Yet another metamorphosis for me. I belong to several local organizations. I haven't been to any meetings since my husband died in September of 2017. Every month I tell myself I need to start going back to those meetings and get back to my life. I was supposed to go to one this evening. I've come to the conclusion that not going to them has nothing whatsoever to do with my husband's death anymore. It's simply not who I am anymore. In at least two cases, the organizations are predominantly right-wingers. In all cases, the organizations are predominantly devout Christians. I'm not wasting any more of my time being in situations that make me uncomfortable or during which I feel the need to defend myself and/or my politics.
I've also decided that, now that I've discovered that I am, in fact, desirable to men, I'm less inclined to feel I just have to have one in my life. This is an extremely major shift in my thinking.
Just generally feeling good and hopeful today. Standing on my own two feet and telling the whole world it has to take me as I am now.
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Feel free to reply to any comment by clicking the "Reply" button.What are your interests? There must be other organizations that you could join and find meaning. I know it must be hard where you live but volunteering for something meaningful is the best medicine.
JackPedigo
Level 9
Feb 6, 2019
0
@ProudMerrie Volunteering means first taking care of oneself. Volunteering should never be considered an obligation but something that brings meaning to you and to some aspect of your community. My island would be a small shadow of itself if it weren't for volunteers. It makes this place unique within the whole state.
@ProudMerrie Been there all to many times. For me the group has to be organized and everyone gets to decide their level. The head of the group has to also show some appreciation. I have left groups because of frustrations brought on by a lack of organization or expecting too much. The good thing here is that are so many to choose from and one can do one thing for a while and then go do something else. The very important part is to learn how to be assertive (not aggressive and this often takes some learning) and when to say no thank you.
So happy for you and your new standing on your own in your life. Reading your post gives me hope that I'll eventually get to the same place. My Richard was an atheist like me so we of course didn't do church, and he was an Independent who voted mostly for Democrats, so we had no political issues with our friends. I just need to find some local atheists group to join so I can meet people who are more to my liking instead of trying to blend in with the religious whacks around me.
Redheadedgammy
Level 9
Feb 6, 2019
0
@ProudMerrie good for you! I am still waiting for the probate to get finished so the house will be in my name, then I can sell. I just haven't decided where I'm going from here.
@ProudMerrie I wish you the best of luck in whatever new place you decide on.
Feeling good and hopeful is wonderful. I also try not to do things that are not me either.
And men no thanks I enjoy my own company .Will that change one day ? Maybe but for now I cannot be bothered .
Just do you and keep feeling better. That’s what I’m trying to do as well.
Gypsy494
Level 7
Feb 6, 2019
1
Embrace the new freedom. I know you will feel more comfortable in your own skin now that you realise that you don’t need to do anything you don’t want to, or be anyone you are not. I applaud you, and like you know, that I’m attractive to men, but choose not to have one permanently in my life, preferring to remain mistress of my own destiny. Brava !
Marionville
Level 10
Feb 6, 2019
2
@ProudMerrie Precisely right!
After the loss we do what we need to do and on our own time - sounds like you are on the right path. keep us up to date
bookofmorons
Level 8
Feb 6, 2019
3
@ProudMerrie somehow the sun keeps coming up every morning whether or not we think it will
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