Arizona GOP Gubernatorial Candidate Proposes Different Tiers for US Citizenship

Kari Lake, the MAGA Republican candidate for governor of Arizona, is proposing that the US implement a two-tiered citizenship system, whereby the people who do not believe the 2020 election was stolen, should lose their status as full Americans - harkening back to the days of the 1787 “Three-Fifths Compromise.”

Gee willikers, if I’m reading this correctly, it sounds like she wants citizenship to become sort of like a “subscription service.” Now, my first thought was, “this woman is completely insane.” Which, of course, makes her the perfect person to run as a Republican. Then I remembered that I had better show some respect. After all, the way things are going, she'll be the next Governor of Arizona.

Fact is, Kari Lake is considered a hard-core MAGA sycophant, with endorsements from the likes of Michael Flynn, Paul Gosar, Mike Lindell, and Donald Trump himself. Meanwhile, a few sane citizens in Arizona are begging people to vote for anyone, as long as it isn’t Kari Lake. They don’t care if it’s Lake Erie, Veronica Lake, Rikki Lake, or even Emerson, Lake, and Palmer. Otherwise, we may as well just all “jump in the Lake.”

Of course, some of you may ask “What the hell is a ‘Kari Lake’ anyway? Well, the dictionary says “a Kari Lake contains a much greater volume of bullshit, than does a Kari Pond or Kari Creek.” Others may ask, “why does there seem to be so many crazed lunatics running for office in Arizona?” Well, not being a psychiatrist, I can’t say for sure, but my guess is that it may have something to do with “the dry hate.”

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