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Reaching for connection but missing every time.

A 30 year-old guy in London asked "How are you doing?" ten times in as many days. I ignored him. Today I blocked him.

He's trying to make some sort of connection. Like a bad trapeze artist, he's been reaching for my hands but missing every time. Meanwhile, the stage crew has gathered below and begun to roll up the safety net.

What's the point? He's too young and lives in England. Maybe a scammer.

"How are you doing?" puts the onus on me to describe my activities or feelings. It's frustrating. Why should I do all of the work?

To me, he's a void who said nothing about himself.

Your thoughts?

LiterateHiker 9 Dec 29
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26 comments

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6

Get them all the time (other site) beautiful buxom young women ....their words and approach 100% identical, like reading from a script......it’s not a gender thing, it’s a predator thing.

6

Never have anything to do with an Englishman they are very annoying.

Which aspect?

@oldFloyd Just about all of them of course. Mind you we do make a good cup of tea.

@Fernapple I'm partial to Twinings Earl Grey, well before Piccard, but thats like 300 years from now.

5

Here in Australia "How're you doing" is a form of greeting between either friends or strangers passing each on the street, etc, the reply is usually " Pretty good, how about yourself?"
Another one used when 2 good friends meet, male friends of course, is " How's it hanging Mate," to which the reply/response is usually " Soft, Floppy and to the left, how's yours?"
Thankfully NONE of these are ever classed as 'pick up' lines.

..some of us are too literal 😉 It’s a greeting around me, too; one I’m working hard to respond to with far less detail..

@Varn Well, we , the 'older Aussies, are somewhat known for being what others may call outspoken, forthright, open and also having a sense of humour that others fail to grasp/understand.
Those are things that are resultant from the Aussie Ideology of what we call Mateship.

@Triphid

When strangers or clerks ask, "How are you?" I reply "Happy!"

People love it.

@LiterateHiker Yet here in Australia when asked something similar we often answer with " Not too bad for an old Bloke/Sheila, etc, etc."
Another greeting here is, "How're going?" to which the usually response here is " Ah, one leg after the other, how about you?"

@Triphid We’re likely too diverse and competitive in the US.. I’ve come to consider such a greeting as a way for them to put dumbos like me off balance … sizing us up as we attempt to foolishly answer their cold blooded incenserity with a grin.

Sounds like ‘the British’ in you with regard to being outright & open. One of my favorite friends is the same, and ‘English.’ What a refreshing time we’ll have!

@Varn Oooh, are you trying to 'insult' a True Blue Aussie by referring to him as being somewhat 'british."
Dem could be fightin' words here...LOL.
For the most part, We, the Old-timer Aussies, threw off the Pommie shackles decades ago and we consider ourselves as being 110% Aussies through and through.
Our somewhat 'odd ways' as others seem to see them were born from the days when most of our predecessors were shipped in chains as "Unwanted Garbage from Loving Mother England," they became resentful, often angry, determined, above all else, to create and foster an New Australian Persona which included a very deep and meaning fully version of Unity and Friendship which we know as 'Aussie Mate-ship,' a very strong and lasting bond that is NOT easily broken even though the Hobs and Nobs who still desire to hide behind the skirts of Mother England try and try to destroy but never truly succeed.
Mayhap, the few 'decent Yanks left amongst you could learn a bit from us True Blue Aussie?

@Triphid That’s great, and rich! I get it. My English buddy’d love to drink to all that! Sounds like you both have a bold, refreshing way of telling it like it is. Love it. Over here, people are so fake you wanna puke.. Hollywood fake.

Funny, though, my ol’ bud did rib me about moving to Virginia, that ‘it’ had been yet another penal colony for ‘the crown.’ And, the fact he’s now living in the USA likely tells what he really thinks of Mother England 😀

Seems the closest I’ll ever get to OZ is my fond TV memory of ‘A Town Like Alice,’ from a long ways back now.. When I’d looked into immigrating to Australia prior to heading across my nation, your government at the time was further right, or wrong than mine.. And, with seemingly insurmountable entry requirements, much like ‘over here,’ or about anywhere now days.

Glad you’ve pride in your nation, I’ve lost mine for ‘over here’ 😟

@Varn Imo, our Governments, LNP and Labor, have been 'way up a wattle' for decades (btw way up a wattle is nicer way of putting that they've been Up Shit Creek ).
If they aren't muck raking at each other, Party-wise, then they're fighting amongst themselves, suck arse to every Knob and Hob around the world, as we saw with 'Auntie ScumMo Morrison doing with tRump), sinking their porcine snouts into the Public Purse or running around like headless chickens.
Personally I doubt if any of them could organise a Free Root in an Whorehouse these days.
The BEST Government Australia EVERY had was the Labor Government under Gough Whitlam.
Proud of the REAL Australian Peoples YES, of the way the nation is being governed NO, definitely NO.

5

I admire your persistence.
While admittedly I do have the time, I don't have any inclination.
Sorry you've been getting duds.

5

It amazes me how many ppl think they can make the most minimal effort and that's good enough for them. Minimal effort deserves minimal response or no response. You done good.

5

I agree with you about having the onus on you. Kind of like when a guy says nothing about himself on a profile other than “I’m an open book, ask me anything.”

That’s great but can you at the very least say 2 or 3 hobbies or interests you have?!?! Don’t make me do ALL the work

@Marcie1974

Exactly. Well said.

WHen people say they are an open book, what they mean is "The pages are empty." Move on......

@Mitch07102 I will sometimes say that in person because I tend to over share...but I don’t have it on a dating profile

5

I think you should ask him for 1k euros and see what happens.

WHy just 1K?

I'd go for an electric Jaguar XKE. Just saying.

Then get arrested for slolicitation 😂

4

All I'll say is, I find "How are you doing?" a bit more verbose than one I received not too long ago ...

"sup?"
For real - from a grown-ass adult male. Hell, even scammers make more of an effort !

I didn't bother ... <sigh>

3

I agree with you fully. He is trying to make some sort of connection and for what. Recently a woman from this site did that with me. I don't think she liked my answers. I don't send money and I'm not wanting to increase my mortgage.

Fun to string some along, always try to get them off script.

@Canndue That IS my favourite 'sport' when it comes to those annoying Tele-marketers and the like.

3

I've had a few even here start conversations that way. My reply is usually something like, "Okay, considering." Then there's the inevitable "Tell me a little bit about yourself." Well, it's there in my profile. Anyone who wants more than that is going to have to work for it.

I generally string them along for a few more non-answers before I get bored.

3

And they talk funny

Does anybody know if he is a native born Londoner or is he somebody who lives and works there? Perhaps he is not an Englishman?

2

You have to protect yourself,job well done.

@WayneDalton

Thank you, Wayne.

2

He was engaging in role reversal. If anybody is seriously interested in acquaintanceship, the first thing is to find out as much as you can about that person: look at their posts, their comments, their replies and their bio. You can find out a lot about their person's personality and interests that way.

Ten times in as many days? You have the patience of a saint.

2

I would block him/them at attempt two.

1

Well, how are you doing? From sofabeast, age 58 Scotland.....

1

Yes you described it well. I appreciate your analysis of it putting the onus on you. He may be a real person of that age but if so he’s missing the social skills to make it here

@BudFrank

Good points. Thank you. Happy New Year!

@LiterateHiker happy new year!

1

I don't even consider floridians that live more than an hour drive from where I live.

1

Your effort to connect both impresses, saddens, and assures me, I’m personally on the right track… At times, I’ll cringe over a memory of having ‘put myself out there,’ the foolishness, even embarrassment.. Then I’ll witness others doing the same, and attempt to suppress cringing.

I’ve determined life’s a cycle; where I’m at, I’ve never been. Where I’ve been is not where I’m going. But where I’m at remains new, if daily. And (buts & ands) where I go next remains my choice, not influenced or directed by another, with as many alternate connections, interests, desires, responsibilities and priorities as me...

There are ‘those of interests,’ but when pondering the reality of a r/s … No thanks leaves me skipping off, if hiking alone.. I meet the most interesting people headed the opposite direction, though 😉

Varn Level 8 Dec 29, 2020

@Varn

What does "r/s" mean?

Men still reach out to me. I don't have to initiate the first move.

@LiterateHiker ‘Relationship’ You’re too good at tempting 😉

1

I think I will borrow that headline and insert into my bio.

1

Say you are Vegan as F.

1

I'm thinking of Joey Trebiani from Friends whose pick up line was "Hey, how you doing? Maybe the young man figured that was all it took.

1

He could just be using his best Joey Tribbiani approach😉

1

I can only imagine, stay well.

1

Who was getting? Younger men are awesome

Maybe - if they know how to say something, and are in the same country ...

1

If I were you I would give him a wide berth. If a woman half my age suddenly showed interest in me and had nothing to say about herself I would soon begin to wonder why. Initially, I might be flattered but would soon want to know why she is interested in me. If I did not receive a satisfactory reply then I would ignore or block her...🙂

You are a cynic, like me😀

@Canndue Ahahaha

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