They can be. He's just lacks candor.

Sounds like he was trying to keep his options open. Meanwhile he's giving you mixed signals. You don't need that.

I am

He probably has feelings of inadequacy and is intimidated by your superior sexual prowess.

Or he's just a dumb jerk.

Maybe both.

Prolly both.

?

He was probably married or catfishing. He's definitely got something to hide. If a guy is truly interested, he'll do what he can to make it happen. You are better off moving on.

Darn it, ask me next time ?

It's going to be for the same reason woman aren't, we live on a planet filled with countries and religions who aren't open and honest. This hypocrisy forces some people to live lies just to get by so most people won't be able to be open and honest.

Married , no doubt about it.

The short answer is either he's hiding something big or it's a result of 'toxic masculinity as an aspect of the sexist paradigm.' Or, if you prefer 'of the traditional gender paradigm.'

The...much less short answer is that in the developmental stages involving gender identification and formation of autonomous self there comes the fundamental question that must be answered: what does it mean to be a man? What does it mean to be a woman? What qualities make up those things? And we are perpetually barraged on all sides by our culture, media, peers, teachers, parents, and so on a variety of definitions and key characteristics. And group dynamics favor homogeneity, and so toxic social control models are used to enforce these concepts into our internalized identity.

Boys are taught under this model that to be a man means to be strong and enjoy athletics and be confident and not show any vulnerability or weakness, especially emotionally. In this particular facet of 'masculine behavior' it is very likely the control method seen is physical violence and ridicule. A boy might bully smaller boys because they are shown that's what it means to be a man: both to prey on people who are weaker and to cause suffering to those who aren't 'tough enough' to mask emotion's like fear or sadness. Only anger is allowed. Add other facets like misogynistic behaviors and rigid adherence to traditional gender roles in layers.

Some guys are just shallow. Some guys are sketchy in one way or another, many simply don't even understand their own emotions and default to the master list of 'how would a MAN handle this?' Or replace the word man with John Wayne or a similar male culture model. 'Being confronted about your feelings? Get defensive, extract self' isn't an uncommon response, trying to turn the argument around is also a standard response. And sometimes people just waste your time incidentally.

In any event, the guy in question either really does not seem to have been in the situation for the same reasons you were, or was not willing to risk vulnerability.

Either way, you're probably better off and youre certainly better off finding that out sooner than later.

Yeah, this guy was lying to someone for sure. That's how people act when they are potentially cheating.

Watch our for the warning signs. Being a poly guy, we get it a lot with women pulling the same exact thing. If someone isn't wide open with you about their life or things within it by about a week or two, then they are being dishonest somewhere along the line. Just level and tell them this is how it looks and, often, they will come right out and admit it.

You're 100% right - don't waste time on those guys. Move on.

All the best to you!

Idk if it's just men. I have had the same happen with women.

First I agree with most of the other responses; he is probably otherwise attached and not worthy of your time.

Some of us can open up, its scary but we can do it. It can be especially hard when we aren't sure of the other person's intentions, feelings, etc.

Maybe they are just looking for an extra friend or are scared that meeting would totally stop things.

Then there are just a-holes who are womanizers out to run up a higher tally.

Some of us are capable of openness and honesty. Don't let the bastards grind you down.

The Internet selects for posers and shallow people.

Let's look at another side. Most of the comments here bashed the guy for some reason. Your complaint was lodged for a reason. You wanted him and had expectations. If not, then no reason to be angry and complain. You gave too many chances and he took advantage of it. He'll continue being who he is and only you can prevent these feelings so try to be a bit more aware in the future.

Yeah, he's hiding something....like mental illness.......run don't walk....

Many people (men and women) are bad at expressing their thoughts or opinions clearly and honestly. Also, many people tend to have things they want to hide. My only advice is just remember you can't change people. At the first sign they are not being upfront and honest then move on and move on quickly. Also, trust your gut instinct on these matters. That is your subconscious mind contradicting your conscious mind trying to rationalize the other person's behavior.

Apparently one of the latest "crazes" is to appear disinterested in order to attract interest... It could be a ploy, it could be an issue, it could be a multitude of things that only your imagination can come up with... at the end of the day, it's your choice to play it out or let it go. Your comfort level is the only thing you should be concerned with.

I am a firm believer in believing what people do over what they say. Words are easy.

From your description he is acting uninterested, I would assume no matter what he said he is uninterested or like couple of guys I shooed way wants you to be there when he has nothing else going on.

You are definitely worth more than either scenario.

You don't need that drama.
What's your sign?
Come here often?

His intentions may have been just to take it slow, of course it could also have been something less honorable. Either way it sounds like you're looking for different things, part ways. I will admit the "dating" comment seemed kind of petty.

Why can't women be open and honest?

From my perspective: being older makes me more wary of internet connections with people for a 'dating' relationship. Until I have met the person, I don't consider a relationship other than a pen pal. I know many young people under 35 who do consider themselves in a relationship. I guess maybe it's a function of age? I used to talk on the phone to girl friends for hours.

It's not just men it's people in general. The same thing happened to me several times. We talk for a well or so and I like to be up front and simply ask if you are actually interested let me know and if not just move on, you would think I asked them to marry me. I think people just have too many options these days. Don't change because the right guy will appreciate your forwardness. I know I would.

It's not just men it's people in general. The same thing happened to me several times. We talk for a well or so and I like to be up front and simply ask if you are actually interested let me know and if not just move on, you would think I asked them to marry me. I think people just have too many options these days. Don't change because the right guy will appreciate your forwardness. I know I would.

It's not just men it's people in general. The same thing happened to me several times. We talk for a well or so and I like to be up front and simply ask if you are actually interested let me know and if not just move on, you would think I asked them to marry me. I think people just have too many options these days. Don't change because the right guy will appreciate your forwardness. I know I would.