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How do people feel about people who are childless?

Do you think it is the case that very many people feel that it is a bad thing to not have any children? Do many people in our society feel it is bad, or perhaps simply sad or unfortunate, for a person or couple to never bear a child or adopt any?

AlasBabylon 8 May 19
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64 comments

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0

Oh jeebus! Is this even still a thing in the 21st century?

0

A child is for life, not just for Christmas (as the old RSPCA ad went!)

0

I think it is tremendous when people don't have children. My experience is that many people want babies, not children. There are also, certainly in Oz and UK, state payments for the children that are born. There are far too many people on the planet as it is, without another generation filled with no hope, despair and world governments that don't give a damn. I used to think eugenics was a bad idea. Now I am not too sure!

0

I can't speak for anyone else but I have to say I personally don't care what anyone else thinks about me and the way that I might live my life. The choice to have children, or not, is a personal one - and no business of anyone else's so they can get on with making their own lives how they want to live them and good luck no matter what they choose. And good luck to all the people who care about how others are choosing to live their lives, its another kind of life choice.

jacpod Level 8 June 22, 2018
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I think is is totally a personal decision. People can lead fulfilling lives with or without children and I don't think raising children is imperative to the human experience.

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It comes down to choice. Babies should be wanted, so someone who doesn't want or is ambivalent should not be making babies. Babies are an incredible time and money sponge. I have three daughters, two have babies. The third is the most nurturing of all of them, but doesn't want to have babies. She is the best auntie ever, and she is going to be taking care of her parents as we age. She is busy with her career, she is a volunteer with CASA, she is incredible. But she never wanted to have kids. I support her fully in her choices.

0

A lot of people give women who don't want to have children a hard time because they just unthinkingly accept what's been fed into their heads.

2

My youngest daughter grew up w several other girls from kindergarten. One married rather young, has 2 kids. Another had one, w her serious bf, who later left. Recently, another is married into a x-tian family, tho she's never been x-tian, no kids yet.
My daughter had a tubal, was it last summer?, deciding to never have any.
She threw a party to celebrate her choice, and not one of her closest friends came.!
I, personally, am a little sad, because I think she'd have been a wonderful mom, and her genes woulda been super to have passed along, and perhaps having a huge responsibility helps a person mature, sometimes.
It's always been her choice, and I've supported her. She really seems to have considered all the pros and cons
And it is her life.

"However, if I'd only known, I'd have had my grandkids first!"

@njoy_life_2 an oldie but a goody!

1

I’m fine with whatever people decide.

2

As a woman who does not have or want children, I can tell you that I have certainly gotten some shit in my life because of it. Especially from family. Apparently I am going to be an old maid. People think you are selfish, but it seems selfish to me to bring a child into this screwed up world for the sake of motherhood or passing along what are likely highly inferior genes. So... Yeah.

You do you, I had one kid more then I meant to so the world is balanced thanks to the twins, lol

1

It's none of my business....

1

I commend people who are self aware enough to know they don't want children. I'm sure they receive a lot of pressure from friends and family.

3

For some reason, it is an expectation that everyone either wants children or should have children. Unfortunately, many people thought it was a good idea, but they were lousy parents!

1

Fine. The world already has enough mouths to feed. I just hope that most chose childessness. To deeply want kids but be unable to can be heartbreaking.

Zster Level 8 May 20, 2018
0

Lucky dogs!

1

Doesn't make a difference. I don't define anyone by whether or not they have children, and I think it's awfully silly to do so.

1

Surely we can accept parents and childless people equally. We have 2 boys but that doesn't make be any better or worse or different than others. I love the old joke about the rhythm method of birth control, promoted by the Roman Church. "What do you call people who use the rhythm method?"
Parents!

2

I think there are many people who tend to see others who've made different life choices in a negative light.

4

should people being childless make me think anything about them?

5

I think many people get married and have kids because they feel that's the thing to do. And from my observations most people want kids because they want them for some purpose relating to them (save a relationship, force a relationship, I want to be a mommy-ie 'biological clock ticking', "I'm Catholic and must therefore reproduce more Catholics, etc) but nothing to do with the actual reality of providing for/nurturing a future adult.
I had 4 kids because I was young and dumb. I don't regret it. I love those window lickers!

"I think many people get married and have kids because they feel that's the thing to do"
Oh good lawd this ^^^ Watching the ones with no maternal instinct whatsoever is a study in idiocy.

I was a "clocker" and thought I'd be good at the mom thing. Which I was, but it was a lot harder than anyone can ever warn you. Like a dirty secret... you can't know until you're there.
Very grateful all the efforts I invested enriching my kid have been reflected in spades. They KNOW. Or at least mine does. I'm afraid to die for fear she'd be a basket case. We're very close and I'm so thankful for that.

1

Sometimes sad. I know a number of the kidless. some of them have accumulated "family" members of all ages. Others are feeling the emptiness.

And knowing some who have children of worthless value wish they were without.

I like idea of the cohabiting approaches: "retirement" homes that are full age range. These are good for those with children as well.

5

My oldest son and his wife decided back when they first met that they didn't want children. I never had a problem with their decision.

Having children is a huge responsibility. If you don't want the life-long commitment, you shouldn't have them.

2

They are less selfish.

1

By the time I was 13-14, I felt pity for women stuck in houses raising kids...women who didn't have their own paychecks and who couldn't just pick up and go somewhere on vacation if they had the whim to do so....or families who never had enough and were always struggling.

I still feel pity for women who think their "greatest accomplishment" is that a man shot some sperm into them and they pooped out a crotchmoppet.

An accomplishment would be being CEO or winning a Nobel prize....or becoming president of a first world nation.
Ask people what Hillary Clinton's greatest accomplishment and I bet, hands down, no one says "Chelsea". Duh. That should be proof enough that children are NOT an accomplishment.

Children are NOT a "miracle". That is bullshit propaganda spread by a patriarchal society to keep women in the house and under the control of men. Otherwise, there are 350,000 miracles a day.....LOL. Definitely NOT miracles....just a basic act of biology that even a stray cat has mastered. The prisons are full of those "little miracles" as are drug rehab centers...and homeless shelters.

Furthermore, on an overpopulated and dying planet....getting knocked up is a selfish, selfish, selfish choice. If we can't take care of the ones that are here --- from children to senior citizens --- how dare you breed more people?

Want to really do a "miracle"? Get involved in solving the problems facing the world...and REALLY make a difference.

There is a reason that the world is still pretty much run by men....and it's because women keep buying into the bullshit that they have to be factories in order to be "complete" women.

One or two kids is enough. My ex went back to work a year after their birth. We had good child-care and we learnt a lot about caring. In OZ you get more welfare benefits the more kids you have which I think is wrong because in many cases they do so to get the welfare payments.

@jules4169 where, or what, is OZ?

@MST3K it's slang for Australia

@cassiesue87 I have an opening for a new best friend. I'll send you an application. 😉 LOL Thank you for the note! not creepy or weird at all. Sometimes it's just nice to think "someone gets me!"

Much truth in your comments, yes!
I sincerely wish no one could have kids to they were at least 25, and could demonstrate that they had some sense.
That said, however, the old saying rings truest for me.
"If I'd only known, I'd have had my grandkids first."

1

I have not spent any valuable time in coming to a conclusion either way. My business it aint.

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