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If you and your girlfriend/boyfriend didn't live together, would you expect at LEAST a text message everyday ? Edit.
Maybe "expect" wasn't the word I wanted. And people seem to have to have a time table established. ....
So "..you've been dating for over a year....wouldn't it seem fitting to text/exchange some affection on those days you can't see each other..?"...

David3001 5 July 30

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52 comments

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1

Yes I would. I'm very insecure.

Carin Level 8 July 31, 2018

Knowing that it would make you feel better if I did, then I would but personally I wouldn't expected anyone to have to.

@RoadGlider You are a truly caring person if you would do something like that.

@Carin it is true that I am.

9

Slight edit to say that we are past dating and have twenty years between us. Still makes me weak at the knees to see him come in the door again though......?

Tilia Level 7 July 31, 2018
8

With the question being boyfriend/girlfriend status which implies to me it’s past casual dating then I would say yes. It takes less than a minute to send a text that says I’m being thought or that I’m thinking of that other person. It doesn’t mean we need to have a full on conversation especially since during the week I would be at work. And it doesn’t mean I need to asked 30 times a day how I am - that’s too much and sort of creepy. But this is my opinion and we all know about opinions ... cheers

I agree with this.

And, too much and too often can be exhausting.

8

I think every day would be nice, but not expected. If he's into you, you'll hear from him. ❤

6

Yes. But, I'd want the communication out of want, not obligation/expectation. If the want is not there, and I felt in my bones the text or call was obligatory, that would be a red flag to me.

That said, I am introverted and I don't have a need or desire to have full conversations with a partner every day (assuming we don't live together). But, even then, I'd still touch base, say good night or whatever.

6

Yes a call everyday to catch up, hear their voice, and know that someone has set you as a priority and the same goes for you. It should come naturally for both of you to want to touch base, just to make sure all is well in their world everyday.

It would be nice if it came naturally to everyone, but that isn't always the case. Probably moreso for introverts. So to just expect it can cause problems. If it's an issue, there should be a conversation. Just because someone isn't naturally inclined to make contact everyday doesn't mean that person won't make the effort.

@bingst Exactly. I personally don't have a NEED to touch base every day and definitely not more than once on most days.

HOWEVER, I'm not the norm and it usually IS more important to my partner than to me. So, even when I'm not up for chit chat, it takes VERY little effort for me to turn off introversion for a few minutes and call or text.

6

I rarely text. I like to actually like to hear the other persons voice.

5

live together or not...yes...EVERY day...

4

Not necessarily.
If there isn't "enough" communication occurring to satisfy one party's expectations, a conversation needs to happen.
No one can realistically expect anyone else to live up to their expectations if they don't even know what they are.
Further, the other person is under no obligation to live up to your expectations, even if they do know what they are.

Effective communication and clarity makes relationships soooo much better

4

I feel like communication is key in relationships. I think that you should at least touch base once a day.

4

It depends on how insecure the relationship is. The more secure things are the less clinging is needed.

3

Well, this shite is all newfangled witchcraft to me, being that this wasn't a thing 22 years ago.
However it's nice to hear a "how are you" , "whatcha doing" or a "i found this thing & thought of you" txt.
My pov is it's sort of dishonest to squish the impulse to let the other person know you're thinking about them. (yes I'm guilty) With that I'd not be blowing up someone's phone.

/a poll would have been nice / js

Qualia Level 8 July 31, 2018
3

If we're exclusive and calling each other girlfriend, boyfriend yeah.

If one of was crazy busy or had the type of job where you couldn't access a cell phone for 15 hours, it might be limited a few days but a few texts to show you're thinking of each other is always appreciated.

3

Yes definitely

3

Even when I split up with my boyfriend and moved away from him he literally texted me and called me every single day there was not a day that we did not spend at least 30 minutes if not longer on the phone. I think it has to do with the longing you have towards the person you want to be with

3

When I was dating, I liked getting a text message. Some people see that as overbearing, but honestly, it just let me know there was no emergency going on like a car accident. Staying in touch is so easy nowadays between FaceBook, SnapChat, InstaGram, text message, etc. that it really doesn't make sense to struggle sending a small message, unless you're taking a trip away from the internet altogether, in which case your partner will be expecting that.

leggo Level 2 July 31, 2018

My wife and I have been together 10 years now and we're both near-100% telecommutes. So we are home together every day. Still, if I go on a business trip we either talk every day or let each other know that we won't be able to. I don't feel burdened by that. I call it "pinging". It's a social behavior. It seems that if you're supposedly in love and care that you'd want to at least touch base and make sure all is well and that the other person is front and center in your thinking.

@mordant Yup.

3

Yes, communication is important in a relationship.

2

I don't text.

Me neither. I don't even know how. I like to hear the person's voice.

2

Not every day. That seems a bit clingy.

2

I don't feel like it's an insecurity thing at all. You don't think a "Good morning sweet pea... Good night... Or ..A thinking of you picture or text..." is a sign of a healthy relationship?

That’s why I said it differs. Yeah, those texts are always great! But if you expect it, then it doesn’t mean anything. Unless you’re looking for subservience.
People have busy days. My own grandmother may have to wait to get a text. It doesn’t mean the end of the world. It’s about trust

2

Yes. Long distance relationships define working for the weekend. But txt and talk fill in the gaps.

2

Yes, that seems reasonable.

2

VERY simple ........ YES!!

vmedel Level 6 July 31, 2018
2

No, and if I were concerned about it, I would have a conversation with her about how often we should communicate.

bingst Level 8 July 31, 2018
2

Not at all.
In that situation now, as OH is working 300 Kim's away for 10 days. I work too, so we only text to say when we're in so we can arrange a call. Texts aren't intimate enough, you need to hear their voice to really connect. We might call twice in that 10 days.

Tilia Level 7 July 31, 2018
2

My girlfriend and I text every day except when we are together. She has the night shift, I have early morning ?

jab60 Level 6 July 31, 2018
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