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Reasons to Remain Single

"Anyone who lives alone and manifests no longing to be in a relationship is – in our times – almost automatically (though more or less secretly) viewed as both pitiable and deeply troubled. It’s simply not thought possible to be at once alone and normal."

I've been single by choice for 8 years and have very much enjoyed it. I don't consider myself ill-suited for commitment. I just like being able to do my own thing.

These years of singleness have been a necessary season and the first time in my adult life that I've been in a situation where I'm not always having to think of someone else's needs and putting my own on the back burner.

Someday I may be in a committed relationship again, but it won't be because I'm lonely or succumbed to societal pressure. IMO, when people are looking for a partner for those reasons, they tend to make compatibility compromises they'll later regret.

If you're single, do you enjoy it? If so, why? If not, why?

VictoriaNotes 9 June 2
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40 comments (26 - 40)

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0

Single is best. I am an artist, musician and sporty pescetarian. I would find it difficult to meet someone right. I don't smoke, or drink wine or spirits. I simply drink some beer. My house faces south. So, I have wonderful light throughout the day. Windows open all day. I know people that wouldn't like somethlngs I do. I don't want "work".

0

I can sleep like a starfish

Xena Level 6 June 10, 2018
1

I don't have to share the remote control

1

I see the logic in it, but emotionally I guess I'm nostalgic. Plus, jumping from relationship to relationship is rough on my psyche.

1

Yes. I do enjoy doing as I like. I would very much love the occasional dinner date or companion to go to a movie. Or, after enough time has passed and trust developed, a friend with "benefits." But I am not eager to open up my home and hand over my heart again.

Deb57 Level 8 June 7, 2018
2

I've been single since I separated from my 2nd wife in 2006. The toxicity in the marital home because of her children made living there any longer impossible.
In all this time since, I have yet to find out what's so great about being single. I'm not egotistical enough that I have to have things my way all the time. Now I choose not to remarry for various reasons that are not related to fear of commitment. If the circumstances were right, I'd remarry in a heartbeat. I quite enjoy being in a loving committed relationship with an intelligent non-selfish caring attractive woman. I miss the cuddling on the sofa watching a movie. I love the scent of a woman with good hygiene. I miss intimacy. I miss waking up in the morning with her in my arms and that she desires and craves those feelings as much as I do. Life is meant to be shared, in my humble opinion. To me, I don't see the point in doing so many things if I don't have anyone to share them with. So I've been single now for over 12 years, but it's not by choice. It's been the lack of not finding the right woman who desires to share her life and be adored by a tender loving man who cares deeply about her and is diligent about the importance of allowing her the alone times that everyone needs occasionally, but NOT 100% of the time. Sexual compatibility and attitudes about intimacy will make or break any good relationship so both partners should remain having an open mind. Compromise is key to a good relationship with neither one feeling like they have to have everything their way, cause I certainly don't feel that way. In summary, I can live quite content being alone, I just don't desire to.

3

Yup. Me, too. I've been single since 2010 and it's been GREAT.

3

I am in a relationship but feel nicely single - Its not that I want anyone else its just that we get along okay in our own way we see each other at dinner time 1.00.p.m then talk a bit then leave nad get together again to watch a film or series from 7.pm to 9 p.m - we don't do coupley things together,we just enjoy each other when we see each other.

2

I'm single by choice for the most part. I do enjoy it for most part. However, I do want find a special someone to spend the rest of life with. No matter what there gender might be. That one of the reasons I'm on this website.

2

I am happily single. I was married for 34 years, raised a family and lost my wife to a brain tumor. I have no desire to marry, co-habitate, go steady or be in a serious (emotional) relationship. I made this very clear back when I was on dating sites, but the message made things difficult.

2

Probably best to experience both, jumping from relationship to relationship because you're afraid to be alone isn't better than being single out of fear of intimacy. I was single for a few years and made an informed choice that I wanted to be in a nuclear family and was willing to make the compromises that demanded.

0

Sometimes l do, sometimes l don't.

2

I like reading everyone's encouraging thoughts on being single - so please keep them coming. I am not yet feeling it and I want to

1

I was married for 25 years. I'm separated now. One of the really nicest things I enjoy about being single is reading in bed at night, with some music playing too! On a different but related issue, what about the MGTOW guys who have renounced relationships with women? Between Incels and MGTOWs, it's becoming a strange world.

1

great clip, especially the visuals 🙂

after having entered into one relationship after the other for 35 years with overlaps more often than not, & often having felt abandoned, ill-treated or lonely, i have been living a solitary life now for the past 12 years - & i like it. there are moments, mostly towards the end of a day, when i feel lonely. i occasionally experience a lack of physical attention & affection (not necessarily sex), & i realize that the company of another can widen my horizon & challenge my courage more than i can do myself. all these little shortcomings aren't sufficient yet to have me craving a relationship. if it happens, my mind, my arms & my heart are open, but i'd rather that he keeps his personal space & i'll have mine 🙂

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