If you could see yourself through the eyes of a stranger for a moment, would you do it?
As soon as I hit comment I thought of a time that actually happened. I was in a men's group therapy session and we were talking about our reasons for being there. One guy was gay and had recently lost his partner to aids. The following week we were sitting in a circle and the topic was what we thought of the group. When it came to him (he was directly across from me) had had good things to say generally but pointed at me and said he (me) doesn't seem to care because I wasn't looking at him. When it came around to me I mentioned I am naturally shy and hate public speaking. Having people stare at me makes things worse so I project those feelings on others; I said we don't hear with our eyes but our ears and I was listening. I also said I did not come here to be judged by others and therefore it was a wast of money and it didn't help me with my issue and I left.
For a moment, of course. It would be another way for me to grow. Of course it would be hard for a stranger to do this. I have already told my friends I welcome constructive criticism, it doesn't bother me. Too many of us, myself included, have body language habits of which we are oblivious and it is important to know this. One friend told me that sometimes when I talk I use my hands but instead of the whole hand I tend to point so I started to pay attention. One day we were having a discussion and she was sitting across from me. I saw her point to me and, sure enough, I was pointing. These things can be off-putting to some and we need to be aware of them. Unfortunately, some have told me they are not open to criticism of any kind.
I often think about the idea (I would NEVER carry it out) of faking my own death then changing my appearance to see what people say about me. However I think I might be disappointed as when others have passed on (or are they using my idea?) they get talked about for a while in very good terms then people realise they have to get on with their own lives. Note: family and special close friends do not apply here, I will miss them every day that I am still here and I hope they would feel the same for me.
Just one, just once? No-- with my luck I'd get someone who hates me on sight and with my fragile self-esteem that would be very damaging.
But if I could do it a thousand times, or a hundred, or even ten? Game on. It might then actually be very helpful to see how little other people actually despise--ir even think about or notice--me.
What a really cool thought experiment. I think I would. I would like to do it to multiple people though. People that have known me for a while, and people that just met me. I'm sure a lot of it would be hard, but it would help me become a better person I think
knowing that I self-reflect daily, and that I am my own worst judge, I'm not sure I'd wish to. Does the stranger have any idea what my life has brought? Do they look at the world with kindness, or eyes bleached with bitterness?
What can I size up, about the stranger, before I give them that kind of input on a life they know nothing about?