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For those of us who are single, do you enjoy your singleness?

By HippieChick589
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30 comments

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7

Presently eating crackers in bed and no one can kick me out.

5

Good question. I’d not lived alone until a year & a half ago. At first, something didn’t seem right … so I searched for ‘her.’ New to a small rural town, seems I’ve already given up looking close to home.

But with that, I’m beginning to like it.. No wife, children, pets or in laws, I definitely feel free. So yes, ‘I’m enjoying it’ ..between tears ~

Varn Level 8 Dec 20, 2017
4

I was married a very long time ago. I've had a few relationships- but I have been alone for a few years. Being a hermit is VERY depressing. I have many interests; I am very healthy- but I can't seem to make a connection.------ But thinking back to my marriage- and the non-stop fighting- hell, I would take being a hermit forever over that.

Diogenes Level 7 Dec 21, 2017
4

Yes, I do enjoy my singleness.

4

I have been single for too long and am now just lonely and tired of it. Unfortunately, I don't know what to do about it, I am 40 and don't drink or enjoy bars or large crowds.

icolan Level 7 Dec 20, 2017

You are still young. Try a dating site. They are not for everyone, but it might help.

Bars are kind of depressing. I did the bar scene when I was young. Most of it was boring. If you want to meet intellectuals, then you do classes, volunteer work and find meetups.

@balou, I have tried several dating sites and seem to be very good at attracting people from the other side of the country or planet, not so well at finding people within a reasonable distance of my home.

@SusanHilde, I am taking classes, but am significantly older than most of the other students at the university. I have been looking for meetups, but there are not any for LGBT folks that meet with any reliability in my area, I am still looking though. I have been thinking about volunteer work and am trying to find the time.

Thank you both for your advice.

3

I think being single is fine. Some coupled people are happy, others are not. Some singles are happy, others are not. If you think being single is bad, then you will feel "less than." It is all in your attitude.

SKH78 Level 7 Dec 20, 2017
3

For the most part. You can do whatever you want and not have to answer to anyone. However, you do get lonely.

balou Level 8 Dec 20, 2017
2

In a weird sort of way "friends with benefits" makes more sense when you're in your 50's then when I was in my 20's. This allows the benefits of being single and doing what you want most of the time and when needed you have that part-time relationship to lean on.

Darthpug Level 7 Dec 21, 2017
2

I've been single for a long, long time, and it's not bad at all. I know some people disagree and feel like being single for very long is torture, whether because they need companionship or desire sex, but I haven't felt that need to be "coupled" in ages. I'm not opposed to having a relationship, in whatever form it might take, but I'm absolutely fine being single and in a lot of ways I prefer having nobody to check in with, to be responsible to (or for). There's a certain freedom in being single.

resserts Level 8 Dec 21, 2017
2

I enjoy some aspects of beign single. My life is generally uncomplicated, and I generally don't have to consider others in deciding what I want or what I am going to do.

On the other hand, I think there is a lot of truth to the old Chinese proverb, "Sorrow shared ishalf the sorrow. Joy shared is twice the joy."

Being single, I have to live with myself daily, so I try to make changes to make myself a better person in my own eyes. In the end, seeing myself as a good person and feeling good about who I am makes me generally happier and does, I believe,make me more attractive to others.

snytiger6 Level 9 Dec 21, 2017
2

I think I am "resigned" to being single. I would like a companion at times, someone to hang with and help with living expenses, and the physical aspects. However, I like my solitary activities as well, I can spend hours daily reading, or sewing, or other stuff that can't be easily shared. I know I'd rather be single and content than yoked and miserable.

I like you. Could you elaborate on 'the physical aspects'.

El-loco, if I have to spell it out...

2

Yes. I WOULD like someone to date casually in a queer platonic way, that is, someone with whom to meet for the occasional dinner, play or coffee. But I am ace and aro and quite comfortably so, thus not interested in a relationship.

BookDeath Level 8 Dec 21, 2017

Aro is aromantic, right. If you want a good definition/discussion of all these terms, check out several of the threads at the main ace website: asexuality.org. It's an invaluable resource for all those who are on the ace "spectrum" or who are interested in finding out more. Also Has good info about gender and aromanticism. An all-around excellent site.

2

No, after my husband died i went through a stage of self reflection and grief for years. I had to be brutally honest with myself. I lost a lot of myself in the 22 year marriage. I also realized being happily alone and doing my own thing has a rather short life span. Life is hard, and finding a helpmate to share it with is healthy. The desire to be loved is part of the human experience, and something we all long for. While it does not have to be a romantic partnership, the human animal needs a connection to others.

Kojaksmom Level 8 Dec 21, 2017

I hear you. My boyfriend died of a heart attack in mid 90's, only 53 years old. I have not made an attempt to find another mate - would like to, but I would be comparing every guy to him. But it would be nice to have someone to have dinner with once a month and have intellectual conversation. I might do a bit of looking.

2

I do, actually.

Maya405 Level 7 Dec 21, 2017
2

For the most part, yes. It’s very rare but once in a while I miss having someone around. Then I remember the Hell one pays for those rare times and it goes away.

rainmanjr Level 7 Dec 21, 2017
2

It depends on a lot of things like personality and circumstances. In my adult life I have been alone some 17 years. Also, married twice and a couple of relationships in between. My personality type tends toward independence and 2 difficult relationships confirmed that. The late, last relationship was the best of both worlds. Any given year she was gone, off and on, some 3 months a year. We both liked that situation and were true partners in every sense of the way. After that it's no fun being totally alone again.

2

I did for a long time but now I'm just lonely. I'm tired if being lonely.

1

I'm not single, but I'll answer anyway since I was single for 15 years. While I was single I met lots of people, and tried a lot of new things. I had a great time and was really happy. With that said, I'm very happy being married too.

1

60 years old and I've been single for more than 10 years. I was married for about 20 years to a good woman, and about 6 years to a woman who cured me of ever wanting to be married again. I'm retired and live on a farm. I keep myself cheerfully busy and do most of my farm work alone. I miss having someone to chat with and care about, but I don't like to fight and I don't like to be coerced and manipulated so I I'm a little extra careful with relationships.

1

Yes and no. I would rather be single than be in a bad relationship. There are times that I miss having a significant other around. I have lived alone for so long and i kind of like my freedom and I think it would be very difficult to adjust to having someone living with me.

noworry28 Level 7 Dec 21, 2017
1

It has its good points - it has its bad points.

ToakReon Level 7 Dec 21, 2017
1

mostly yes

1

Moat of the time but enjoy the company of others. Just don't want them to move in loll

1

I was Born SIngle. Living without Compromise. Not having to explain my decisions. But I Recognize that We Need A Witness To Our Life. Once I found a Soul Match and We Postponed getting together until the Right TIme. We determined may not be in this Life. Not a Problem, Finding that Soul Mate is also Scary... Is the End of the Hunt. What if crossing the finish line is not that exciting? What then? My Mate will arrive with me but I may not be ready. And Yet Finding the One Have to be My Goal since I tried to prepare for that moment since I remember laying eyes on a Girl. Single Until Then Because She Will Know What Buttons to Push and What Makes Me Tick and Happy!!!! ...And I Should Be Likewise To Her!!!! ...Do I Deserve A Witness To My Life?

1

Most of the time I rather like it. Little things I miss, keeping the place cleaner and not smoking tobacco. I've smoked since I was a boy so it's an old friend all the older wise guys knew about. Haunts me if I'm single over a year.

FynTul Level 6 Dec 21, 2017
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