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What's the big deal about suicide?

Can the society please stop associating shame with suicide?
Not everyone has a good life or a chance to make it better.
We all die in the end. So what's the big deal about choosing when you leave?

Malachiseyi 4 May 19
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29 comments

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0

There are many people inside the circles of suicidal patients. ....all in the health and law enforcement communities take it very personal when self destructive people bleed or do violence on their watch. ...disposing of cadavers is not the only waste of public dollars there are statutory autopsies grief struck next of kin and neighbors who are scared of such violence. ...until death with dignity is legalized suicide patients are committing crimes not just shameful behavior. ....without painful or terminal illness, suicide is a cowardly act against our human duty to our species and planet. ...better jobs and better circumstances should be pursued than quiting our obligations to community

We have no duty save to our self. If you find an experience unacceptable, no one has the right to demand you endure it because they say you must. And 'committing crimes' lmao, really?! It's cute how you ascribe a semi-religious authority to the law, as if it carries any weight beyond what we, as people give it.

I don't think you've gone around the world and see what people have to live through. Some lives are not just worth living.

@Malachiseyi liberation of all people from the violent faith cults that oppress them is an opportunity that your death wishes betray

20

I will not dispute the logic in your statement.
I will, however, point out that it is most often, a permanent solution to what is usually
a temporary situation.
Not seeing "a chance to make it better" is often short-sighted, and borne of emotional
distress and hopelessness.
Decisions made under duress are not usually rational ones.

That's pretty much hitting the nail on the head.

Great answer, KK. But I'm not surprised. You always come up with good ones!

@balou Thank you. You're very kind.

11

I will NEVER go into a nursing home/care facility. If I get disabled/old - can't take care of myself, I have the right to hasten my demise. My beloved grandmother was flat on her back in a nursing home for the last three years of her life. Her mind was gone. Her body was almost gone. But the social customs dictate that someone MUST be kept technically alive. I have a Living Will and DNR. I deserve the right to decide.

SKH78 Level 8 May 19, 2018

I don't like the smell of slow death prEyer facilities shoving geebush geehobah ghostholes up old folks and disabled noses. ...bleaching floors and sheets daily smells worse than a bad swimming pool. ....bringing in service cats for victims to hold purring in their arms is one step out of a living hell. ....I fight daily to keep healthy and fit. ...I am not giving into the religious death industry and when I am needing self interment it will be in Iowa's ONLY INFIDEL CEMETERY Bellevue Bevan Farm decendants of Atheist Captain Elbridge Gerry Potter mason of Potter's Mill Mississippi River

10

The first thing that needs to change is the term 'commit' suicide. It is not a crime. It is 'choose' suicide.

WOW. Really that is such a great point that I have never seen.

Many veterans with TBI TINNITUS want the noise to stop so our fascist government dopes them shoves them into chaplaincy or 12 step of AA....BUT NOT GIVE THEM ENOUGH TO ENJOY LIFE distracted away from the painful ringing in our heads. ...guns are learned tools to end lives OURS or poor victims in the countries we invade or bomb. ...I invite all to Veterans For Peace through GREEN JOBS the greatest cause for healing life on earth

@WillP2020

It depends where you live.

9

A mentally stable person CAN commit suicide. I understand most people here are from developed nations and have little idea about what goes on with the unlucky folks born into Africa and middle East. But, I for one, will rather gas myself with CO and doze off to death than let some religious extremist stone me to death.
So yes, there are situations when suicide is the only logical solution.

your goods buy a plane ticket and seek asylum in a secular nation....murdering yourself is enabling the evil theocratic criminals

@GreenAtheist
You did that, got to the "secular" nation, applied for asylum and got rejected and deported back to your "shit hole". Because let's face it, nobody wants your dumb black ass in there country.
Then you get the message: "there's no place for your type on the planet".

I can see why sane people kill themselves ... if I was a rape victim living in a cruel country where I could be stoned to death, flogged, put in prison or forced to marry the rapist, I would choose not to live. Some people are living in terrible circumstances and death looks better than life. I do not judge a person who does suicide because they are being horribly abused and can't find anyone to help.

9

I feel and have always believed that living in a choice. I did not choose, to be born, my family, my looks, by intelligence, my chemistry, my country, social standing. If one decides to check out early the least we can do is support their decision and help them check out. That said if it is a 13 or 23 year old who is devastated over a lover leaving them perhaps there should be a timeout period. But someone who suffers for terminal depression for 40 years or is dying from a disease and want to die in dignity NO ONE has the right to say no.

I totally agree with you!!!

7

Masters didn't want their slaves that cost them money to stop working too soon by killing themself, so they added "suicide is a sin" into slave religion?.

7

Control.... kind of like weed... if they can't find a way to tax then they make it illegal.

5

First off, I remember feeling similar to your statements. In fact I felt like that from about age 8 or 9. I really did. I used to barter in my childhood prayers at night, hoping to die. I was in counseling by age 21 after a friend/coworker knew I tried committing suicide by ingesting a lot of pills. He literally took me with him to a picnic in a park and told others not to let me sleep, I had to walk while being propped up by two adults on either side. I think eventually I threw up but it saved me and it began years of on and off therapy and chronic paranoia about being gay.
Yes my life was saved even though it sucked to be me. I lived in that friends attic, slept on a floor, had to heat large kettles of water on a stove to carry over to a bathtub in the middle of the room with no door, walls or privacy but it was a better choice for freedom and independence than being with my parents, in particular my father. It wasn’t easy. I worked, enrolled in college, and more counseling. Eventually I dropped out but I kept working, running, hiding and struggling but I always put on a good front.
It took me 14 years to come out about my sexuality and an AIDS diagnosis but I was in a stable relationship ( or so I thought) but I never quite found the courage to take my life. Thankfully too. I went on with my internalized struggles, on and off counseling and eventually school very late in life. I was always caring for someone near death or end of natural life. A great counselor recognized my compassion and humanity for others and encouraged me to become a social worker. I did and I loved it so I went on for my masters and at age 51, I became a licensed therapist. I learned so much but mostly my hopelessness melted away. I recognized how strong I am and how much I enjoyed listening to others struggling and I could identify with them. I just somehow knew I was meant to be here. I’ve watched 7 people die, was a caregiver and 2 were partners but I can’t say I regret any of it. I was also sexually abused as a child but I have overcome everything and I am still standing. I don’t have any clear answer for you but I believe you are actually hoping for a lifeline. I hope you get it and will hold on. Problems are temporary, new ones come along. Suicide is permanent and it has so many unintended effects and leaves a trail of pain you cannot ever know. So while life can be a chronic struggle, it has its moments. I’m sorry you’re in pain but I do thank you for allowing us all here to hear you rather than hold yourself in pain and despair. Just take it all an hour at a time and reach out to a professional. You eventually will find the right person who can truly understand you and help. I hope you will take my advice. I rarely give it but I wanna see you make it. Even if you cannot see what it looks like, you’re gonna get there.
Thanks for sharing and keep us posted.

5

I think we've been socialized to think negatively about death, and especially suicide. While I support assisted suicide, I have to be cautious about other types of suicide. There's a tremendous difference between choosing to end one's life due to illness or injury is different than choosing to end one's life due to other things generally has more to do with mental health, and I would question a suicide choice. Choosing suicide due to a brain tumor or such is different than killing oneself because of a relationship breakup or family problems. Does that make sense?

Whichever the case, I don't think suicide under any condition should be shamed. We need to be empathetic to those who feel suicidal due to life circumstances. Mental health issues are so crucial in this country.

4

It's about who you leave behind, and how you choose to go.

3

This discussion does a good job of covering a lot of the arguments for and against suicide that have been presented going all he way back to the ancient Greeks. Beyond the religious reasons are the arguments that delineate a person's responsibilities to society and to their own survivors.
I would argue that in most cases, especially teenagers, a suicide attempt or suicidal gesture is really a cry for help. Most states have the mechanism of putting such a person on a 72 hour hold in a hospital.
I do believe, however, that there are situations where suicide is acceptable. My father was dying of cancer and decided he didn't want to live through the inevitable pain associated with his particular type of cancer. It was sad that he couldn't find a way that didn't involve bystanders while allowing him to die quickly. He chose to stop eating and drinking. Th research shows that this is not a painful way to die as within 24 hours the hunger goes away. It took longer than he had hoped, and the hospice people abandoned my mother (their national organization believes that if necessary you should sedate a person until they die 'naturally' if there's any indication of suicidal ideation), Rather than cowardice, I think it took incredible courage to make the decision every day to continue on his intended course.

3

We're all LIVID here because they've just invalidated our ''Death With Dignity" laws (VOTED by the citizens of California, by the way.) How the damned religious fanatics can win yet ANOTHER victory in running peoples' lives is beyond me. Here's ANOTHER issue we'll have to overturn, once the GOP is gone.

3

As long as you've thought it through, do it in a considerate manner and don't botch it I don't have a problem.

Thought it through is an obvious one, not something to be done on the spur of the moment.

Considerate manner may seem odd but I have know people who have given due to thought to the aftermath and others who used it to punish people. The most considerate was without immediate family and made sure all the paperwork was taken care of, that the police would be the ones to find them, all the rest of it. The worst was a man who tied his wife to a chair and forced her to watch him hang himself.

Don't botch it is also possibly less obvious, but don't injure other people in the process, either physically or psychologically, so no jumping in front of trains or any other public spectacle and don't make such a mess of it that somebody else has to care for you for the rest of your life.

I have no problem with the moral aspect but get the practical aspects right.

Kimba Level 7 May 22, 2018
3

At the end of the day, I am pro-choice so it’s not for me or anyone to say what is right or wrong but I can personally say I am glad I stuck around. My life is far from perfect. In fact it’s very hard for many reasons but as someone who professionally counseled people, my training and experience tell me to try being proactively responsive to maintaining life. So I actually respect everyone who has shared opinions and stories. I really continue to grow, learn and try being open to everything. You’re the expert in your own life. I will also say I have experiences and know clients who are glad they stayed alive even if life’s been at times even harder. So I respect wherever you are at.

3

There is the morality issue put forth by religion, but according to the study on suicide by Durkheim, the more rigid a persons religion the more likely they are to attempt suicide (up to slightly more than three times the national average).

To me, suicide in most cases is a permanent solution to a temporary problem. People kind of paint themselves psychologically into a corner where they cut off making certain decisions, primary to please others. Rather than upset others, by making choices that woudl displease loved ones or the religious group they belong to, they choose to end their life.

For most people, if they make a choice tha tupsets someone they don't want to disappoint, it will give them a way out of their problems, or an alternate solution to the permanent one of suicide.

If you look at every person who survived a suicide attempt by jumping off the Golden Gate Bridge, you will find that everyone who survived changed their mind between jumping and hitting the water. All of a sudden making choices tht upset others did not seem so harrowing or that bad.

I do believe for persons who have chronic illness that choosing suicide to avoid livign out a life that could only be filled with suffering is a legitimate solution to their problems. My mother died of "bird fancier's disease", which was a terrible way to die. It is slowly suffocating over a period of many years. The last eight to ten years of her life, she only suffered. She was just incapable of enjoying any part of her life. Because of her religious beliefs, she lived out her life until she finally totally suffocated. I wish her suffering ended sooner.

3

You're right, it should be our right when we are ready. For me, I don't want to miss anything. ?

2

My only problem is that it is a permanent solution to what is often only a temporary problem. Many people I know have taken that option, sometimes for only minor reasons. A teenage boy who has been dumped by his girlfriend for instance.

2

The ONLY feeling I have ever had regarding suicide in and of it's self, is the impotent feelings of those left behind...I have had suicides among my friends, and not to begrudge them, but wanted to dig the up and kick there ass, for giving surrendering....

2

It used to be very important to have as many members of the tribe live to the age of procreation, and contribute, to that, and the survival of the tribe. Hence the prohibition.

With 7+ billion on the planet now, obviously this is no longer a justification for much of anything.

I think implementing the "tradition" of saving a person's life means the saver is therefore responsible for the saved would quickly change all the stupidity of trying to stop suiciders.

2

I don't know about you but I want to hang on to this bag of protoplasm as long as I can.

balou Level 8 May 19, 2018

At least as long as I am viable as a functioning human, otherwise, let me outta here.

1

Life is a motherfucker, huh! What are you looking for, permission to off yourself? I can't do that but if you want a long distance friend, I can listen. I'm 70 and Vietnam era vet. Suppose I have PTSD, fuck it, kid, you can't depend on anyone but you. People who look for fairness in this world are always disappointed. Lemme know.

1

I am sure that there are circumstances in which I have not had to deal with in my life that may have an argument for justified suicide. A painful terminal illness for example. I’m not sure how many of you have actually experienced the feeling of truly wanting to commit the act. I’m not talking about suicidal ideation but actually planning out the act. For a brief moment you see clarity. Suicide doesn’t remove the pain, it just a passing it on to someone else. There are nearly 50,000 deaths in the United States alone each year due to suicide and the vast majority are from mental illness. If you don’t like your circumstances then change them. I read the other posts below. Choosing suicide to avoid a death by religious extremist accomplishes their goal. I would rather go down fighting. Be the architect of your own destiny. Whether we believe in a God or not we are here and there is meaning for each one. Your life is always worth living.

1

Agree

1

Nobody wants to die, especially religious people who are promised paradise. Why should they let a loved one go when they don't really want to themselves.

@SallyMc I was talking about the gereral population, especially religious people. Take for example my mom refuses to talk about end of this life situations and wants me to pick up the pieces after she passes cuz thats easier to think about for her.

1

I think it’s a good thing for society to discourage suicide, but I would imagine that if you’re in a bad enough condition to actually go through with it, it being against the law won’t stop you.

A mentally stable person would never commit suicide so I would suggest that psychological treatment could help them.

KenG Level 6 May 19, 2018

You are dead wrong. A mentally stable person CAN commit suicide. I understand most people here are from developed nations and have little idea about what goes on with the unlucky folks born into Africa and middle East. But, I for one, will rather gas myself with CO and doze off to death than let some religious extremist stone me to death.
So yes, there are situations when suicide is the only logical solution.

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