Jeff Bezos Stepping Down as Amazon’s CEO

Amazon announced Tuesday that founder and CEO Jeff Bezos will be stepping down from the top spot in the company and transitioning into the role of “Executive Chair” of the company's board.

Now, wait a minute! I just purchased the new “Executive Chair” from Amazon Prime only yesterday. I wonder if that means that Jeff Bezos is gonna show up at my doorstep in just two business days? Why, I’ll have to instruct my Alexa door lock to let him in.

Funny, I was thinking Bezos probably stepped down to “spend more time with his family,” but then I remembered - hell, he dumped them all for former LA TV News anchor Lauren Sánchez, over a year ago. Of course, it’s well known how much Bezos hates unions, so maybe he just got divorced because he realized “marriage is a union.”

Anyway, one thing’s for certain, he sure didn’t leave over a salary dispute. Now, for all of you who are deeply concerned over how he’ll be manage to make ends meet - no need to worry. He’ll still make billions and billions of dollars. Only now, after stepping down - he’ll no longer need to pretend he’s actually been working to earn all that money.

[johnnyrobish.medium.com]