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What Comforts You as an Atheist While Enduring Suffering

How do you handle being in an emergency or suffering, whether medical, financial or otherwise and people ask you how you seek comfort in times of suffering if you have no god to pray to?

I respond, I seek comfort in other people, its called a support system. I also seek comfort in the fact life is a cycle and death is a natural part of life. Also, money and stability are fleeting as can be health. We all juat do our best to stay sane and work hard and try to put away a few peoverbial nuts for tough times.

How do religious people endure the thought of eternal life worshipping a god? What is next? Is there a next? That shit right there brings me endless existential dread.

My reward would be to worship a god for all eternity? A PG version of life where I have no choice to do what I want? Even if it is not hurting anyone?

Hmm..so yeah, weigh in on the first question please.

ClareCK 5 Feb 10
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14 comments

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1

Support and comfort in times of emergency and distress is filled by special people whom I can trust. They know who they are. ❤

It makes no sense to me to ask for comfort from a fictional character, I might as well ask the wall. lol

Betty Level 8 Feb 11, 2023
1

I use exactly the same mental faculties to deal with whatever it is that is causing me to suffer that I use to debunk your claim of your particular god.

Moreover, why should I waste my time and effort praying to your demonstrably ineffective god when I can be doing something practical to deal with the cause or causes of my suffering?

3

I agree that having a human support network is ideal, with real practical help, advice and even professional help when needed.

As a bit of a loner, I don't like depending on others too much, so I do try to help myself as much as possible. Gaining knowledge about the causes of my problems is one strategy I try.

I also like to just think on the cycle of life, like you mentioned. When dealing with grief, it helps me to understand that though the person is out of my life physically, I still have within me all that I learned and loved with that person. I'm enriched by knowing them.

Even the bad experiences and memories make us more aware, more careful, stronger and add to our resilience to bend rather than break, wiser and more loving going forward for those bad experiences. Put them behind us, to give us strength. (Or try anyway!)

It also helps to know that just like the tides go in and out and the pendulum swings all the way this side, and then the other side, all we can do is enjoy the good times and have faith that the bad times will recede and there will be moments of joy and abundance again, so we'd better grab them while we can, and put a little aside for enjoying later.

So bottom line, similar to you, I just lean on humanity and the understanding that life has its cycles, and we do what we can to help ourselves and others, when we can and for things we have no control over, just be patient until things return to a more comfortable reality. Look to science and the wisdom of others who have experienced similar challenges before us to help ourselves when we can and accept help when we can't.

I'd rather have someone help me or accept my help because its the caring thing to do, rather than because its the "christian" thing to do.

The Christian thing usually comes with a side of guilt and shame. I will take the kindness of a literal stranger over "charity". I agree.

“Look to science and the wisdom of others who have experienced similar challenges before us to help ourselves when we can and accept help when we can't.”

My sentiments exactly!

Perfectly written. It is the way I live and it is so nice to know others do as well. 🙂

3

Gods! I don't need no stinking gods! I have sex, drugs, alcohol, and music. 🙃

Those are all escapes. Not bad in moderation though.

@ClareCK Just the alcohol and drugs in moderation. Religion is an escape too.

@Sticks48 which is why I escaped relgion. Haha

0

By having practiced, and continuing to practice my religion.

Those dreads you have are based on popular misunderstandings of one particular religion. That same religion properly understood, as well as any other religion understood in the light of science, can help reduce unnecessary suffering, just as ASTRALMAX mentioned below. But whether done in the name of a traditional religion or generically, it requires practice.

”If we take eternity to mean not infinite temporal duration but timelessness, then eternal life belongs to those who live in the present.”
— Ludwig Wittgenstein

skado Level 9 Feb 10, 2023
5

Just knowing that my suffering isn't an outward sign of the inward flaws of my immoral character makes me happier.

Yeah, suffering is just a part of life and we all do at times. It isn't a moral judgement as religion would have us believe.

3

Religious people throw in ideas like seeing loved ones again and being together with them. That is not in the book. Happy family times in heaven are not in the book. Singing god's praises forever and ever are in the book, but religious people seem to overlook that. I don't think I could handle the first 10,000 years.

I couldn't handle 1 day being forced into subservient worship.

2

. . . things could ALWAYS be worse. 😛

1

It seems to me that excluding a situation where there is physical pain such as an accident or an illness all other forms of suffering are a product of the human imagination. We suffer our two greatest faculties of mind, a vivid memory and a fantastic imagination. People suffer an event that happened ten years ago or some imagined future event, neither of which has got anything to do with the present situation in which they find themselves other than the continuation of a self manufactured drama.

“Parkinson’s law states that work expands to fill the time available for its completion. In a similar vein anxiety expands to fill the mental space available for its contemplation.” Thomas Szasz

This is the essence of all traditional religious wisdom. If you employ it, you are practicing religion in the generic sense.

“Be Here Now.”

@skado I think that the phrase ‘be here now’ needs some qualification. In the first instance it is impossible to be anywhere else, if anyone thinks otherwise, kindly show me. For most if not all of us, our mind/imagination usually momentarily hovers between some past event and some as yet unknown future event throughout the day while time’s arrow moves continually forward.

@ASTRALMAX
Of course it is meant mentally rather than physically. And yes, having a wandering mind is our natural state. This is why practice is required. Regardless of time’s forward movement, we can learn how to keep our attention focused on the ever-present “now” rather than on the future or the past.

@ASTRALMAX I agree, as the term be present, be in the moment, or any derivation thereof, implies humans can shut off thinking and memories and regrets and more. An entire mental health field exists precisely because we struggle to do this, which is seen in depression, anxiety, and pain. If we could all just turn that off, there wouldn't be prescription medication, therapy, addiction and struggle.

I dislike any axioms posing as universal panaceas or vague ambiguous language. One example is manifest. That word is bullshit and abused now for financial gain. As if people can manifest shit. Like you deserve what you think. Victims of crimes sure don't manifest those and little ones being hurt didn't manifest that, it's like saying it's god's will. Same ludicrous idea.

We all cannot avoid suffering in our lives, in fact it helps stimulate personal growth by being uncomfortable. This forced toxic positivity and be in control narrative are myth sold to people from the self-help industry.

Fact is life is scary, hard and requires struggle and support. That's a brutal truth. We are always connected to our pasts and worrying about the future, and it's called human nature.

@ClareCK The mantras of the self help industry whether it be use of the words like manifest, affirmation or visualise are all bullshit promulgated by those who have made a lot of money out of public gullibility. Essentially they are no different from any religious belief and no different from declassifying documents by merely thinking about it.

Whatever happened in our lives cannot be erased from our memories and it is foolish to attempt to erase it, over time it may come to be viewed differently as our feelings about it begin to change of their own accord without forcing the matter. Telling someone to forget what happened or get over it resolves nothing.

@ASTRALMAX The past is our learning experience, our history. And. "Those who do not learn from history, are doomed to repeat its mistakes. " Aplies as much to the person as to the nation state.

@ASTRALMAX oh wow, so yes. I am sick of The Secret crap and manifest this and meditate. Lol.

I always wonder to about cultural stealing Americans do as if someone else's culture is "othered" as superior because it's different. It's bizarre.

Obsession with Eastern rituals and philosophy by White people is weird to me too. I know sometimes we as Americans lack community and culture but other making others religion, beliefs, practices and culture a type of "rejuvination" or spa activity seems terrible to me.

Like the term "yoga pants" as I lift weights and most people in the gym wear sweats and tanks and all of a sudden guys think all women wear these tight uncomfortable leggings and call them yoga pants. Isn't that offensive? Yoga pants are not those in reality.

I think these buzzwords and self help jargon blatantly steal from other countries identities and beliefs way too much and try to rebrand and sell them.

I also mistrust people who use verbosity to sound more intelligent than the conversation requires. I endured years of that insufferable shit at grad school.

Why can't some American ever realize strength they seek is within?

We do not need to borrow other people's lives and beliefs to endure or heal or relax.

I am not saying adopting another country's rituals is bad per say, but not necessary if you have inner strength.

We don't need to use fancy jargon and loan words from other cultures to promote healing and recovery from life's bullshit is all.

Self help is literally loaded with it.

@ClareCK The desire for something different, some kind of spiritual/religious practice probably gave rise to the importation of eastern religions. As you well know, difference is both desired by some and rejected by others, the ‘far in’ people and the ‘far out’ people often clash.

Yoga pants merely accentuate an individual’s lower body shape and as to whether or not they are comfortable to wear, I do not know but am sure that they will catch the male eye in a yoga class.

I agree with your statement on verbosity which reminds me of George Orwell’s words: “Simplify your English and you are of all the follies or orthodoxy. Whenever you say something stupid, its stupidity will be obvious, even to yourself” “The great enemy of clear language is insincerity. When there is a gap between one's real and one's declared aims, one turns, as it were, instinctively to long words and exhausted idioms, like a cuttlefish squirting out ink”. George Orwell.

Those who are verbose usually have nothing to contribute​ other than a futile attempt to impress some imagined others. You will certainly find a measure of verbosity on this site, plenty of buzzwords and parroted concepts.

“Why can't some American ever realize strength they seek is within?” Perhaps they might gain some benefit from reading Ralph Waldo Emerson, especially, the essay on Self Reliance. No doubt you well know that there are a variety of factors at work here.

Some people continually look for something different and often what they thought of as being different turns out to be the same bullshit repackaged with a new ribbon.

@ASTRALMAX you just quoted my favorite author. Emerson. Good for you! Yeah, I am over people pushing anything on me. I was just in the gym and the person working there said have a blessed day! At the gym! Hahaha I was shocked. Usually it's see you tomorrow or hope you had a great workout. Nope. Blessed day.again.

I wonder if anyone thinks for a second if the person they are talking to is even religious? Nope. Just a baseline assumption with most people that if they believe something, everyone must. It's wild!

As for bs repackaged, so yes. Any guru, coach or whatever title foisted upon us by some charlatan come lately, always invokes 70s terms, eastern relgioons or vague indisernable notions of business jargon for "success". It is exhausting.

I liked what Elizabeth Taylor said,

"You just do it. You force yourself to get up. You force yourself to put one foot in front of the other, and Godamn it, you refuse to let it get to you. You cry. You curse. Then you go about the business of living. That's how I've done it. There's no other way."

So fucking true! Say whatever you have to to get out of bed and go to work or whatever lousy "have to" errand or task you gotta do, but it us within YOU and all of us to kick your own ass to do it.

2

The certain knowledge that i have survived before and there is no time to waste now by whining.

3

That death sets a natural limit to suffering, so that suffering will always be finite. I find is the biggest comfort yes.

Yes. This.

1

I meditate and detach from suffering's origin. This does not eliminate suffering, that is impossible, but it does bring me back to the immediate moment where past events have no power over me. Fear of future doesn't exist in the now so that suffering is also removed.

1

Suffering may well cause believers to question their belief, as well they should. Many unbelievers do come with a background where they suffered grievously. Evil and suffering provide basic challenges to the conventional definition of a God that is involved and cares. Suffering that causes one to question faith may also cause cognitive dissonance, paradox and unresolvable trauma.

Every single thing done to me including violence, was done in the name of a Christian God. So glad I reject that moral shield from my life and all those who seek its defective powers to truly be evil in a non religious sense of the word.

@ClareCK I am frequently stunned to hear Christians denounce atheists as immoral when it's obvious how Christianity fosters hatred and violence at every opportunity. While I certainly don't believe in the Christian notion of evil, 'evil' is the perfect word to describe Christianity. Christianity poisons the minds and hearts of Christians and everyone suffers for it.

4

Being out in nature, listening to a great piece of music -- just being out in or dealing with something that's bigger than myself or my problems while still being real.

I enjoy riding my bike through trails and woods to not think so much. Nature is great sometimes but other times the vibe of a busy city and being a part of life and music and events helps me lose myself much more. Some people swear by meditation, but exercise and moving like a shark work for me and always will. I overthink, so meditation is hell for people like me. Some of us need action to become "free" of mental dwelling places.

@ClareCK Everybody's different. I'm kind of a misanthrope, so busy cities just irritate me despite all the cultural opportunity. I do understand about the movement and exercise, though. I tried meditation as well, but all it ended up being was an opportunity to observe my "monkey mind" jumping all over the place. However, I found some movement-based activities much better for remaining in the moment. The aikido class I took, for example, involved tai chi, and one time, while in the middle of this movement series, I realized my mind was entirely focused (though, with that realization, the focus was broken). Scuba diving had a similar effect.

@DharmaBum50 why do men always say they hate the city and are hermits? This is a common post on all websites I comment on. Is this a growing trend?

People can be tedious and exhausting that I get. Cities can be loud and crowded too. But nature gets old just as fast. Booooring.

I like both equally but sitting around in nature makes death feel closer and like civilization is decaying.

I love modern conveniences! Getting glammed up to hit the town and have drinks and shoot pool or go to a show or theater. I also like being on college campuses to have intelligent conversations. Even if I audit a class.

I think when anyone starts becoming a hermit, that may be an opportunity to get out more and reconnect with others.

I think men need to make more friends too. We women are all about connecting to others.

Yes, lifestyles are a choice, I respect that, but meditating in nature for a type A is a prison sentence. I need to be where the action is baby! Haha

I am like a shark, I stop moving I die.

Let the trees cover the dead. Just my opinion.

Although, I do love trees.

I think people assume you have to be a hermit in nature to reconnect to life, but I can do just that in heels while on the dance floor too!

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