Hello This group seems infrequently visited. So it's probably my pace.

Hubbie was killed, mva, 35 yrs ago. I've had a short relationship, long distance, just visiting, 30 yrs ago. Followed by a 3-mth horrendous attempt, with a recently-separated had-been friend of 2 years. Then, didn't date, refused every approach, for a decade (the prime of my life lost 33-44). Afterwards, a few first dates, resulted in nothing.

Years later, I fell for "where have you been all my life", "let's buy tickets to this festival, in 6 mths time, and camp in my van". I challenged him under fluoro lights. I said "don't tell any, of our too many mutual friends; let's see how we progress, privately, first". He told everyone! Then publicly dumped me, at a gig of his band ... the day after I first slept with him. (Apparently, our mates saying "nobody can catch LizZy" was a challenge to him.)
That was 9yrs ago. I've hibernated since then.

No one ever rates, compared to the love of my life. I tried compromise, and failed.

At 60, the available options are a HUGE compromise, that I can't tolerate. And, I've become more values & principles focused, and more strident too. Theist, antivax, anti-vegan, anti-science, anti-green, conspiracist, Trumper, mysogynist, racist, bigoted, alcoholic, smokers ... should keep their distance!!!

Neither are musicians, to be considered, ever again! Although, I've only encountered one, or perhaps two, to whom most of the previous exclusions wouldn't apply.

I wish the rest of you, especially the more-recently bereaved, far better luck, and, to try again, sooner