If a man was honest - "I want casual sex with no commitment" - most women would turn him down.

Yep a lot of guys are dicks

When I was your age, same thing! Maybe guys are serious about being in a relationship, but they must have a lot of fear going on or else they would be in one! It was very disappointing when men never came through when I was that age. I may have felt like I was running out of time (now I see that as young), maybe that came through to them! I finally gave up, it was emotionally draining for me. Keep looking you have plenty of time and be happy in the meantime! Good luck...

Let's look at another side. Most of the comments here bashed the guy for some reason. Your complaint was lodged for a reason. You wanted him and had expectations. If not, then no reason to be angry and complain. You gave too many chances and he took advantage of it. He'll continue being who he is and only you can prevent these feelings so try to be a bit more aware in the future.

The short answer is either he's hiding something big or it's a result of 'toxic masculinity as an aspect of the sexist paradigm.' Or, if you prefer 'of the traditional gender paradigm.'

The...much less short answer is that in the developmental stages involving gender identification and formation of autonomous self there comes the fundamental question that must be answered: what does it mean to be a man? What does it mean to be a woman? What qualities make up those things? And we are perpetually barraged on all sides by our culture, media, peers, teachers, parents, and so on a variety of definitions and key characteristics. And group dynamics favor homogeneity, and so toxic social control models are used to enforce these concepts into our internalized identity.

Boys are taught under this model that to be a man means to be strong and enjoy athletics and be confident and not show any vulnerability or weakness, especially emotionally. In this particular facet of 'masculine behavior' it is very likely the control method seen is physical violence and ridicule. A boy might bully smaller boys because they are shown that's what it means to be a man: both to prey on people who are weaker and to cause suffering to those who aren't 'tough enough' to mask emotion's like fear or sadness. Only anger is allowed. Add other facets like misogynistic behaviors and rigid adherence to traditional gender roles in layers.

Some guys are just shallow. Some guys are sketchy in one way or another, many simply don't even understand their own emotions and default to the master list of 'how would a MAN handle this?' Or replace the word man with John Wayne or a similar male culture model. 'Being confronted about your feelings? Get defensive, extract self' isn't an uncommon response, trying to turn the argument around is also a standard response. And sometimes people just waste your time incidentally.

In any event, the guy in question either really does not seem to have been in the situation for the same reasons you were, or was not willing to risk vulnerability.

Either way, you're probably better off and youre certainly better off finding that out sooner than later.

Sound married.

We can and do, that guy is a little boy, has other things going and wants to keep you on a string as a back up, it's best to move on and ignore him cause he ain't shit.

I can say that about some women as well- seems more of a human trait of the non-committal. He doesn’t seem like he is ready to commit to you and you want reassurance that you’re not wasting your time with him. As you two haven’t intersected here you need to continue going in opposite directions.

From my perspective: being older makes me more wary of internet connections with people for a 'dating' relationship. Until I have met the person, I don't consider a relationship other than a pen pal. I know many young people under 35 who do consider themselves in a relationship. I guess maybe it's a function of age? I used to talk on the phone to girl friends for hours.

Yeah, he's hiding something....like mental illness.......run don't walk....

First I agree with most of the other responses; he is probably otherwise attached and not worthy of your time.

Some of us can open up, its scary but we can do it. It can be especially hard when we aren't sure of the other person's intentions, feelings, etc.

Maybe they are just looking for an extra friend or are scared that meeting would totally stop things.

Then there are just a-holes who are womanizers out to run up a higher tally.

They can be. He's just lacks candor.

Most cis hetero men are basically walking sex organs with large bellies. They typically go for the youngest, hottest woman they can find. If you have any romantic notions about men, forget it.

The book, The Rules for Online Dating advises women to delete any men who don't ask to meet them in person within four messages.

Women are advised to wait at least one day before replying to messages.

If a man asks to meet you, only meet them in your own city, at a public place. Take your own car. Let friends know where you are. Never tell the strange men where you live or give them enough information for them to figure it out for themselves.

If the man tries to make the woman pay for the date, stand up and leave immediately.

DO "google" the men before meeting them. Find out if what they told you is true. Are they married, employed, have kids, are in another relationship, are listed as sexual predators, etc.

End the date first. Don't sleep with anyone until you're in a exclusive relationship. Don't bare your soul to them. Don't complain to them about your past relationships, implying that you think THEY will solve all your romantic expectations. Don't chase, call, or throw yourself at them. Don't act needy and clingy.

Be mysterious and somewhat aloof until you get to know them much better, or until they've asked for an exclusive relationship. Then, be careful what you tell them.

I didn’t read all the comments so maybe this has been said.....he sounds like he’s married....

Read your bio btw. You sound interesting. Good luck out there ?

I have a tendancy to talk to more women than men, it has always been this way. I can only think of about 10 reasons why. All of them having to do with my childhood. I am married to the love of my life, but I do not get out much, except for medical appointments and work, which I still do as I love what I do. Kate has a disease probably no more than 200 people on the planet have, this along with the hip problems, the knees that don't allow her to get around. Any way I try my best to say that I am not looking for a relationship. I have tried to help several people with what I know and have had some misunderstandings. Women think I am being forward, which if I were looking for a relationship I would probably be. But since I am not I just offer help. I want every one to be happy and get along. Life is hard enough and people do not need others playing games with them. This I will not do and if anyone thinks I am then they have to tell me.

It's not just men it's people in general. The same thing happened to me several times. We talk for a well or so and I like to be up front and simply ask if you are actually interested let me know and if not just move on, you would think I asked them to marry me. I think people just have too many options these days. Don't change because the right guy will appreciate your forwardness. I know I would.

It's not just men it's people in general. The same thing happened to me several times. We talk for a well or so and I like to be up front and simply ask if you are actually interested let me know and if not just move on, you would think I asked them to marry me. I think people just have too many options these days. Don't change because the right guy will appreciate your forwardness. I know I would.

His intentions may have been just to take it slow, of course it could also have been something less honorable. Either way it sounds like you're looking for different things, part ways. I will admit the "dating" comment seemed kind of petty.

It might have something to do with “the demise of guys”:

He's married and looking for a sexting thing. When a man wants something, he goes for it. If he was into you, he would make it happen.

It's not just men it's people in general. The same thing happened to me several times. We talk for a well or so and I like to be up front and simply ask if you are actually interested let me know and if not just move on, you would think I asked them to marry me. I think people just have too many options these days. Don't change because the right guy will appreciate your forwardness. I know I would.

It's not just men it's people in general. The same thing happened to me several times. We talk for a well or so and I like to be up front and simply ask if you are actually interested let me know and if not just move on, you would think I asked them to marry me. I think people just have too many options these days. Don't change because the right guy will appreciate your forwardness. I know I would.

Why can't women be open and honest?

You don't need that drama.
What's your sign?
Come here often?

Apparently one of the latest "crazes" is to appear disinterested in order to attract interest... It could be a ploy, it could be an issue, it could be a multitude of things that only your imagination can come up with... at the end of the day, it's your choice to play it out or let it go. Your comfort level is the only thing you should be concerned with.