Here's what makes me sick and angry today. If a man loses his wife and starts dating within a year, all you hear is "oh, the poor thing, he can't make it alone, he needs someone to take care of him." If a woman loses her husband and starts dating within a year, then there's something wrong with her. She's bad. She's crazy. She's what-fucking-ever. Today I got a message from my granddaughter who's TEN years old that says "don't talk about your boyfriend in front of me anymore." Yeah, I'm sure she came up with that all by herself. From now on they're just going to have to wonder about where the fuck I am when I'm not around because I ain't saying shit. Right now the whole world can just kiss my ass. Rant over
It's a huge double standard borne of misogyny.
I'm so tired of fighting misogyny. It's every day, all the time. I'm exhausted.
Just ten minutes ago I reported a post on this site which linked a video on YouTube.
It was a video about women being 'whores'. I clicked on the video to see if it was satirical, but it wouldn't play.
Men don't have to put up with this shit.
You do what is right for you hun, of course, stay safe.
You are right, your granddaughter heard someone else. She doesn't understand.
The adults are the pits, expecting you to spend the rest of your life catering to "family" and remaining celibate.
What frickin' jerks!
That's sad. I'm sorry. 10... tricky age for understanding something of that gravity. A comment below makes sense to me though, that she likely missed her grandfather and doesn't realize that your having company [[[doesn't]]]] mean you didn't care about your husband.
I can remember back in the late 80's early 90's when my grandmother was full of spunk before the COPD kicked her butt that she would say over and over again "no matter what a man does he'll always have clean palms". I never knew what the hell she meant as she wouldn't elaborate. That was until I started researching my family history and through that process learned that my Aunt born around 1948, was not my grandfathers. Meme had an affair and the result of that was my favorite Aunt Nancy. Well, Grandpa never forgave her and held it against her for the next 52-years. I didn't see it - but there were hints of it in retrospect. Her point was that if Grandpa had cheated it would have almost been expected and those who knew about it would have blamed her for not making him happy. But the fact that she did it - she was labeled a whore and not to be forgiven. It's a clear double standard that stems from ignorance and sexism.
Hi Merry, I lost my wife a little over 2 years ago. We had the conversation a few times and each of us urged the other to move on whenever they felt ok to do so. I'm moving on but it ain't easy but I can't stay down, gotta bunch of livin to do yet. Wish you well and stay true to yourself, what somebody else thinks of you is none of your business. Peace.
I learnt not to judge.
40 years ago I worked in a pub. The head barmaids brother was dying. He had contracted a disease of parrots and it was a slow death. Every night after work Janet would be telling us all about it. At first we were at sympathetic but after a while grew less so. The work was hard and we just wanted to turn off and have beer. Then he died and we were all sympathetic again but it was not the end of it. His widow drank in the same pub. Next we got how her former sister-in-law was sleeping around. Which seemed to be true as I could not collect glasses at her table without getting groped. For weeks Janet went on and on about how little respect she must have had for her brother as her bedroom door was becoming a turnstile. Then we leaned that his widow had attempted suicide. Goodness knows what that poor woman had suffered, that drove her to seek comfort in the arms of so many men but I never judged anyone again in that way.