By Andy Borowitz
February 4, 2020
TALLAHASSEE, Florida (The Borowitz Report)—Calling the delay in the release of the Iowa caucus results “a threat to democracy,” the state of Florida has offered to help Iowa with the vote-counting process.
Harland Dorrinson, a spokesman for Florida’s official electoral commission, said on Tuesday morning that “Florida stands ready and willing to restore credibility to Iowa’s vote-tabulation procedures.”
Dorrinson added that Katherine Harris, Florida’s former secretary of state, was eager to “roll up her sleeves and clean up Iowa’s mess.”
“Just say the word, Iowa, and Katherine Harris will be on the next plane out,” he said.
For their part, Iowa Democratic Party officials said that they were already making great progress in counting the caucus results, and that early returns indicated that a white person had won.
Iowa is always an undemocratic clusterfuck and shouldn’t be first!
@altschmerz She was a disgusting bigot!
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Posted by HippieChick58Donnie thinks he had every right to interfere with the 2020 election
Posted by KilltheskyfairyHappy Labor Day!
Posted by KilltheskyfairyHappy Labor Day!
Posted by KilltheskyfairyHappy Labor Day!
Posted by KilltheskyfairyHappy Labor Day!
Posted by KilltheskyfairyHappy Labor Day!
Posted by KilltheskyfairyHappy Labor Day!
Posted by KilltheskyfairyHappy Labor Day!
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Posted by KilltheskyfairyCorporate greed!
Posted by KilltheskyfairyCorporate greed!
Posted by KilltheskyfairyCorporate greed!