Agnostic.com
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The Man Rules

Here are the rules from the male side.
These are all numbered "1 "
ON PURPOSE!

  1. Men are NOT mind readers.

  2. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl If it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

  3. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.

  4. Crying is blackmail.

  5. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
    Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work!
    Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!

  6. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers
    to almost every question.

  7. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it.
    That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.

  8. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.

  9. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask us.

  10. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

  11. You can either ask us to do something, Or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

  12. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials.

  13. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

  14. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.

  15. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.

  16. If we ask what is wrong
    and you say "nothing, "We will act like nothing's wrong.
    We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

  17. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

  18. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine...
    Really .

  19. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball or golf.

  20. You have enough clothes.

  21. You have too many shoes.

  22. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

  23. Thank you for reading this.Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;
    But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.

Lincoln55 8 July 18
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10 comments

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1

3: I am not into sports. I like exploring on Sundays. I am already 60 and still have lots to see and do.
9: if you feel you are fat, I probably am too so lets work on it together.
13: Columbus (Colon) didn't ask for directions, he bought them for 2 boatloads of dark haired women and a rhubarb plant. The rhubarb plant has been tended and passed down in my family for ages and part of the clump brought to the US over a hundred years ago.
19: Some of us are not into sports, you can find other ways to get our attention
20: if she feels that she does not have enough clothes she probably hasn't found something she is comfortable in yet. Buy her something see-through and a tee shirt that says "I am with stupid". Odds are that she will wear the "I am with stupid" tee shirt a lot.
21: if she feels that she has too many shoes, take her for a walk in Diamond Head State Park in Oahu, then a walk on the beach before finding a nice dinner. Then you can buy her some sandals. See if she asks for shoes again walking beside you with her "I am with stupid" tee shirt.

Fartwink Level 5 July 13, 2020
0

I'm sure this is a joke but if you would like a detailed rebuttal I'm game!

RaeGriest Level 4 July 19, 2018

No joke. Legit AF.

0

Are these rules or suggestions?

Eirteacher Level 7 July 19, 2018
0

It sounds fairly accurate, but I have little or no interest in most sports

zorialoki Level 8 July 18, 2018
0

Yoooo!

MrChange Level 7 July 18, 2018
1

loved this post maybe best thing seen on this site lmao

5
2

LMAO!!! Love it!

Krysia22 Level 7 July 18, 2018
3

Why is it,Women can describe what your and she wore on your first date,and I can't tell you my breakfast from yesterday?

Mike1947 Level 7 July 18, 2018

we remember stuff worth remembering only maybe. i like women I swear🙂

3

Well, why is crying blackmail? 😉

SukiSue Level 8 July 18, 2018

because men don't cry its our cryptonite

@metalhead222 , well.... Happy wife happy life? Sometimes it's hard to turn off crying? At least for a woman.

@SukiSue Men shed tears too,not as open perhaps as Women, but we have moments the tear ducts open up. Boys are told to hold in our emotions,does that make us weaker? I dunno.

Some women use it as a tool to get their way, much as children. It can be a form of manipulation

@zorialoki well that's not very nice!

@Mike1947, no.... That makes you human.

@zorialoki erm. Don't date those women. " the women I date are all manipulative!"
Maybe don't date manipulative women duh

@Blindbird I was explaining why crying is blackmail, not stating I was or would date them. I don't need the drama and avoid it as much as possible

@zorialoki I hear you! Even women have to deal with girl friends who are over dramatic and manipulative at times. It is tiring! Personally, my tears would only come from sadness. And I think that's a healthy reaction.

@SukiSue I am glad you understand, it drives me nuts. I can understand tears of joy, sadness, pain, the rest just leave me stymied. I do believe you have a healthy view on life. You gave me a great idea.

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