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In your relationships, does someone usually "wear the pants?"

Of course, relationships are give and take.

But, sometimes there is some who holds the reins and someone who just likes to come along for the ride.

Do you fall into one of these categories? Do you prefer someone who falls into the other?

silvereyes 8 Dec 19
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25 comments

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7

Happy wife, happy life. That answer your question?

Kidding aside, my wife and I are shoulder to shoulder. We've both been through enough shit to know to NOT major on the minors for the sake of a win. Ego is eventually displaced by other more important priorities. The success of our relationship has been hard-fought on both sides, so we treasure it. Fuck dominance; that's just selfish.

Agreed. A happy wife is a happy household

I hate that often used line. To me it says “my wife is not a team player, and is a bitch if she dies not get her way”.

@JohnGlass - I know too many wives that are indeed not team players...

7

In important decisions, I think a successful relationship needs to be an equal partnership. For less serious aspects, e.g., where to go for dinner or what to do this weekend, I'm happy to follow her lead more of the time — partly because I'm not especially exciting or spontaneous or inventive. If it were strictly up to me, every weekend would be spent sleeping late, wasting remaining hours, and never leaving the house unless absolutely necessary.

5

Despite my best efforts, my cats continue to run the show

5

My wife and I take turns although I"m never quite sure of that 😛

5

People tend to have more and less dominant personalities. It's nice, IMO, when a couple are closely matched onthat score, but it seems more often one is dominent, but that can be either the man or the woman. A man can wear a kilt, of course, but I digress.

Even though I'm gay, I was married to a woman for 25 years--gotta love cultural pressure and indoctrination. --OK, I guess I'm one of those 70/30 gays, not the kind that is totally allergic to women. 😉 My wife was much more pushy and blunt in personality, and still to this day doesn't like to ever acknowledge being wrong (ask her parents!). I was more the conflict avoidant personality. On this discussion sight, I like to pick things apart, but in real life I'm rather a peacemaker and not "a pants wearer." 🙂

5

It really all depends on whether they own any pants.

4

I prefer equality, but I'm so stupidly accommodating that people can take advantage of that. I need to find a way to balance that. (Or maybe just find better women)

2

No. I strongly prefer an equal partnership, which might involve one partner leading, but who that is depends on the time and circumstance. I'll hand the reins over or hold them myself sometimes.

Zster Level 8 Dec 20, 2017
2

I like equality myself.

2

I prefer to have a partnership, but seem to find myself with more submissive people. Maybe why I’m still single.

2

No, even Underwear is Optional!

2

I think relationships should be 50/50 down the line, though not many are......I don't care to be the ''boss'', but don't want to be bossed around either. Unfortunately, my present situation has forced things to become something I'm not at all used to,and therefore difficult to deal with. Wait, was that too much? lol

1

In my opinion, in 'Murican' society the man is expected to wear the pants BUT realistically it's a shared deal by whoever is best at bat at the time.

SamL Level 7 Dec 20, 2017
1

I think my natural inclination is to settle into comfortable traditional roles, probably because that is how I was raised, but experience has taught me that too much one-sidedness in this area can undermine long-term stability. All voices need to be heard and respected. But this is a double-edged sword; it not only means that each person needs to respect the other person’s wishes, but also that each person has the responsibility to let their wishes be known.

skado Level 9 Dec 20, 2017
1

#freudianimplications

1

Ideally both of us, but being honest I often cave to keep the peace.

1

I’m normally trying trying to get her out if hers. Lol

1

I prefer it if nobody is wearing pants in my relationships. It's been a few years since I was in one though.

Yeah I made a double entendre.

1

I like to see my partner take the reins. I had to in my first marriage and never did it again.

1

Well ... I'm depraved - seriously BDSM-inclined - and 'wearering of the pants' is one of the major, major issues that drives that style relationship along.

And yes, in BDSM relationships, I am the 'dominant'.

1

I guess from my past relationships the men wore the pants. I want in my future relationship to have us both be equally wearing the pants.

1

Me...Watch "Milton singing "The Man Song" by Sean Morey" on YouTube

Adefinite classic and a fave! Funny stuff!

1

Always me...

1

I do

1

I do but mainly because the one who is more experienced, level headed and intelligent should be the alpha. Now in my case ithas worked out to be me every time but if i ever meet a woman with those qualities greater than mine I'd be glad to hand over the major responsibilities.

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