My oldest just finished her freshman year at college. It really helped me that I could text her....she even replied! Lol. When I was in college I called home once a week, I can’t imagine!
I also got divorced last year and my youngest (17, junior in HS) blames me so she lives with her dad. I feel like I lost them both at the same time. But again she and I text and saw each other 2-3 times a week.
Although I miss them, I do love being on my own. This is the first time in my life I’ve lived alone!
How I always been since a child allow me to live my life today as I do. I enjoyed myself as a kid playing alone. Didn't needed an audience or companionship. Yet, very friendly and a hoot to be around. I learned to amuse myself and still do. When I need female companionship an ex gf will do fine. I write poetry and songs in english and spanish with dancing a recurring theme and subject. No reason to be bored but I admit a witness to my life will be nice to have. Love to be alone, left to my own devices. When feeling lonely... no biggie... I go dancing... salsa, swing, blues, jazz... I can do anything but listening to rap or any derivate. A man that dances is only alone when he wants to and knows that nobody ever feel lonely in the dance floor. Capable of returning to do art or once again attempt to learn a musical instrument. A lot of hobbies of the past discarded including sports. Do not watch tv. Anything with violence do not attract me. I recommend you new hobbies or old hobbies. Dancing is the most underrated activity we humans ignore on a daily basis. I got 2 girls and a boy. The 2 girls been musicians.... and of course the boy dances in a company in Vegas so I am relieved that they will carry me after I die, their mother bag was athletics and one of the girls do art too. I gave my children to the world and to life that is how I accept them now, but I lived with each as an adult not to feel guilty now. Find your new niche and embrace it. About the lonely, I recommend you Dancing. Good Luck with your empty nest but remember is not empty if you are there even if is a lot quiet than before. I already know you love yourself so is a matter of minor adjustments.
For my kids it was "can I help you pack?." My kids were ready, I was ready. I love my kids, they are interesting and good people. I was really ready to see them take that step and I really didn't dread it. Partly because I had my own stuff going on with my marriage. Maybe it has something to do with not having a mother after I was 15, and my step mother made sure I knew she was ready for me to go. I saw their leaving as part of the journey that has to be taken. It's exciting, lets see what next adventure is coming!
I'm not quite an empty nester. Hell, I'm not even close. My nearly 26 year old is home too. LOL! But I'd say that being alone and dealing with that kind of life-change would be much more difficult. Especially if you are retired and don't have anything going on (no volunteerism or other social activity/friends). Seems to me it would be easier and a mixture of happiness at regaining the freedom to do what you want, when you want, etc.; and sadness, because you'll miss having your kids around every day, regardless of what a pain in the ass they may have been. =]
Don't do what I did/do. Somehow I seem to end up with other kids, and each time I think it is over, another pops up from somewhere/ Now the previous generation has kids of their own, and already they seem to visit. My foster son is away with his business this week, guess who got a call to watch his young nephew play soccer tomorrow? I hate sports, don't like the kids father and now will be stuck with him for a few hours. I think empty nest sounds good.
First, figure out what you like to do or who you want to be and go for it. I've always had projects and hobbies, I like to be busy. My empty nest coincided with divorce and reentry into the workforce, followed by unemployment. It was a rough time for me, but a time of personal growth. It is what pushed me away from religion to the understanding there is no good god looking out for us. It made me much stronger,and I'm thankful for it. The empty nest will be what you make of it. For me it was exciting to see my kids forge lives for themselves and become the wonderful young women that they are.
id love to know when i get to try that i fucked up lol my kids want me and my grands visit all the time and my great grands too and there is a shit ton of them ... i regret i wasnt a good life manager i bought kids instead of a house and now without them not sure what id do