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Casual relationship

A casual relationship where both parties are expected to be monogamous. What would you call that??

ashortbeauty 8 May 31
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84 comments

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1

Is it a new relationship or have they been together for awhile?

For a while

@ashortbeauty if they both are happy in the situation. Then it doesn’t really matter.

@Neeooo420 one's questioning and not completely contento

@ashortbeauty Maybe it's time to get out?

@Neeooo420 possibly

@ashortbeauty It’s tough to just walk away from a relationship though. If you’re in love. That old heart won’t allow you to give up so easily lol.

@Neeooo420 it can be, yes

5

I would call that a temporary position which will either evolve into a committed relationship or end/become un-monogamous in time.

It's a 'lets give this a go and see where we wind up' position, but not stable in its current form.

True on the not stable part. I think that's what bugs me. I'm a yes or no person

@ashortbeauty I could, of course, crack an inappropriate joke about stable relationships and girls who love horses - but I won't ... ?

@ToakReon dork

@ToakReon praise gawd!

Hmm ... Was that joke offensive ...?

@ToakReon I am going to jump in here and say that I don't know the joke (not sure I want to 😕) but I am impressed that you at least asked. Just sayin.

8

Not really that casual. But also, kinda awesome. Like go away, I only want to see you once or twice a month, but when I do, we have mindblowing sex, great conversation, and then go back to our lives, while neither of us is out getting STDs to pass on to the other next time. I could do that.

I love this!

@Freespirit64 I tried this once with a guy, only I didn't even care if he had sex as long as he used protection. You'd think he'd love it right? Nope. Wanted more. I didn't. Bummer.

Well alrighty... that's what my HR lady told me she wanted. Just don't stare at her at work...

@BucketlistBob I'm literally laughing out loud. I never use LOL but like I AM. Don't stare at her at work!!!! Hmm...now I'm wondering. Cuz somebody might notice, or cuz SHE might notice and get all flustery and ...

@Jenmcjen thank you for laughing. That's what I wanted you to do. You know I'm just kidding though. Our rules at work were serious. Sexual harrassment was 6 tests and 6 hours of lectures. You had to get 100% to pass. Hmmm.... I really know some stuff when it comes to managing employees and keeping a stress free environment at work. I said this because the HR lady got drunk at a Christmas party and she cut loose. We found her passed out on the floor. She danced with a lot of hourly employees and some got way to close and she kept going like it was nothing. I guess she let her wild side of her come out to play. Whew! I mostly observed in fear for both her and them. But you know... people do get silly and have fun. I have bartender at parties. And got bumped in the butt many times. It felt like a grab though. You got to ask yourself that important question... whose going to tell on you if you start getting crazy..lol.

3

Exclusive companionship is what I had for almost 2 years.

And how did it end? You leaving or her?

@ashortbeauty She left because I broke the rules of falling in love with her. WTF

@TheLiberalGent gotcha

3

Not my cup of tea. But I don't do monogamy or casual. To each their own.

I am monogamous but not usually casual. That's the part that's throwing me

@ashortbeauty I agree! “Casual” sounds like either one of you can replace the other at a whim!

@ashortbeauty it's certainly a strange phrase.

1

I would call it my kind of relationship. That has been what most of my relationships have been, what I prefer and still look for to this day.

I'm hearing that from a lot of males...

@ashortbeauty If you read my profile you will see that I stated my position right up front for all to see.

@jlynn37 I know

@ashortbeauty Thank you.

2

Being exclusive does not mean a committed relationship. You are not sleeping with other people.

For three years, I jokingly called a man "my f-ck buddy." Neither of us were sleeping with anyone else. To my surprise, he asked me to marry him. Although he was an extraordinary lover, I don't consider him marriage material.

not?

I have never had one of those! I have the other kind, the "no fuck buddy!" We can do anything but have an intimate relationship: dinner, movie, hike, conversation, but don't touch.

5

It sounds like it's not casual.

That's my thought but he Just used those words last night

@ashortbeauty I don't consider a monogamous relationship to be casual. To me, casual would be "just dating," or being in a more open relationship where you are both free to see other people. Not advocating for or against. That's just what I think.

@IAMGROOT what you think is what I was looking for. Ty

6

Not too casual .

So just a tad beyond casual?

@ashortbeauty I think so.

8

Surely that’s a contradiction? If the relationship requires monogamy then it is not, by definition, casual. Sounds like one party wants to have their cake and eat it.

I think you can be casual but committed. Casual to me just means not making serious future plans and not being too upset when a busy schedule means you may not see each other for a while. Just enjoying the time you have together when you have it without focusing on what's next.

Love your username, btw

@ghost_warlock then you're dating

6

Nothing based in reality.

My thoughts

We finally find a disagreement. Everything based in reality. IMHO

4

A really good idea if that's what you both want and agreed on.

And if not what both want?

@ashortbeauty Compromise if can. If you've reached an impasse where one is saying I have to have this and the other is saying I can't do it then that's an answer too.

5

Does it need a title so long as both parties understand it?

I think one party doesn't quite understand it

@ashortbeauty

Clear communication is the answer. Easier said than done however.

1

Marriage is unatural. I researched years ago about it as a Reproductive Health Educator out of Chicago, my first occupation out of College. I recall that a judge and an attorney came up with this thing called marriage all in the name of $$$. They knew that the average couple would remain together for only a few years and part ways. Think about it; to to go hire a stranger , a lawyer and pay big money to part ways in front of another stranger called a judge, is big BUSINESS! When I speak of unatural, it’s something man made. Marriage doesn’t grow on trees or originate from seeds. What’s natural? Examples are: sex, eating, bowel moment, speaking, breathing, emotions, walking, seeing, etc. What are your thoughts about humans being monogamous or polygamous; marriage being natural or unnatural?
RawLuv ❤️

What does any of that have to do with the question?

It isn't relevant to the question, but every culture that's been found by anthropologists has some form of marriage. It's often not monogamous and may be polyandrous or polygamous, but there's a ceremony and recognition by the rest of the group

3

"I get a little bit 'Genghis Khan'
"Don't want you to get it on
"With nobody else but meeeeeee..."

"Exclusive FWB". Someone wants STD-free sex without heavy feels. Something I once wanted in my life. Couldn't find a guy who didn't want the feels. Ugh. Humans.

6

How casual is anything that has expectations of exclusivity? Christian Dating?

Good point

0

A monogamous casual relationship?

I meant a different way to think of it

1

"Casual sex" defined by Urban Dictionary:

Having sexual contact with another person with no plans on furthering a long term/committed relationship with that person.

I had casual sex with him/her because I needed sexual gratification and nothing more.
by hmm February 06, 2004

Interesting, but I would point out, that the topic says casual relationship, not casual sex...
Still interesting tho.

4

Romantic illusion

Hmm

1

From years of experience I'd call it marriage.

Ya think? Cause I don't recall seeing no judge lol

2

A relationship "To be mutually expected not to label and possibly to keep private between the two". It's a silent voice against the social norms, it's a position of certainty through some uncertainty, unidentifiability, it's a position of less friction, minimum restriction and if executed educatedly and mindfully, a total freedom and pure love, which doesn't draw any obligation, as not required between two trustworthy, responsible and sensible adults. But if not done properly, it can be a control freak show and manipulation and humiliation.

Well put

2

I've never heard of it and don't think it has a term.

I would have to say though that if I was interested in a person enough to want them to be monogamous, I'd probably want something more than casual.

Agreed

2

Odd way to look at things. Casual to the person who said this must mean we get it on when we get it on and when apart there's no messing around. Weird oxymoron there. I think that 'casual' to most people means 'no restrictions', yet the 'monogamous' part is a restriction.

4

A relationship. Every relationship should be discussed and you should both have an understanding of the expectations and be able to agree on them. If you don't, it's not a relationship yet, just a negotiation.

4

I would call it non-committal. If you’re cool with that, so be it. If you’re not, time to move on.

I hear ya

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