As an agnostic/athiest how do you go about getting married or having a wedding?
Civil ceremony. No need to mention god, or religious nonsense.
Wife and I did ours at City Hall.Ten minutes and legal as all get out.
@RonWilliam53 3 minutes and 52 seconds.
As a licensed "minister," I do non-religious weddings all the time. The same exact procedure, no God mentioned. Easy peasy. if you need help, let me know. Feel free to inbox me I have 20 years experience.
BTW, I have to use the term minister to be legal.
I do think that formalizing a loving relationship you plan to maintain over time is a worthy act.
Me too.
Don't look at marriage as a religious experience. Look at marriage as a contract between two people, as a contract it can be as restrictive as the two parties agree upon.
I don't.
Beat me to it.
Thought of that too.
my sister got married by her yoga instructor. there is also always city hall. option 2 will save you a bunch on wedding costs. there is no need for religion to be part of a wedding if the people getting married don't want it to be there. it's more about signing on the dotted line than anything else.
Thank you for the advice ?
Being secular/agnostic doesn't really change anything. It's a legal matter - it's the church part that's optional, contrary to what religious believe. Marriages performed only in a church aren't valid with the state. I have several gay friends who, before it was legal, were married in a church - it was a beautiful celebration, but that didn't confer any legal rights to their partners.
People have been getting married "at city hall" for decades. They'll do pretty words for you if you prefer, but it can simply be someone authorized by the state asking, "Do you want to marry this person?"
My first marriage was at the Justice of Peace and the second was a wonderful celebration in a park by another Justice of the Peace. It’s YOUR wedding, do it the way it feels right, or as a guy do it the way she wants, lol.
My late husband and I were married on the beach by a Justice of the Peace. I found her on line. I asked her specifically not do the tradtional marriage (religious) service. She agreed and we had a lovley ceremony just as the sun was setting. It was truly beautiful.
We wrote our own vows using passages from books we liked...Kahlil Gibran, for instance...all the legal stuff was done at the courthouse, no religion required.
Finding a trooper willing to take the jump is step one.
Civil ceremony, a judge can perform the marriage vows.
Go to Vegas, get married by an Elvis
I am in Vegas... who wants to marry elvis?
@GipsyOfNewSpain not marry Elvis, have an Elvis perform the ceremony
@GwenC I know, sorry, but you know somebody will like to marry elvis.
Marriage is a civil ceremony. It just happens that clergy are allowed to officiate / solemnize it at the pleasure of the state. That's why it only is legit if you buy a license from the state.
So in reality the better question is, how do you go about getting married or having a wedding if you're a believer? Because that's what actually adds extra steps to the process.
My wife and I went to the city clerk, bought a license, and arranged for one of the staff to officiate. We spoke our vows at city hall, and then took ourselves and her kids to a local B&B to celebrate. Simples.
That sounds like it was great! ?
I was trying to put a smile ? not the laughing emoji. Haha sorry about that
@Ashxoleyxo No offense taken. It was great.
City Hall is just as good a place as any church. We should remind ourselves that marriage was an economic contract, typically arranged by the parents, before religion co-opted it.
Marriage is a civil and fiduciary union. Even if one is religious and marries in a church, they must first obtain a license from city hall for the marriage to be a legally binding contract. An atheist would be required the same steps as "believing" couples, though they'd probably perform the ceremony outside of the church.
I have never done that but my guy and i are planning to have a commitment ceremony. it will be performed by a rabbi, possibly in a synagogue. the rabbi will know that i am an atheist (my guy is not religious but does believe, in a vague way, in some kind of god). the ceremony will be something that pleases both of us. it won't bother me to be "hitched" (sort of) that way. i'm okay with it. i don't feel threatened by it.
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