Can men and women just be friends? Age-old and cliche rhetoric...
I am looking for people to hang out with and probably not ready for a romantic relationship after a recent divorce. I'm literally going to meetup.com looking for people to hang out with. Can you do stuff with members of the opposite sex as friends?
I have lots of male friends...and yes, just friends and nothing else other than hugs "hello" and "good bye"...I would suggest maybe doing things with a group until you feel comfortable enough for being alone...set up boundaries for yourself and others...good luck and have fun!
Yes and No.
It's complicated territory...when a man and a woman click..thats great..and when they have a lot in common..its even better.
When you feel alive in their company..what could be better for two friends?
When you share your deepest fears and greatest joys..its wonderful to have that trust in a friendship.
Then you both get tipsy on that third glass of wine and end up rolling around the floor in unbridled passion on the floor...
Then What? Hmnn?
I think it is important to maintain friendships with both men and women. I certainly get far more pertinent relationship advice from my female friends than from my male ones (and vice versa)!
All my long term relationships have started as friendships first. I think that having that basis of friendship contributed to the longevity of the relationship because we had a deeper connection than just sexual attraction.
I love meeting new people and hanging with old friends through Meetup. I meet both men, women and couples in group settings. Granted many of the singles are looking for more than friendship, so I have learned to be really clear from the outset that I'm not looking for a relationship. I just want to do social and outdoor activities with people in a safe setting.
Yes, some male friends will playfully hit on me or ask to do things together alone with me. I keep it light and warm, but am firm in my stance. I often meet female friends for activities outside of Meetup, but I'm careful with meeting male friends alone, as I don't want them to think it's a date. I try to stick with group settings as far as men go.
When meeting with male friends alone, there so often is an uneasiness coming from some sort of one sided sexual desire - and an underlying pressure to seduce. So, you just have to be clear that is not your intent.
Normally I'd say it's possible. However, I'm too vulnerable to be "just friends" with any man in my real every day life at this time. I was at both of my kids' schools today to prepare for next week and found myself staring at one hot man at each school. I know that the divorce and my mid 40 something hormones affect my judgement. I'm also in what I consider to be relationship purgatory. I'm in the process of leaving one man (who doesn't want me to leave) for an amazing man who won't pursue more with me just yet because of my current marital situation. I know this all sounds horrible. I just find myself wanting to be more honest the further away from religion I get. Not being honest as a Fundamentalist and living through shitty purity culture has cost me so much. And I'm still paying the price six years as an atheist. I think you just have to chalk it all up to trial and error. There is no good answer for your question.
I have a pretty developed cache of female friends, some of them very long term. I think that the romantic/sexual tension is just there, but you can deal with it and still be friends. At one point in quite a few of these friendships, we tested waters via dating or sleeping with each other. And sometimes discovering that's not the right dynamic with that person helps solidify that friendship. There's several that I haven't slept with or dated either, but there's always that interest (at least in the back of my mind - it's not right to speak for them). I guess I don't see anything wrong in the trial and error process.
Meetup is good. Many local/regional groups provide meetings' info for michigan atheists.
One of my long time friends is a women i met in 93. Regular lunches and message exchanges.
Both me and the wif have had friends of both sexes forever. How can that be wrong?
Yes, absolutely they can... if there are genuine shared interests. In other words, if you would be close friends with another woman, you'd expect to have a fair amount in common. Same with a guy... if you don't have a lot in common in terms of activities, interests or tastes, but he still wants to hang, then this is not friendship, it's a wannabe-a-relationship. It's amazing how clueless a lot of women are about this... women will say "this guy and I are just friends"... you ask her what the friendship is based on, and she really doesn't know (because it's not a friendship, it's a frustrated relationship).
Sure, why not? I've got a few male friends. When I was younger it was harder, but I think as I've gotten older it's easier for me to have male friends without any expectations of it turning into something else, and if feelings do come up they're way more manageable.
I've always had a lot of female friends. (That is, women who're friends without any romantic connection – past, present, or future. Though, I've had the other variety too.) I tend to prefer women's company, generally speaking. They're far better listeners.
Guys don't do emotions. I pity the men who can't have female friends.
Depends on the guy and what he wants. For any kind of relationship to work, both people have to agree. If the guy is constantly angling for more, then no. If the woman is shutting down his ability to have an intimate relationship with a different woman, than no. Both are the cliche things that happen...
If they agree, then sue.