5 7

So first serious relationship since my wife died just got thrown under the bus . . . . How do i start up that hill again - sigh

bookofmorons 8 Jan 24
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I’m starting year eight without my wife of 25 years. All I can say from my own experiences, your journey is your journey. For me there is no one size fits all blueprint and I can’t fully apply what works or doesn’t work for someone else to my situation.

I’ve been discouraged by the outcomes of some relationships but I’ve also been encouraged. I’ve met interesting people along the way and found joy in differences. I’m a wandering pilgrim on a journey. I find that it can be as exciting as it can be lonely and disappointing.

Good luck, and try to look forward to the next relationship and what it might reveal.

TXLerins Level 5 Feb 2, 2023

Sorry about your breakup. Ive been ghosted twice and zombied twice (by the same guys). No second chances. Yet i remain optimitic but cautious. Replacing a 30+ year relationship (in my case) takes time. I don't think there are any short cuts to building trust. Be kind to yourself.

JGal Level 7 Jan 26, 2023

thank you . . . Despite it all I remain optimistic too - (I'm usually a glass half full guy lol)


That happened to me last summer after over three years of cohabitation, so I feel your pain. It was only my second effort at dating after my wife's death in 2010, but it ended so unpleasantly that I really think it will be my last effort ever. At the age of 72, I find that peace of mind is more important than intimate relationships, and that's what I get on the road trips I've resumed taking. Yeah, it gets lonely on the road sometimes, but it beats being bitched at the whole way.

Life can certainly be challenging for us older people when it comes to relationships after a divorce or after losing a spouse. I agree with you about the peace of mind thing too, that is so precious to one's well being.

I would love to find a companion to do things like traveling, dinners out, going to a movie etc., but haven't connected with anyone yet that I feel would work. Too many men in my age group frown on my cannabis use and I can't see giving that up when it helps my arthritis so much. I hope your road trips are much more enjoyable for you now. 😉


I'm sorry to read about your relationship going south. Unfortunately, it does happen as I can attest to. I've decided to take more time to think about whether I even want to try again. I hope you can come to some positive place in life, and get back out there if you so choose.🤗 Best of luck to you.

thanks and agreed.

I took almost 10 years off from dating because we still had a young teen when she passed so not bringing anything else into his life. Thing is, now that we've broke up the picture is much clearer and I feel very used by her - it makes me almost ill

@bookofmorons The good news is you now have more clarity, and will recognize the users a lot easier. 😉 I learned from my experience that even though you may have a lot in common, you still need the chemistry for things to go forward.

@Redheadedgammy really didn't need any more "experience" but guess I got it whether or not I wanted it. LOL

@bookofmorons Well, supposedly we never stop learning I've been told, so take the experience for what it was and keep on truckin.


you gotta keep looking

TheDoubter Level 9 Jan 24, 2023
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