Why some men give men a bad name (short version):
I was in Walmart today speaking to a young man who works there; I have known him for years. We were talking about how I hate green bananas. Another employee, a fat, grizzled, 60ish man, appeared from where the produce is stored and butted into the the conversation. I remembered him vaguely from a week or so ago when he had been WAY too friendly when I was looking at bananas then; I had even told the door greeter (another Walmart "friend" ) but then, forgot about it.
I evaded him after a few minutes, walked around and squeezed the avocados (none were near ripe) and started down one of the main aisles when Mr. Produce Guy beckoned to me. I asked him what he wanted and he said, "If you were MINE, you would be a satisfied woman."
I was not shocked as strangers have said worse to me, but I said, "You think that you can own women? What makes you think what women want or allow themselves to be owned? What makes you think I would ever by 'yours?'" He was taken aback, tried to cover himself, and said a few more inane things about he was from an "earlier time" and had morals and manners.
No, dude, you don't.
I happened to see a manager before I left the store and told him about the incident. It is not that I want him to get fired, but neither do I want to have to fend him off every time I go into that store. (And not that I am not capable of fending men off, but I shouldn't have to.)
Yet another man who does not realize that just because a woman speaks to him, it does not mean she is interested in him. I'm 70 years old--when is this crap going to stop?
12
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7 comments
Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.My wife mostly in her younger days would often inform me of similar situations that she experienced .I asked her how she reacted and her response was that she would most often just smile and walk away.I inquired as to why she did not say anything to these lowlifes and her answer was you never know if one of these guys is a nut job and may possibly stalk me and assault me in response to the confrontational rebuke .This is definitely a possibility and has probably happened to woman .
richiegtt
Level 8
Mar 23, 2023
7
I agree ,Unfortunately I have heard of woman this has happened to .
It was code, he knows where to find the yellow bananas and the ripe avocados.
In a similar situation I would have asked him "what makes you think I want satisfaction?"
Willow_Wisp
Level 8
Mar 23, 2023
2
To answer your question: never. The reason is that the emotional defectives, like the poor, shall be forever with us.
anglophone
Level 9
Mar 23, 2023
1
@Gwendolyn2018 Sorry, no. I refer you to unfortunate experiences reported by women in aged care homes.
@Gwendolyn2018 Hmmm ...
It's being hit on by an older woman that might give cause for thought.
@Gwendolyn2018 Ah, my imprecision of expression has tripped me up again. I had in mind you being hit on by an older woman. If an older woman tried that on me: "Sorry, I am already taken.".
@Gwendolyn2018 Yep!
Wow, surprising how many men you cross paths with who feel they can say such inappropriate things - and in a store yet - not a nightclub where one might expect such talk. (Not right anywhere.)
You sure have great comebacks - hopefully causing them to think a bit about what they said and even in "an earlier time" stuff like that was degrading toward women. It wasn't okay then and it's not okay now. Sheesh!
If we take care of ourselves, keep somewhat fit and healthy, it's never going to stop. If we let ourselves go, we get derogatory comments about losing our looks. Glad some of us are able to live for ourselves, not for the appraisal by others.
Julie808
Level 8
Mar 23, 2023
2
Sorry, I simply could not resist being extremely catty, hence "Sweetheart, you looked like you were a girl's worst nightmare ever since you were in nappies.".
Sorry that this happened to you. Some men are indeed ignorant, knuckle-dragging assholes.
I'd bet $100 that Mr. Produce Guy is a Trump supporter and has an extensive list of types of people he hates (blacks, gays, foreigners, etc, etc, etc, etc).
Charles1971
Level 7
Mar 22, 2023
4
Good for you. This should not ever happen when we are at a business. He shouldn't be using his job to hit on women. Good grief. If it were me I'd have been searching for the manager before I left the store. It's not flattering, it's creepy as all hell and the manager needs to get that under control.
HippieChick58
Level 9
Mar 22, 2023
5
MizJ:
@Gwendolyn2018 This is misogyny and privilege. The guy sees himself as superior to women, your thoughts and feeling don't matter to him.
MizJ:
@Gwendolyn2018 A man can choose to be single and it's acceptable, when a woman does she is defective! I have heard that many times as I didn't marry or have kids. It's an insult and BS! If that guy learned to respect women he might be able to get a date.
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