Cheesy Jokes


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Posts Tagged "god" By Brbaldwin (43) Posts by anyone

Shared from Silly, Random & Fun

Apr 19Apr 19

Posted by Zealandia

How many Avengers does it take to change a lightbulb? One, but they’ll destroy your house in the process.

2 comments

Cheesy Jokes

Apr 13Apr 13

Posted by Lilac-JadeCanada

Chicken 1: “Bawk bawk bawk, bawk!” Chicken 2: “Bawk bawk bawk, bawk!” Chicken 1: “I can’t believe we haven’t come up with a new sound yet.” Chicken 2: “Perhaps we need to think outside the bawks.”

0 comments

Shared from Silly, Random & Fun

Feb 23Feb 23

Posted by Zealandia

My late uncle has left me a stately home in his will.... I haven't a clue where Sod hall is, but I'm sure it will be very grand....

2 comments

Shared from Silly, Random & Fun

Feb 6Feb 6

Posted by Zealandia

I quit my job at the helium factory. I refuse to be spoken to in that tone!

My friend who is a dairy farmer, has decided to study medicine. He wants to go into a different field.

Vladimir Putin’s approval rate is 80%. The other 20% are missing.

My addiction to Helium is out of control, but... No one is taking my cries for help seriously.

Today I gave my dead batteries away. They were free of charge.

"This is Mr. Wu," says the voice on the phone to the Receptionist, " Have vely bad pain in mouth, need see Dentist urgently today prease." "Yes Mr. Wu," replies the Receptionist, "Two Thirty." "What you broody think sirry woman," yells Mr.Wu, " Of ...

Always leave them wanting more, my uncle used to say to me. Which is why he lost his job in disaster relief.

1 comment

Cheesy Jokes

Aug 3, 2021Aug 2021

Posted by Lilac-JadeCanada

I was sitting in a Chinese restaurant last night and it suddenly went dark. The waiter came over and said: "You all need to start clapping!" "What a weirdo," I thought. Anyway we all started to clap and the lights came on! I said: "How did that ...

3 comments

Cheesy Jokes

Jul 3, 2021Jul 2021

Posted by LenHazell53

A venerable Oxford professor of English was speaking with a student one day, when the boy offered him tea. "Would you care for sugar?" asked the boy. "By the way, did you know sugar is the only word in the English language where Su is pronounced Sh?"...

2 Great Danes, dogs, are standing in the Waiting room of Vet Clinic. One looks at the other and asks, " What you in here for Mate, I'm here to get my balls cut off because I humped the bitch next door and got her pregnant?" The other answers, " Shit ...

1 comment

Posts

Oct 17, 2020Oct 2020

Posted by Lilac-JadeCanada

All day I drill holes in metal and bolt them together... At first it's boring, but then it's riveting.

And so did Centurion Marcus Lickus Clittorus say to Mary, " Bathe and clean yourself for tonight I am horny and my Legionaries are on guard at the Governors Palace." And did Mary bathe and was clean and did so spread well her legs and Marcus Lickus ...

Same decade, same Century, different location and Billy Coke-bottle, Elder of the Clan, and his Clan are sitting down near a water-hole about to dine on a kangaroo that has been roasting in the coals when an itinerant Catholic Priest enters the camp....

Q: Why are frogs always cheerful? A: They eat whatever bugs them.

Poor old God has been in a bit of downer for the last 1,000 or so years, so the Angels have assembled and are offering him/her/it a few suggestions about taking a well earned Holiday. They go through the entire list suggesting places like Jupiter, ...

Prince Charles is driving around the Estates of Sandringham Castle when he runs over one the Queens prize Corgis. Quite shocked, perplexed and worried, he grabs a shovel and starts digging a grave for the dog, when the shovel breaks open a long ...

Posted by Lilac-JadeCanada

My girlfriend always prefers the stairs, whereas I always like to take the elevator... I guess we are raised differently.

6 comments

Cheesy Jokes

Jan 4, 2020Jan 2020

Posted by johnnyrobish

Trump Reminds Evangelicals that God Is On Our Side After recent criticism from a notable Christian publication, President Trump launched a new political coalition called “Evangelicals for Trump” at the King Jesus ...

A military commander calls his soldiers and says: "the first one of you that gets rid of the mole in my garden will get a promotion!" One of the soldiers goes in and catches it. "So now what do I do with it, sir?" Asks the soldier to the commander. ...

I recently bought some apples from a fruit stall but when I got home I found that most of them were rotten. So, of course, I took them back to the stall-holder flatly who refused to either compensate me with a refund or replacement. It angered me so ...

3 comments

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Posts Tagged "god" By Brbaldwin (43) Posts by anyone

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