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How do people feel about people who are childless?

Do you think it is the case that very many people feel that it is a bad thing to not have any children? Do many people in our society feel it is bad, or perhaps simply sad or unfortunate, for a person or couple to never bear a child or adopt any?

AlasBabylon 8 May 19

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68 comments

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2

Bringing children into the world is a choice. Not bringing children into the world is a choice. That choice is up to the people involved and it is no one else's business. Too many children are born as a result of not thinking about the consequences of an act. Some of them are fortunate to have parents who, though surprised by the results of their passion, were delighted to have them. Sadly that doesn't happen very often. Sometimes it is an inconvenience for one or the other or perhaps both parents.

There are many possibilities, but I won't outline them all. Speaking to your specific question, yes, it is an issue for the majority of people in the world. It is how the species is preserved, and increasingly it is how numbers of members in various religions are bolstered. At one time it was important because lifespans were short, life was hard, and it was a matter of survival. Those conditions are long gone for most regions of the world. However, this idea that people should have children has carried over and is in force today as it was in centuries past.

The majority of the people in the world make the assumption that everyone should and will have children. This is largely because of the religions of the world, some worse than others, expecting their members to produce children like an assembly line that pumps out more and more obedient carriers of the flame. So, yes, most people think people who don't want children are somehow not normal, whatever that is, and that they need to be convinced to have them. I think this is a wrong mindset. That I think it is wrong does not change it. As in so many other things, it is something we need to outgrow, and I think I see some glimmering of hope that we are in the process of doing that now.

10

I'm not childless, I'm child-free. -less implies you're missing something you want. I've never wanted children.

My child-free ways are not as bad as they used to be, I used to say 'I'm sorry to hear that,' at pregnancy announcements. ?

Love your response to pregnancy announcements - lol, Probably not the most tactful response, but funny

I sometimes give pregnancy announcements my condolences. I do the same with marriage announcements.

Lol! I've got friends saying they want kids...my response...?

10

I think if you don't want children you should not have them. How tragic to be brought into the world when you're unwanted. I think everyone needs to make the responsible choice. Don't make babies unless you're sure you want them and can take care of them. I applaud any woman who makes the choice NOT to have children because she does not want them. She is doing what is best for her and the child. One of my girls is the greatest aunt ever, but does not want to have babies. She has never wanted to have babies. Her body, her life, her choice and I support her and every other woman making that choice. And for the guys, if you don't want to have children, make sure you're not spilling fertile seed.

great closing

8

I work in child welfare and I don't want people who don't want children to have them. It is a personal choice either way.

8

Religious people feel it is very "sinful" for a couple to choose childlessness. Non religious people, you get a variety of reactions.

SKH78 Level 8 May 19, 2018
7

I've never had children and I don't give a flying rat's ass what society thinks about that.
I think it's really none of anyone's business why someone doesn't have children.
To be honest, it's pretty messed up that some people think it's okay for them to comment
on what other people do (not referring to you-it feels like you have a reason behind your
question), regarding whether they have children.
There are far too many people who have no business being parents.
No one has any room to criticize those who aren't parents, regardless of the reasons.

totally agree with you

Thats my girl ??

❤ \m/ ❤

6

My oldest son and his wife decided back when they first met that they didn't want children. I never had a problem with their decision.

Having children is a huge responsibility. If you don't want the life-long commitment, you shouldn't have them.

6

Sometimes being childless is a choice. My best friend and her husband have been married 30 yrs and chose not to have children but are a mentor to my daughter and couldn't have more love to give. They chose to live a different life, and it's a beautiful one.

6

As a woman in my 20's and 30's, I was relentlessly pressured by people to have children. At work, at the gym, from family and friends. It was nonstop. But I was adamantly against having kids.

"You're so intelligent, we need your genes in the gene pool!" As if that's a good reason to have a child.

For five years, my husband and I couldn't agree about having kids. First one of us wanted kids; then we switched positions. We took parenting classes together.

"We have 12 years of YMCA program director experience between us," we said, skipping stones on the Icicle River. "Wouldn't this be fun to share with a child?"

During the 10 minutes we agreed, we conceived. Claire was born when I was 36 and Terry was 40.

I hope the ten minutes were enjoyable. Ha. How did it work out, did you enjoy the experience, did the marriage last, was the marriage better or worse after the child?

@Aquaeyes, that is a personal question that I refuse to answer. It's complicated.

@LiterateHiker so sorry I didn't want to upset you.

@Aquaeyes, Thank you. I prefer to focus on the positive.

For Mother's Day, Claire made this collage on her I-phone when she was 23. "Will you send me pictures of you and me together when I was growing up?" she asked.

I love it! This picture is framed and hanging on the wall.

6

I have 4 grown children and I love them dearly. I wouldn’t change my choice as I loved being their mom. But. Sometimes I think childless people are lucky. There’s a lot of heartache and heartbreak with kids. And they’re expensive.

6

I'm childless. Tho I've had a few 'instant' family situations in my time, & currently have 3 "step" grandkids, whom I love dearly, I was really never the father type, so just as well not to get in that situation.

5

As a woman who does not have or want children, I can tell you that I have certainly gotten some shit in my life because of it. Especially from family. Apparently I am going to be an old maid. People think you are selfish, but it seems selfish to me to bring a child into this screwed up world for the sake of motherhood or passing along what are likely highly inferior genes. So... Yeah.

You do you, I had one kid more then I meant to so the world is balanced thanks to the twins, lol

5

For some reason, it is an expectation that everyone either wants children or should have children. Unfortunately, many people thought it was a good idea, but they were lousy parents!

5

I think many people get married and have kids because they feel that's the thing to do. And from my observations most people want kids because they want them for some purpose relating to them (save a relationship, force a relationship, I want to be a mommy-ie 'biological clock ticking', "I'm Catholic and must therefore reproduce more Catholics, etc) but nothing to do with the actual reality of providing for/nurturing a future adult.
I had 4 kids because I was young and dumb. I don't regret it. I love those window lickers!

"I think many people get married and have kids because they feel that's the thing to do"
Oh good lawd this ^^^ Watching the ones with no maternal instinct whatsoever is a study in idiocy.

I was a "clocker" and thought I'd be good at the mom thing. Which I was, but it was a lot harder than anyone can ever warn you. Like a dirty secret... you can't know until you're there.
Very grateful all the efforts I invested enriching my kid have been reflected in spades. They KNOW. Or at least mine does. I'm afraid to die for fear she'd be a basket case. We're very close and I'm so thankful for that.

5

Societal norms (man, I hate those things) do pressure folks to have kids.
.
But have them or not, ain't none of my business.

5

I quite like being childless. There are lots of people who have children, and don't want them, or had a child to "fix" their marriage. I feel terribly for them.

5

I'm childless and I love it 🙂

5

I don’t have any children of my own. I remain close to my 2 step children, and their mom, after their dad died suddenly last year.
It has taken a while to shift my mindset from being unhappy I hadn’t had children to being thankful I don’t have children. At 45 I’m enjoying the freedom not having children has given my life now and planning my future plans.

5

I'm happily childless and am surprised when people express anger at my choice. I just don't get how it affects them to the point of anger.

They're not angry with your choice... they're angry with your happiness about it. I have no kids... by choice. I just don't tell people I'm happy about it, but (if they really want to know) that it was a choice.

4

should people being childless make me think anything about them?

4

I also think there is a strong argument for Zero, or Negative Population Growth, and some people purposely do not have children for the greater good of not contributing to the depletion of the Earth's resources. All the while, others (including religious zealots) are procreating like there's no tomorrow, which there may not be. Often these are the people who have no self-control over depleting resources. And the great irony is those with an intelligent plan for procreation (including not procreating) are probably the ones we DO want procreating... we will soon be outnumbered and outvoted by those who don't give a shit about the planet. This is a conundrum.

Dear Luna,
Agree. Zero Population growth just means having two kids who you give all your attention to and make sure they grow up as good human beings
When I travelled through OZ I saw a lot of neglected kids wondering the streets eating potato chips and drinking coke. Their parents were too drunk to bring them up and lived of welfare.

4

Some people don't want children, and that is their choice -- and mp one else's. It is not for others to judge.

4

I have no children and l feel great. I haven't seen anything that has made me regret my decision.

4

Not having biological children is doing the rest of us a favour as far as limited resources and pollution go. I consider it selfless these days. They should be rewarded.

4

It is not bad not to want children. It is sad if someone who wants children can't have any. Adoption sometimes works.

3

Some people do... they have a hard time understanding how a person can have a fulfilling life without them ... I actually get more backlash from saying that I don't want kids than I do when I tell people I'm an atheist

@Shelton usually I list all the reasons why I don't have any and that shuts them up ?

@Shelton true, but I find it entertaining lol

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