I believe women and men can be home makers if that couple wishes... we all have different aspirations.

May I take issue with something you've said? Raising children and caring for a home takes MANY SKILLS (not to mention multi-tasking!) So..please don't denigrate yourself for not working outside your home.

Love, Mom

I'm that way. I prefer to take care of things... But I will say that whoever I'm with has to uphold their end of the relationship. The last girl I was with I moved into my apartment, I bought all of her food, paid for her school, clothes, all the dates we went on, rent, everything. The only things she had to pay for was her car and cell phone. I was %100 fine with that arrangement. But after a while she started acting like she was taking it for granted. Always had attitude toward me, even when we were out somewhere and I had just spent like $200 on her that day. She didn't like to cuddle or have sex. Started talking to me like I was stupid or something. I'm not sure if she got a false sense of entitlement or what but ended up breaking up with her after about a year of that. If you're a giver in a relationship... you really need to be with another giver or you end up getting sucked dry emotionally. It's not about the money!

There’s no real reason y u can’t have both....distance learning study....be a housewife

My 19 years of marriage were while I was in the Navy... We got a term "navy wife". A navy wife stays home, raise the kids and do everything while her man is out at sea deployed for up to 6 months at a time. I knew my wife been an athlete, gone to college, done some modeling, been a secretary, could dance, sell shoes and was pretty and smart. It was not about the money coming in it was about I didn't wanted her to waste as a navy wife (with all respect to all women holding that label now). So I requested her to work just to stay active outside the house. I am proud to say that from a job that started as a part time a few hours a week in a table in a library of a very small base. Now she has made it to a job that she travels the world inspecting Senior Rank Officers transient accommodations that not even the federal government shutdown affects her because her outfit is self sufficient. I am proud of her being mother of my children. I may never get the credit I may or may not deserve for her achievements in life but I didn't do it for the glory I did it for her potential and when I am Right about a Woman... Damn it I am Right!!!

I have been a house wife. I also have had a career.
Both were just as rewarding. You can reinvent yourself the sky's the limit.

I think both sides of a couple need to maintain a middle class earning potential just from a risk mitigation standpoint. It is not smart to build potential helplessness into the structure of your life.

It is not bad to be a stay at home parent for either spouse, but get a degree or training that you will always be able to fall back in. To be able to earn enough money to maintain the lifestyle you want.

Death happens, divorce happens, disability happens, 2008 recession happens. It’d be terrible to have your spouse lose their job and you can’t do anything to prevent the household from going into free fall.

I’d be all for it if jobs paid enough. On the other hand, women have fought and died to have the same rights as men. I value their ambition to want to work and have careers.

Having defined rolls like that are less important than functionality. Every couple will and should be different, what works for one won't work for all.

It seems to me that the term" old fashioned" refers to the way your grandmother lived 50 years ago. So if you lift your shirt at concerts, hitch hike around, have drug fueled sex, you're an "old fashioned" girl!

You are 19, why label yourself as "having no skills" as though that's all you're destined to be? You haven't even had time to find a suitable skill and passion yet. It's fine if you simply want to be a housewife, but I reject your logic leading to that decision.

You do you. There is no wrong answer so long as you're happy and nobody else is adversely impacted. I hate doing housework, personally, and would love to just work and have a housewife, but I'd probably be equally happy having a wife who also works and hiring a maid service, I think.

Personally, I'd highly recommend learning a marketable skill that you can support yourself on. This will give you the power and freedom to be independent someday if you want to. I've seen many woman who want a fairy tale life, and end up trapped with a bad guy for financial reasons.

Whatever makes people happy. If a man can support the family and the wife wants to stay at home, that's beautiful.

Good God! (Yes, I know) is this the 21st century in the 'developed' world?

Wow! I did not expect to get so much feedback! It is interesting to read everyone's opinions! Like I said I am going to go into child care because I do need to be independent. But remember, being a house wife doesn't necessarily mean you have to have kids! If I was fortunate enough to be a house wife, I would not just be home lazing around all day. I'd make sure the house was clean and food was ready for when the husband got home; as someone mentioned before which is exactly what I would do, I would go and help out the community, whether it was helping out the seniors, the homeless, or help get things done that needed to be done in the community. I think it is very fulfilling to be able to lead a life like that. Though, I do understand not everyone has this luxury. Both of my parent's worked until mom got really sick, they told her if she was better in 6 months, they would happily take her back and she would still be making the amount she made when she quit! But, her health issues lasted for a year, and her health would fluctuate so she stayed home and took care of me. She is the hardest working woman I know other than my sister and I admire them for it! She has tried to go back to work in the past couple of years due to the increase on prices on things and her social security (I was raised by older people, old enough to be my great grandparents) and dad's income isn't enough. He can't retire though because he wouldn't make enough through social security because as a young adult he had amazing jobs that made super well, but he got paid under the table so to speak. I see how hard it is and I am thankful they let me still live at home to go to college. So, I do know I need to work to bring home the bacon if you don't have the fortune of being able to stay at home! It's just a dream and I wanted to know everyone else's opinion of this old fashioned way. I call it old fashioned because I know a lot of women DO NOT want this and prefer to work, which I totally get! My mom has gone crazy not being able to work (no one will hire her due to her age), so I admire all of you who love working! In my area, this is not so old fashioned due to this being a large military town and a lot of the women stay home to take care of the kids. Thank you all for your feedback! Happy Holidays!!

I would love to be a stay at home mom. But, working is what I have to do for my family to survive. I feel it's whatever is best for you that matters the most. I've worked since I was 15, so it's just part of who I am.

Hmmm... it would truely help you if you would at least have 10 years of work that paid into your social security. You need 40 points. Check to see why. Life is not fairytale. You get what you put into it. You want to be a housewife... that's cool. What if something happens to your partner? Then what? Take advantage of all the professions you can reach for. Never ever think its going to be easy if just someone marries you and you just take care of the house and kids. Protect yourself. Protect your family. It's hard to get a great paying job out there in this world. There is always someone after yours. You got to stay on top of your game. If your partner looses his job then your the back up money. If he can't find one then kick his butt out. There's nothing worse you can do to yourself by being just a stay home house wife. I know that's an all day job... but it doesn't pay the bills. Sorry if I'm to opinionated here. Go see a financial advisor and see what you need to do. They will help you set your goals straight.

I believe that if a woman wants to work she can do whatever she wants. it is her choice. I believe that if they want to stay home and be a housewife that is fine too. Don't sell yourself short. You may not have discovered your skill and potential yet. The fact that you are a freethinker that has not followed the masses into a religious dogma, proves that your intelligence level is above many of the rest of society.

Well, I'm gonna be called a misogynist for this, even though I believe this only applies to the woman that I want, I could care less about what other women do who aren't mine.

I do believe in traditional roles. A man should be the bread winner and a women should take care of the household after they have had children. Why should I work all day and then have to come home and take care of the house? If taking care of the kids and house are too much, maybe she shouldn't have wanted to be a stay at home mom? Go out, get a good job and I'll stay at home, I think it's pretty easy. Was with a lazy girl once who only worked 20h a week, she left the house destroyed and let her kids do whatever. After working all day I'd take care of the kids and clean the house. Guess what? They never made a mess while I was there, because why? Discipline and actually watching them instead of letting them do whatever the hell they wanted to. Not something I'd ever go back to, I'm not gonna bust my ass all day at a good paying job just to come home and play maid. So ya, get a good job and kids can go to day care and we can split the chores, otherwise if you're not gonna work a real job then you best keep the house in order at all times.

Just my 2 cents.

I've always been independent and career minded. Had a baby at 42 after raising 12 year old with cp. Worked part-time with baby. You could be a home health care worker-some agencies will pay for LNA -licensed nurse asst, you could work in a day care center-its easy to pick up skills. Have faith in yourself.

I see some hard comments below. Her claim to having no skills doesn't imply she doesn't plan on having any all her life. She obviously would develop skills as parenting alone. She can also develop skills as she attends school meetings as she meets others leading to a well of other aspects. She could very well become the next best politician in her area through this type of parenting. These types of women use to form some of the best localities across America during our best times! Something we as a nation should get back to in my opinion. Something out of Glass House>>> You had a core of college-educated, sophisticated people who made good livings working right downtown at the corner of Broad and Main Street, and more importantly, in some ways, their wives — remember this is '40s, '50s, '60s and into the '70s — their wives typically didn't work at a career-type job outside the home. They threw themselves into the town. So they did hospital benefits, they did benefits for preserving the old Antebellum homes in Lancaster, they did vaccination drives, they made sure the sidewalks got repaired, the streets got paved, they attended city council meetings. This was a core of civic leadership.>>> A book from Brian Alexander on the city of Lancaster Ohio. An interview with and NPR program. [npr.org] No, it's not for every today's woman with the entrapment of the ending story in his book or the city of Lancaster. But there is still a presence and desire for some women who feel the urge to serve society in this nature.

Use the right terms. What you are talking about is male domination, not "old-fashioned". I am 80 years old, and my wife and I both worked, and we have always shared decision-making and responsibilities.

I/we, are in that mold. Although within today's still developing type of economic structure for middle and lower class, that type of structured home life is for the most part is unsustainable. Mary however as you referred to, does both. What a blessing I got in her 4 years ago! After decades of bad relationship after bad relationship. I hope you're able to find a good man that has the ability to take you within your desired life style and find the best of times together. With that said though. At your age it's not likely to come soon. Search well and be very attentive to the nature of potential prospects. The history of most here would tell you, you have many relationships to trial before you actually find a good one. My trials took me to 51 before I found Mary. Sometimes I wish I had this advice and understood it earlier in my life sometimes. But better late than never!

To each their own, I guess. I, personally, used to want this but after being a sort of 'house wife' to my ex of three years...I can safely say, NO THANK YOU. I like to work. I like to have my own money. I like to have a routine and a schedule outside of my home. I also find that I get really very annoyed if I'm the ONLY one doing any sort of housework and such even if I'm not working- I still feel everything should be very egalitarian and shared.