how the bible was assembled, how Christianity evolved from Judaism, and where Judaism came from.

@SamHarrisFan It takes a lot to come to those conclusions....it is hard to let go of beliefs that you have been taught at a very young age. With a good amount of intelligence and common sense...you pushed through that...not any easy thing to do by any means. Good luck on your quest through life....🙂

0

Sometimes, when I am confronted with such a presumptuous question, my blood pressure soars. I do not believe in ghosts, nor do I have any imaginary friends. On occasion, when confronted with such smug questions, I just turn on my heel and leave.

I think everyone should be acknowledged and carries value....no matter their beliefs. Just like many of us are subjected to the culture we grew up in...I believe religion lies under that same issue....if your family taught you certain things from day one...it's hard to turn away from that...clearly many people have and maybe that does come with a certain degree of higher intelligence to do such and think outside of that narrative....but if confronted I would give the best answer I could without insulting anyone's belief or intelligence.

@MelAbby10 ...on the rare occasions I simple turn heel, such is because of the superior, condescending attitude of the person asking the impertinent question, a question designed to display that person's superior position (superior to what or to whom?) Sure, I'll bet every person deserves acknowledgement and has value somewhere, but drunks, drug addicts, and jerks can have all that somewhere else.

Even drunks, drug addicts or even homeless people for that matter should be acknowledged. I believe most of these people are self medicating in a society that isn't conducive to their well being. Most of them have had extremely shitty upbringings or have been abused..there are many reasons people turn to drugs and it isn't always their fault. A lot of us can look at them and assume they should be stronger and why would they want that kind of a life or they are just losers...this is rarely the case and each person's living experience is based on their own subjective experiences...who are we to judge? I read a great book called Hungry Ghosts by Gabor Mate.....he's a doctor who treats addicts....it's a tough read due to the sadness of the content, but a great book to understand the life of an addict better.

Nazis had beliefs, and they (Nazis) were certainly recognized. Crossing a cow pasture, anyone can accidentally step in something. Only a fool sits down in it.

1

I consider myself an atheist. I study Buddhism but don’t consider myself a “Buddhist” or that it is necessarily a religion (Buddha is not a God). Buddhists have been studying how the mind works, what is the “self,” (or that it doesn’t really exist), and how to live a better life by understanding the mind and having better control of one’s emotional life. Buddhism is most certainly a religion for Tibetans, Indians, and most Asians, but many people, especially in the West study it more as a self-help psychotherapy.
My parents are both Jewish atheists. I consider myself culturally and ethnically Jewish but not in the slightest bit religiously Jewish. I was on a dating site MeetMindful which includes a section of things that are “rule outs” for people. Many women checked “conservatives,” “carnivores,” “polyamory,” and I was surprised to see that about a third of the women I was interested in had checked “atheists.” Because many people do judge atheism as bad, I chose to put “spiritual but not religious” on dating sites. More recently I have chosen to go with Buddhist as it seems to be respected more than is atheism.
Atheism can be threatening. It can certainly mean “I am sure you are wrong in believing in God.” I do believe that but I can be respectful. No doubt there are millions of wonderful people who do believe in God (of some sort). I agree with you, it is often smart and respectful to keep our beliefs to ourselves. Though sometimes I resent that Christians and “believers” get to be at the center of societal norms. I have complained to a kids sports league about prayer before games. They just don’t get it. We can support each other.

I like the Buddhist way of thinking.....I embrace that to some degree myself. I usually go with Agnostic....probably equally as threatening to some....however I don't believe in a God, but I do believe that we are somehow directed in the Universe....towards certain people or certain situations...just my thoughts.

1

I make it well known that I do not discuss politics or religion when out in society, and to please talk about something more interesting or important. Besides, I firmly think that when anyone I'm around talks about either of those two topics often, I know I'm not dealing with someone who's serious.

I would tend to agree.....are we too not judgmental of them in a way?....I guess we are all to some degree...although I don't base my like or dislike of a person based on their religious or non religious beliefs...to each their own...however I may feel slightly less of your intelligence based on that....which is being judgmental...just thinking out loud.....I can be a walking contradiction sometimes...lol

1

I always say I'm not religious. I don't care what they think of me. If they say 'we'll pray for you', I say 'Thanks.' and move on.

I tend to do the same....figure it can't hurt for someone to pray for me...certainly can't do any harm...lol

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I say I don't believe in organized religion.

That's a good answer....I may use that one sometime...🙂

1

I think Religious Closet is a great name for a band!

I would agree....lol

@MelAbby10 One of these days I need to learn to play an instrument. Right now, I just play the radio.

You and me both....I grew up in a musical family & learned to play nothing. I can type over 100 words a minute....think I was probably meant to play the keyboards as my father and bother both did. For now...the radio works for me as well....lol

1

I'm fortunate to live in a area where nobody asks or really gives a shit.

Most of my friends are probably atheists and none attend church (except a friend of a friend) and religion is never discussed at gatherings.

We have more significant and/or banal things to chat about. 🙂

You are lucky then...where do you live...if you don't mind me asking?

Northamptonshire in England. Known as the county of Spires and Squires as we have lots of stately homes that were frequented by British Nobility and lots of historic churches.

Stunning buildings which are visited more by tourists and historians than parishioners.

The USA I fear is a bit behind on things...some states are more progressive than others...I unfortunately don't live in a progressive state....they are still flying rebel flags here...which a lot of people are highly offended by...lol

1

There is still a strong presbetarian influence in the part of Scotland where I live. Myself and my daughter stand up for our atheism. Gleefully debating down any and all god botherers that wish to cross wits with us.

Good for you....it seems easy to debunk things as well....🙂

We love it when the Jehovah's knock on the door, we even get the occasional brace of Mormons. Hmm that would be good if they come by the new house. Mormons on Mormord Hill... It's usually them that wish to leave. My late wife's dad used to call me up to come around and chat with them, just to see them squirm.

Ha ha....my Dad always had us kids get rid of the door knockers...any way we wanted to....we used to put Halloween masks on and run and scare them. As an adult, I used my pit bull as an excuse as he scarily hung in the window barking his brains out...it worked like a charm...lol

1

If asked, I just politely say I’m not religious.

Do they tend to question you from there or just assume you are a heathen not worth indulging?

@MelAbby10 It’s so rare that the subject comes up and even more rare for someone to question me further on it.

I think the last time it happened is a neighbor friend was telling me how she is worried about her cousin because he’s an atheist. I volunteered the fact that I was too. She was kind of shocked and didn’t really believe me, so I left it at that.

It's funny how people assume everyone is religious and it's okay to have that conversation as someone will relate. We should just start assuming everyone is a non believer and see how that works out for us....lol

1

I feel like I'm forced to play their game. I'm affraid to voice my opinion because in the past it did not turn out too well for me. Amazing how one subtle difference can make people think so lowly of me.

I believe certain people of the church seem to be the most judgmental of all....I'm pretty sure if they asked themselves....What would Jesus do? or God for that matter.....it would probably not be standing in judgment of people who think differently. It sucks being in the Religious Closet....but I am there as well to some degree.

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