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30

Interesting that only 38% consider it a turn-off if their date is rude to waiting staff. Rudeness to waiting and shop staff is an immediate "Bye, don't ring me again" from me.

Jnei Level 8 May 25, 2018

Happened to me when I was in college. Total turnoff.

20

This "what women want" thing is a tired old trope. They're people! They want what people want! It's not so different from what men want. Sorry, didn't mean to rant at you there, I just get tired of that stuff.

ya done good !

One thing is clear: communication, in one form or another, is paramount.

@Faithless1 I think if you're honest and respectful on a date, and attempt to have a good time, that's all anybody needs.

8

My best advice to a man planning to date would be to ignore articles like this and actually bother to get to know the lady you find interesting. Find out what she likes, where her boundaries are, and if the two of you are even compatible. Even if you find her overwhelmingly sexually attractive, respect her space and wait until she's ready to take the relationship to that level. No pressuring.

Deb57 Level 8 May 25, 2018
5

On a first date, I would like for a man to share as much as he is comfortable with regarding his past, his belief system and his moral compass. I would hope he would not take himself too seriously (or me). I like to laugh and laugh often. Getting info is a way to decide if the relationship is worth going forward.

5

Oh that Match commercial where the woman says"Come find me" is so annoying. I'd rather watch a tampon commercial or paint dry.
The sexual peak ages was not a surprise. AARP did a study on the sexuality of 55 and over. Apparently we are hitting it out of the ballpark. Three times a week is the average. This age group is redefining relationships. Most couples live in separate dwellings. Enjoy their time away from their partner and make good use of their time together. We just aren't bragging. Although we should!

5

Of course.... All women are exactly the same.

Just turn me into a Stepford Wife now, and have done.

5

Overall, I agree with this. Though I'm over getting nervous, I try to have no expectations and just go with the flow !

4

I don't peak for 5.5 years, I'm behind the curve.

4

Heh. I would like someone to help weed the garden and then give me a foot rub while we watch Dr. Who reruns. A girl can dream, right? LOL

3

Every time I read one of these articles, it reaffirms my decision to just be done with
all this nonsense.

3

The insanity of "on-line" "dating."

How can a conversation begin if the expectations of immediate success preclude its starting?

I know using dating sites can help with filtering the ne’r-do-wells. Sorta like Manpower, and other employment agencies. But, most disturbing, they restrict the odd bumping into someone at a party, social event, museum, restaurant, where the first words are usually, “Hello.” "Do you come here often?" No profile, no history, no clarity of what is expected.

What is especially annoying is so many profiles start with “Read my profile and write something wonderful, or else, GO AWAY!”

I find that really attractive. What man wouldn't? Raise your hands to disagree.

Too many of these women are in a hurry. They expect all of the conversations that would happen in the workplace, social places,… over days, weeks, months, years, to be condensed into the first message, or else they do not respond.

How can a conversation begin if the expectations of immediate success preclude its starting?

I understand the urgency, especially at my age. But, hurriedness most often results in mistakes. And missed happinesses.

A simple, "Hello," is a reasonable opening move.

"Hello" as a first message is lame and lazy.

I figure if a man cannot muster enough cogent thought to write a personal message, there must not be much going on between his ears. Personally I think having a brain is a good idea.

Most/many cis hetero men don't even read women's profiles on dating websites..they just look for a photo of the youngest, prettiest, and often the blondest woman they can find, and shoot her a message of interest.

Most women prefer to be seen as actual people, and hopefully if a man did meet a woman in person he also would spend a bit of time getting to know who she is as a person, asking about her hobbies and discussing nonsexual mutual interests.

@LiterateHiker Exactly my point. "Hello" is a reasonable starting point. Sad you will miss all the good shy guys.

@Jacar, I'm not interested in shy, tongue-tied men. This was my kiss-off letter to a shy, withdrawn man:

July 25, 2016

Mike,

Upon further reflection, I believe we do not make a good match.

You had two opportunities to spend time with me- including a five-mile hike- and essentially said nothing. "I have always been quiet," you said. You appeared withdrawn, distant and a bit socially awkward.

Although I fed you three times, including preparing and packing your lunch for the hike, you never thanked me. This is a common courtesy.

I love wide-ranging conversations and witty banter. This afternoon I had a wonderful, hilarious, rollicking, hour-long conversation with a man from Seattle, with whom I have been talking for a month.

This is what I want in a relationship. Like me, Tim is an extrovert.

Good luck with your search.

Kathleen

3

Ugh...dating - whatever that is - looks like a chore.
Can we just go get some ice cream and hang out ?
91% happy with them picking up the bill ?
Dang. Me too !!. I love when someone else is paying the tab.

3

So.... If you went on a date with a 66 year old woman...gave her a bear hug or two and bought her one drink...she would statistically consider the night structurally sound? And on the next date the sex would be out of this world!
I'm guessing all of this is also dependent on whether or not you hit it off in the first place.

3

I think most people like to be liked for themselves, whether or not we get that depends upon who we are and who we are with. I really don't miss dating.

2

Women want to be turned on sexually by the man's vibes. intelligence, humor, nice smelling counts, too

2

Sounds like another generalization to me.

2

The article has a pathetic sampling basis, I would ignore it completely.

2

That Match.com survey makes sense. It's true for me, especially:

  1. Dating turnoffs. I would add posting old photos. Suddenly, my "hot date" has aged 10 years and gained 50 lbs.;
  2. What women like on a date; and
  3. Women reach their sexual peak around age 66.

All of this is true for me.

Finally... an open and alive answer without any hidden ..... I been hurt suggestions.[ I love the peek at 66].... all I've heard from others is that I'm set in my ways, I'm to old for that, maybe I will and maybe I won't type answers. Thanks!

2

Well, that's an important perspective. But it is, of course, just half the story. Reading through the article, yeah ok.

2

You may have well asked who designed the pyramids and why.
It's a mystery because with all the answers possible while you're on a date you're usually wrong.

1
1

Wow was there a LOT of lying on the survey about sex. Women reach their sexual peak in their mid 30's -- men at 18. By their 60's most women have passed menopause. This isn't necessarily a problem if they've been having sex on a regular basis, but if not it takes lots of lube and often hormonal treatments to reverse vaginal atrophy. Without treatment there is often pain, tearing, and a real aversion (which is sad because the new balance of testosterone and disappearing estrogen often tends to spur desire). A lot of men in their 60's are using Cialis or Viagra and for a lot of them the effect is only partial -- as in about half an erection. So from the physiological perspective, I'll quote Nora Ephron said when reading that someone said they were having their best sex in their 60's "What, are they on crack???"

ladyprof70s, Speak for yourself.

At age 50, I had 22 orgasms in two hours with a man.

I still have a high sex drive at 64. "You don't need extra lubrication," my last lover said. "You're wet enough."

Enough said.

@LiterateHiker Certainly there are unique individuals. i was quoting the academic research that polled thousands of individuals

@LiterateHiker your story about 22 orgasms was at 50, not 60....and, what needs to be said is that there IS NO NORMAL. Each woman is an individual.

1

Not sure...

1

I'm also very different than most

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