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You are God for the day. What commandments would you make?

It doesn't need to be ten, but it can't be more than ten.

paul1967 8 May 9
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44 comments

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1

If I am God, I set the rules. I can be God for as long as I like, and I can have as many commandments as I like. So there. 8)

9

Thou shalt not be an asshole.

Thou shalt not drive your shitty little Fiat with the stupid loud exhaust pipe past My house at 2am every fucking night.

Thou shalt tell off thine children if they're running riot in a shop, not ignore them and leave them to do whatever they want.

Thou shalt talk to thine children and teach them things when pushing them around in pushchairs (strollers, if thine art American), not have thine earphones in listening to music on thine phone. That is abhorrent to Me.

Thou shalt look where the fuck thou is going, not walk along engrossed in whatever is on thine phone's screen.

Thou shalt not talk incessantly about soccer to people who have made it clear to thou that they have no interest whatsoever in it. Also, when I say I do not know what the offside rule is, understand I don't give a shit and am not inviting thou to explain it to Me.

Twitter, thou shalt add an "edit" option.

Flies and another annoying winged insects, fuck off.

Thou shalt not try to suggest that the Nazis were socialists just because they were called "National Socialists". That also is abhorrent to Me, and it's stupid.

Men, thou shalt not wear white socks unless thou art actually participating in a sport such as tennis at the time. Nor shalt thou go around in public without a shirt; nobody wants to see thine sweaty back even if thou dost go to the gym regularly.

Jnei Level 8 May 9, 2018

lol - no white socks

hahaha, shitty fiat!!

8

Thou shalt return your shopping carts to the cart corral and not leave them in parking spaces. If you do not do this, I shall smite you.

Thou shalt not discard of your chewing gum anywhere except in a designated trash receptacle after carefully wrapping it, of course. If any of it ends up on a sidewalk or a movie theater seat I shall smite you twice.

Thou shalt be excellent to each other. If you fail in this, you shall be smited bigly.

Thou shalt take excellent care of those animals which are dependent upon you for their food and shelter. If you fail in this, I shall rain down thunder, lightening, fury, and a plague of painful boils upon you.

Thou shalt give "the wave" if I let you merge in front of me. If you do not give "the wave", thou shalt be smited with dents and dings on the body of thine motorized transports.

Thou shalt keep thy laws out of women's vaginas and uteruses. Thou shalt make no laws restricting the freedom of adult consenting persons to love and make legally-recognized social contracts as they choose.

I'm sure with time, I could come up with more.

7

My 10 Commandments:

1- Reject Faith it's a terrible means of knowledge.
2- Don't Pray to me asking me to fix your problems, get off your ass and do something about it
3- Sex between two consenting adults is none of your damn business
4- Do NOT enslave your fellow man
5- There is no Afterlife! Make this one count
6- Share what you can, when you can with people in need.
7- This planet is not your plaything, take care of it.
8- Make love, not war but use a condom unless you're absolutely sure you're ready to have kids.
9- Educate yourselves Evolution is science and creationism isn't so follow the evidence.
10- Murder is wrong, especially in my name.

I like your list!

7
  1. Thou shalt not associate with fuckboys.
  2. Thou shalt not use faith as justification, but instead use thine noggin.
  3. Thou shalt not partake of more than thy fair share of the dumplings.
  4. Thou shalt do thine utmost to limit thy usage of electricity and petroleum.
  5. Thou shalt not deny empirically established science.
  6. Thou shalt not do anything to harm thy fellow human. Unless thy fellow human is attempting to harm thee, in which case, belt the fucker.
  7. Thou shalt treat thy fellow human as equal, regardless of colour or gender.
  8. Thou shalt not use "like" as every other fucking word in thine speech.
  9. Thou shalt buy a sensible car for thine locale. A Range Rover is not appropriate for London.
  10. Thou shalt not laugh at thy fellow man's awkward erections.
6

WHite people shalt not dance.

LOL!

6

Thou shalt apply logic and the scientific method to everything.
Thou shalt value life.
Thou shalt value all human life as equal.

There, that should pretty much do it.

6

Don't be a dick

6

Don't be a dick

Don't do stuff to others you wouldn't want done to you.

Don't meddle with what two(or more) consenting adults are doing.

Maybe plant something every now and then..

Don't have kids if you can't take care of em.

Same goes for pets.

If it's not your crotch it's not your buisness.

6

Stop eating my friends! And STOP breeding HUMANS!

saved me writing it

5

Thou shalt engage brain before entering voting booth.

5

Commandment: Don’t be an idiot.

  1. Have high standards for the criteria you use to evaluate what facts are(see scientific method)
  2. Don’t form an opinion then interpret the facts to fit your opinion.
  3. Seek the facts first and then fearlessly use sound reasoning to interpret them to form an opinion.
  4. After you form an opinion keep it open for revision in the face of new facts so it doesn’t become dogma.
  5. Work to understand other people’s opinions before you form an opinion about their opinion.

Apply these steps continuously throughout your life to achieve desired results

5

Thou shalt only shoot the breeze.

godef Level 7 May 9, 2018

OK, and maybe the lights if the mood is right.

5

Don't make shit up!

5

Stop the bull shit.

5

I'd remove the Entire Drumpf lineage then self destruct..

@evestrat aaaaaaarrrrrrrrrrgh!

@evestrat that work?..lol

5

Respect Thyself. Respect they Neighbor, Respect Nature .
Be fair and giving in all your dealings.
Take Time to share pleasant thoughts and ideas.

5

Do as you would be done by.

4

Thou shalt:

4

What do you mean? We already are our own gods.

We contribute to creating our own universes.
It's all US.

“Consciousness is fundamental, and matter is derived from consciousness." – Max Planck, theoretical physicist, originated quantum theory, 1918 Nobel Prize in Physics

Yes... great answer. I tell others that we are kings and queens in our own castles. A covered wagon with no horses to maintain. Air conditioning and heat. Geeze... i remember the days if my youth.yes...were close to being gods.

4

If I was God, I would command my followers to NEVER persecute anyone because of their personal beliefs.

4

Thou shalt not infringe upon the beliefs of your fellow man.

4

Love one another.

4

1.- Don't worship any God
2.- Repeat 1 'till get 10 commandments

4

My first, greatest and only commandment:
Realise that religion is bullshit.

Athos Level 5 May 9, 2018
4

Commandment 1 I shalt not exist..

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