"It's OK, everything happens for a reason..."
I find it to be one of the cruelest things to say to someone who has just been through a traumatic event, but particularly a loss. I really wonder what goes through the mind of someone; is it that you don’t know what to say (say that, followed by a hug) or do you sincerely believe that everything happens for a reason?
Certainly human beings are resilient and can deal with tragedy. In fact, we are animals, as you know, and death just happens. Back in our caveman days the mortality rate for our young was quite high. Do you suppose the reason why was that it was easier to be nomadic with only the strongest surviving? Do you suppose that was of any comfort to the parents?
Did you know the mortality rate for children under five in 1900 was 36% and now it’s under 5%. That explains, at least here in the US, why this is so much more difficult to handle the death of a child; because it is much less frequent that it used to be. But, it happens for a reason? There is no reason for it other that we are fragile animals and shit happens in this random Universe. We comfort the living, provide them support so that they go on with it the very best they can. Because we are, after all, animals capable of compassion which is one of the best parts of our evolution.
How about this reason: We are are living in a chaotic and random universe. Some things are predicable but most things are not.
I am not even going to touch the will of god argument. Holy Shit! If you believe there is a serial killer in the sky, that’s on you. Give your 10% to the lord and whatever…
You know things just don’t make sense and sometimes bad things happen. But hey, sometimes good things happen! Let’s rejoice in that.
Remember, we don’t say that when something good happens to someone. “Oh, you got your Master’s degree! Well, everything happens for a reason.”
Comfort each other, love each other and have a wonderful day