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The dating profile I really want to write.

I am not a kitchen slave. I refuse to wait on a selfish, lazy man-baby.

Have always been a bit of a sapiosexual, attracted to intelligent and funny men. Speaking of sex, you don’t put anything in my ass and I won’t put anything in yours. Deal?

I never bought a TV. The sound of televised sports annoys me. Don't expect me to watch games with you. I will happily read instead.

Fishing is severely boring. Love Dave Barry's take on golf: "Fishing is very similar to golf because in both sports you hold a long skinny thing in your hand and nothing happens for days at a time."

I don't have any pets. Cats trigger my asthma. Can't stand constantly barking, jumping up little dogs. Hurts my ears. "Down, dammit!" I said. Control your dogs.

Hiking is my passion. Let's hike together. One of us needs to have a good sense of direction. Don't look at me. "Kathleen, you've always had a lousy sense of direction," my ex-husband said.

I have fun volunteering, reading, hiking, jogging, weightlifting and laughing with friends.

Love my peaceful, orderly home. I refuse to live with a man again. Got it?

LiterateHiker 9 Aug 24
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14 comments

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1

Hah! Sounds like mine!

@davknight

You're a man after my own heart.

Like you, I don't drink alcohol or eat processed food. Instead I cook at home from scratch.

1

After reading "The dating profile I really want to write"......I've come to the conclusion that you have indeed written it.
Now what?
So....do you want to write it again?
Re-Write it?
Just read it over and over ?
Print and scan it?

Oh wait here's an idea Kathleen....put it on a dating site ! You did good !

twill Level 7 Aug 25, 2022

@twill

Yes, I wrote it.

A published author, I always go back to edit my posts.

New ideas pop up, I shorten sentences and choose more potent words.

4

"Every man loves two women, one is the creation of his imagination and the other is not yet born”. Kahlil Gibran

Of course, it equally applies to women.

3

Even when you spell out clearly what you're looking for and not looking for, those that don't fit the criteria will attempt to be "the exception"
Don't give up. Somewhere there's a love just for you.
Hugs

Unity Level 7 Aug 25, 2022
3

I have two TVs, one has not been turned on in years, I'm not sure it works, and I'm not sure where the remotes are.... The other one occasionally is turned on, mostly when grands are here. I turned off the cable when Ted Cruz and Donnie boy were running for president. For myself, I might watch a movie while I am crafting, often it is Netflix on the laptop computer when I decide to knit. For me, any televised sports is a huge NO. I grew up with older brothers, Dad, and GBR (Go Big Red) or other sports every weekend. I even knit during my book club zoom meetings. Yeah, don't get me started on pictures of men with fish, biggest NO ever. I cook because I have to and it's cheaper for me to cook than to buy.

4

If I win big on the Euro-millions. I'll pop over!

7

I can't stand the sound of sports on TV either. I was married to a PE Teacher/Coach for 29 years, and he always had our only TV on when he was home. Drove me nuts. I spent all my time in another room. It was several years before I bought myself a TV after I moved out.

Weeded out a lot of dating prospects when the first stipulation on my profile was "no sports nuts." Sadly the one who finally snookered me into spending 10 years of my life with ended up being a sports nut anyway. Oddly enough, I now watch more TV then I ever have in my life -- but not sports!

Now, the profile I'd like to write would start out with "no liars" but "no sports nuts" would be right up there too. Not sure I'd say "never want to live with a man again" but I sure as heck am not in a hurry to do that again. I love my alone time - but would also love to have someone to do fun things with.

At this point in my life, my peaceful existence is more appealing. I'm fine not dating for now. Lots of people date without marriage or a LTR in mind. Just want to have fun and enjoy life!

4

Fair enough. I have much the same outlook, but from a man's point of view.
If I weren't a doddering old codger who walks slowly, but has a great sense of direction, I would join you for a stroll or two.

3

I give you two thumbs up! best of luck in your quest for love

@Corvislover

Thank you! I added a joke about golf.

7

The threat of putting something in a man's ass might not deter some, strap ons are enjoyed by some. Dommes (female dominants) will sometimes make men use butt plugs as a form of humiliation.

MizJ Level 8 Aug 24, 2022
2

That sounds like you want companionship with benefits (on your terms). 🙂

Betty Level 8 Aug 24, 2022

@Betty

Exactly.

@LiterateHiker I get you. 🙂

@LiterateHiker Maybe you profile should read. - Looking for (M or F) companion with potential benefits to share common interests. - List interests- . 🙂

5

"I refuse to live with a man again." How about living with a woman instead? 😉

I have books by the thousand. Our television has been permanently switched off for the last ten years - it might not even work now. My wife does 70% of the cooking and I do the rest, and I won't let her near either the kitchen sink or the dishwasher.

Hiking is off my radar, and I have XY chromosomes. You and I are but ships passing, each to our own separate destinations. I wave to you nevertheless.

3

If you don't want to live with a man, why have a dating profile? If you want company, why spend time looking for a man when another woman can provide that company without the friction?

There are some people who have a relationship who are happy with separate living arrangements. To each their own, I guess.

@racocn8

With older women, only 28% want to remarry or live with a man again. Yet 75% of older men want to remarry. They want a woman to take care of them.

I have not lived with a man for 26 years. Had boyfriends, the longest was six years. Had a lot of fun! I enjoy companionship, sex, hiking, shared activities, laughter and conversation.

6

I've seen all of that. Just not all in one profile.

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