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I would like to begin a discussion of the validity of posting a credit score limit on your profile page.

A while back there was some social media chatter about someone that did this, stating a requirement of a 650 credit score or don't bother messaging this person.

The concept has stuck with me as an interesting statement of value. Obviously the person can't check your credit score, but this states clearly that monitoring and managing credit is of some importance to this person.

I set personal goals, a credit score I'd like to have before seriously attempting to start a relationship. But I've yet to follow through with vocalizing an expectation of others in this regard.

On the one hand I appreciate the statement of priority and wanting to avoid taking on some else's mess.

On the other hand I acknowledge that credit score plummet sometimes to almost no fault of the individuals.

I could say more on the idea but I'd like to start the discussion there. What are your thoughts?

KyleDavis 4 July 9
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16 comments

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1

I can't relate to this idea at all. "I'm really attracted to this person. I hope she's got good credit."

Yeah, its like an advertisement for a malignant narcissist seeking their next victim and intending for it to be someone they can financially exploit on the largest scale possible.

Really the idea of setting it upfront is a preemptive filter to hopefully avoid the struggle of "I like you but we are screwed financially."

Fiscal insecurity has killed many relationships. So I don't see how it's an unreasonable factor if you are considering overall quality of life.

2

I think those kinds of things are best left to traditional discernment methods, i.e., getting to know the other, something of how he/she expresses his/herself, views on mutually interesting topics, etc., etc. Then, if there is more than cyber acquaintance in the offing, perhaps raise the topic of fiscal responsibility. There's much that should, in my opinion, precede the credit score option.

All that said, I'm an old fogey with much "traditional" thinking still rattling around upstairs. I don't have many of the same experiences, expectations, history, or perspectives that seem to be necessary to deal with an array of the complexities common now, but virtually non-existent when my outlook on such topics was being formed.

I'd be interested in elaborating on what method should proceed the credit score option.

I reiterate here that the idea is not to demand the exact value up front, but to suggest a minimum as a statement of importance.

That being said I see a lot of vague references to alternative and would like to hear more, particularly why they are better.

@KyleDavis as I endeavored to indicate, my thinking on such matters was formed in a different era. You asked for peoples' thoughts on the matter, did you not? That is not to say, then, that one way or another is best for this or that person; but the ethos in which I matured would have viewed such a direct and immediate request such as this as somewhat crass. Again, however, different approaches and different perspectives are a natural outcome of the progression of societal norms.

If you are determined to acquire the information, credit score, of someone, I suppose the first step would be to ask that person if they feel comfortable discussing the matter. As far as putting in profile, as long as it was voluntary, I have no problem with it.

@Condor5 I don't know if my message there came across more combative than intended, but I did say I wanted to start a discussion on the subject. More specific to examine the idea more thoroughly in it's details and alternatives. My intent was not to suggest that your way is better or worse but to engaging in further analyzing the concept.

To be clear most of my defense of the idea so far is because I think people have the wrong idea of the implication. But I don't think a hard credit score warning label is ultimately a good approach.

Perhaps something softer like a statement for preference in caring to maintain and improve ones credit score or other reference to financial responsibility.

Waiting till the conversation has started and addressing it in conversation is one alternative. But this more direct approach almost seems to me as more crass. It seems there are many things we put upfront on profiles that aren't generally early conversation points that are there to build a picture of the person and their values.

I may not think using the credit score limit like "you should have a 650 credit score or better before messaging me" is the right approach. But I can appreciate the underlying intend, the desire for stability.

@KyleDavis no offense intended, none taken, Kyle. I'm somewhat retrograde in my thinking on certain things, and that is probably more related to my age than anything. I totally get wanting some kind of read on a potential partner's fiscal outlook/responsibility. Having that kind of knowledge from the get-go may have been a red flag in my last relationship, or at least have given me a clue about her motivations and actions regarding our mutual financial obligations and expectations.

2

Should be entirely voluntary. Not required. Finances are to be discussed once you meet someone. Keep private.

I think there is a difference between post "I don't want to even start something if your credit score isn't at least xxx." and asking someone to provide their credit score.

I'd imagine a proper application would phrase what I said about a bit nicer on a profile page and assume conversations moving forward on the matter consider that point.

Indeed there are very few 'criteria' in which a person doesn't risk being over baring if they over do drilling the point home.

2

You're assuming that a higher credit score is a better financial situation.

Credit scores were developed by the banks to determine who is a "good risk" for lending money. The higher your credit score the more likely you are to all for credit, pay your bills, and keep a balance on that credit thus paying interest continually making money for the bank. Personally I despise this juxtaposition of "willingness to pay banks interest" as a measure of ones wealth or financial acuity. In my mind the financially responsible person wants to pay as little interest and fees to banks as possible.

For the most part that is what I am interested in getting an early understanding of. Do you pay your bills and manage your debt well.

I acknowledge the system is not perfect for this, but I'm not hearing much in the ways on strong alternatives either.

I do wish there was a better distinction between bad credit and no credit. For example.

1

Maybe your LinkedIn profile. Or, if you find personal relationships that are transactional appealing, a lot of people do. I wouldn't myself.

Personally I think it's about aiming for a long game and saving time in the progress. Ive seen financial situations tear apart my parents relationships and many of my friends. It's pretty well documented that financial strains turn otherwise good relationships sour. Thus determining some degree of financial stability seems to be an important factor in achieving a healthy relationship.

Now perhaps this particular idea is not the best idea for improving earlier insight on the matter, hopefully we can expand this idea to address pragmatic approaches.

5

Like it's not hard enough to find people?

People are easy to find. They are everywhere. Good people that you can build something wonderful with... That's the hard part.

4

This is the first I've heard of this, but I'm not surprised. The shallowness of people has never been more apparent. I'm so happy not to be dating anmore.

I think it's to easy to shrug of the idea as shallow. That was my initial reaction to the concept as well. And I ultimate don't think credit score itself is the right approach... But I do think the idea itself does stem from an honest desire to try to plan for a stable future. Which is not an inherently shallow desire.

6

I have no money there job done now she has to love me for my tiny penis !!

Awww and your big brain and aparkling personality

It's not the size of the ship but how you sail it that matters.

3

Wrong on so many levels for me. Sorry but I don't even know where to begin.

Salo Level 7 July 9, 2018

Begin at the beginning.

Or roll a dice to choose.

1

You may want to try this:

[businessinsider.com]

JimG Level 8 July 9, 2018

I never aspired to such eliteness, and am rather sorry for those who do.

Haha interesting. They really do have every varient of dating site.

4

I don't think this is a good idea. I agree it is temporary,it could fluctuate up and down,depending on whats going on at the time. If someone wouldnt date me because i have a low credit score,then theyre not the guy for me!
That number doesnt tell me if they respect women,if theyre addicted to drugs,or if they beat their dog.Ive dated different types of men over the years,and the guys who work full time,and arent rich,or even comfortable have been the ones who have treated me better,in every sense of the word.My son in law has a high credit score,and hes broke most of the time,so i don't want someone trying to live above their means either,just to impress people.If people are going to lie about other things,you know theyll lie about this. Which i don't understand,btw. When you meet,which is what most peoples goals are,theyll find out everything anyway.

I fear you mistake the point as suggesting it should be the only factor.

This is not the intent. It is one factor potentially given a high priority as an indicator of wanting to think about long term stability.

That being said financially instability does have pretty strong correlations with aggression, drug abuse, and Seperation. It is not hard to see why. Financial insecurity leads to stress, stress leads to hatred, and hatred leads to the dark side.

4

I am someone from the older generation so humour me. I have lived until today in a state of ignorance about my credit rating. I am aware that there are companies which you can pay for them to tell you the details if your credit history and how you are rated financially. I already know all my financial details so have never found the need to pay someone else to tell me what I already know. Why anyone would think it would be a good idea to publish their credit rating on this site or any other baffles me, unless it is a bragging issue!

You don't have to pay for it.

The Fair Credit Reporting Act (FCRA) requires each of the nationwide credit reporting companies — Equifax, Experian, and TransUnion — to provide you with a FREE copy of your credit report, at your request, once every 12 months. You just have to ask.

AnnualCreditReport.com

@Funnygir175 Good to know should I ever feel the need to find out.

In addition to what @funnygirl175 said, there is also Credit Karma which is free and pretty accurate. No, it's not what lenders use, but it gives you are really good idea of what's going on with your credit, loans, accounts, etc. -- scores update weekly and you can log on as often as you wish.

FYI, I bank with Wells Fargo (I know, I know), and do most of my transactions online. When I look at my accounts, there's a part I can touch/click on that brings my credit score up.

@Condor5 Thanks for your comment. I really am a dinosaur, I do not do internet banking.....I like to keep my bank details well away from the internet!

To be clear I would not advocated anyone post their actual credit score on a profile page.

This is merely about the potential value of suggesting a lower limit.

The credit score is not perfect but it's a metric that can be vaguely used to get an idea of someone's emphasis on financial responsibility.

Not that different from some people using minimum education level standards on profiles.

@KyleDavis Can’t agree, it still sounds to me like it is an emphasis on status. There can be a variety of reasons why someone could have a poor rating, this should not be an impediment to finding a mate.

3

Its a temporary number, like a bank balance or your weight on a scale. My score sometimes fluctuates wildly due to credit reporting snafus - say I'm shifting a balance between cards to save on interest, I get emails announcing it has gone up and down when really it hasn't changed a bit. A lot like Zillow's opinion of the worth of my house - it goes up and down no matter what I do, or even what my neighbors do. Other "values" that are temporary are where you work, how much you make, and what kind of car you drive. All subject to change due to fortune, fate, good luck, bad luck, or whimsy. Even your age is temporary. Personally if I was going to base my attraction to someone on a number, I'd be asking for something a little more permanent, like their IQ score - and not the bogus ones you get on Facebook that declare everyone a genius in the 200 range.

I guess everybody has dealbreakers, but I know how to help a person fix messy credit so this is not one of the things that matter to me. It doesn't tell me what I need to know, like whether they are kind and loving. All it tells me is they can get a mortgage, and I've already got one, so I don't care. A lot of people are obsessed with other people's money, and to me its kind of a red flag if someone is primarily interested in my financial situation before they can be interested in me. Seems like something a con artist might do, to be honest. "How much can I squeeze out of you? How much can I convince you to spend?" is what I hear.

The idea is of course not to claim the credit score stands alone as the only thing you need to consider in some way.

And the fluctuations less relevant since I would not advocate that people give out their actual credit scores.

The idea is that it's a starting point on the value of financial stability.

Like "no smokers". It doesn't tell you if the persons kind, but it is not meant to. It is one metric with its own weight on a particular topic.

3

No. It would be a really unsafe practice for an international dating site.

I hadn't even considered international dating. Though to be fair I wouldn't be suggesting the dating site itself build this into the framework.

Interesting though. I do have a friend here in Arizona dating someone in Spain and considering moving out there. In many ways he has more reason to value understanding financial stability given the greater risk involved in a potential move, yet an even murkier framework for examination.

4

It would tell people something about your values as well as your value.

skado Level 9 July 9, 2018
2

Fiscal responsibility is important to me in considering a long term relationship. I'd like the person I'm with to share my values and goals in many areas, including financial.

Would you consider using a statement of a minimum credit score as a viable way of conveying that value of yours?

@KyleDavis No, I think there are other ways of determining fiscal responsibility than a credit score. I've known people who've been through a divorce and it wrecked their credit. And regardless of what MY credit score is, I wouldn't pursue someone who listed a minimum credit score requirement on their profile page.
That being said, when it comes to a long term, committed to building and sharing a life relationship, life is easier (cheaper) when it comes to buying a car, a home, toys, etc. with a good credit score.

So @KyleDavis, what's the minimum credit score you'd accept?

@Funnygir175 idk that I have a minimum at this time. I believe in the example the person was using 650 for their standard.

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