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"You raise your voice when you should reinforce your argument." - Samuel Johnson

I think the same can be said of personal insults, but sometimes it's difficult not to fall below par!

girlwithsmiles 8 July 31

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Often times I find myself reacting emotionally ... that's when I raise my voice. Once I back away and let the emotions subside (this has been known to take days), I then can respond in a logical, rational fashion.

My rule of thumb is make no decisions or remain in a conflicted exchange while pissed off. Letting time and space before returning to topic or unrelated decision the issue has less significance and things flow again. I have noticed the more I do this the shorter the time / space required.

Yes, when working with young men we used to run some anger management courses which taught that you cannot deal with a situation as effectively when angry. Things like: counting to ten; taking time out from the situation; listening to a piece of music; or going for a walk/ workout were all said to be ways to help.
But luckily most people don't get aggressive when angry, especially when sober/ straight.


Sometimes, the best response is silence. I long outgrew juvenile repartee, but will tease in a friendly way. 🙂


Dialog over argument, kindness over insults. Isn't life hard enough?


I'll conduct myself however I damned well please in any discussion.
If it escalates to an argument, so be it.
If I raise my voice, you weren't listening.
If I'm on the verge of insulting you, I'm going to walk away.
You aren't worth the jail time.

That's one of the best things about the net...only the really peed off are going to turn up at your place 😉


name calling gets a bum rap. most arguments settle nothing anyway ... no one's mind is changed and they eventually lead to name calling. So I skip the middle process and go straight to the names. It saves me time and mental energy that I could be using on weed smoking and contemplating the universe.


I never raise my voice, or insult some one to win an argument or a discussion.
I'd rather be calm and present the facts as well as I think, and i am open to hear what they might have to say. every now and then their points may change my mind, maybe I might change theirs. I'm always open minded. An I generally like to have discussions with people that do the same

If some one starts with the insults to me, I'll just walk away, or if some one tries to troll me in a post, I simply won't respond. I just refuse to give them the satisfaction.


This will be an unpopular opinion but I think insults are often a very useful tactic in an argument. Let me explain as it depends on your ultimate goal.

If your ultimate goal is to win an argument changing the mind of someone, who are you looking to "win" over? Is it the party you're arguing with or is it an audience listening to both of you? In both cases properly positioned insults can be hugely beneficial.
In the case of trying to win over an audience, it's easy to see that insulting your opponent (as long as it is insightful or humorous) your audience will appreciate it as they are not the subject of the insult. It degrades the view of your opponent and the viewing party will begin to side with you as the mentality to be drawn to the strong.
When attempting to win over an opponent, this is much more risky however a well timed light insult can throw off their argument and push them off balance. It's useful sometimes as if you imagine an argument as a battle, properly balancing offense and defense is a necessity. This happens in poker considered putting someone "on tilt" and is a strategic maneuver. Calling a high bet with a bad set of cards and getting lucky, then later showing your hand to your opponent is a sign of disrespect and purposefully upsetting. Later that opponent is more likely to bet and call out of anger than skill, and therefore lose more money in the game. Like I said it is risky but if done properly, you can definitely rope the person back in and then win the debate. Sometimes people may consider the end result worth the less honorable tactics.

Mmm that's interesting too, I remember calling someone an, 'old bas@6rd' once and laughing and to my absolute surprise they laughed too, people are strange.

Yep. I had a Viet Nam vet as a supervisor a few years ago that everyone hated. I called him a crusty old ba$t@rd one day, and he bought me coffee every morning after.


Maybe Sam had got to the stage where he had a retinue of yes-men when he wrote that!


I think I handle arguments and insults differentially than most.
Arguments is an angry discussion, that is not efficient for finding middle grounds, and lacks being friendly. I calm them down or move on.

I can not be insulted because.I am either learning or confirming something I can adjust . Or if it is BS, just ignore it.



Sometimes the other person has stolen the bar, beat a few baby seals with it, then buried it 10 ft below the earths surface. At that point, screw the bar.

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