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The best revenge really is living well. My ex in laws were just sure the "bad financial" decisions were all mine.

So now the ex is living in half of an old ratty trailer house in a pretty sketchy area. And he has a 1999 car he bought at a buy here, no credit place.

I have a nice two bedroom apartment all to myself and my car is a 2016. And I can totally afford both.

Here's the thing though, when I started my job I made less than half of what he made. I still don't make as much as he did but apparently the bad financial decisions weren't mine.

sewchick57 7 Aug 5

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Several years after my divorce , I got a phone call saying I was a co-respondent on a failure to pay on my credit card . I had made a habit of paying off my credit card in full , and on time , every month , so I was shocked . Turned out it was my ex's credit card . I had been removed when we separated , and eventually he had remarried and added his new wife . When the company had sent it to a collection agency , instead of sending the new signature cards , they had sent the original signature cards . Funny part is I had worked in a bank and set up savings and checking accounts in my name . When I married I added my husband to my accounts . When we separated , I was not allowed to remove his name . I had to close out the accounts and open new ones in my name alone . When I had added his name to them , because he was the male , he became the primary owner of the accounts - so he had outstanding credit record , since I was the one making the bill payments , while I had none . Those stupid credit companies screwed themselves .

You know, it really tends to piss me off that married women can't be the primary account holder for banks and credit cards and stuff.

@sewchick57 I don't know if that's still the case , as it's been a very long time since I was married . I also remembered it was merely a matter of filling out a request for credit form to get credit as a very young couple , where as an adult female , with a job history of some eight years , and no bills or defaults , it was very difficult to establish credit in my own name .

@Cast1es My name was on a credit card, a house and a car so credit was being reported in my name. A lot of it wasn't good for awhile though.I didn't even try to get a loan for anything for 4 years after I started my job. My car was on its deathbed so I had to do something. Fortunately there is a local credit union that does car loans that I got approved thru. My name was on a car loan at that credit union that had gotten paid off a couple of years ago so that helped too. It does take a few years to get good credit again after being tied to a financial disaster for 22 years.


Being happy is the best revenge. It’s hard but don’t care about them... just be grateful for what you have and have accomplished.


Same. My ex made me feel like I needed him, in a lot of ways, including financially. But it turns out he spent more than he made! He was always secretive about what he earned, helped himself to bank accounts and racked up thousands in debt on joint accounts that he left me to pay.

We never had enough of anything, I was constantly worried about paying the rent and providing for our kid. Anything I needed I put off for weeks or months. I knew we would never have a house or decent cars or vacations. I thought that was just life. Turns out it was life WITH HIM.

Since our split he has been evicted and had a car repoed. He now works at Burger King (in his 40s), lives in government housing ($12/month) and I am almost done paying off debt he was supposed to be responsible for.

I hear ya ! You ARE the stronger person .


Ah, it was so sweet to watch my ex-in-laws wailing "We didn't raise him this way" as he dived head first into a gutter of drink, drugs and evil greedy bitches, and lived thereafter like a pig in hell. It took him about a decade and a half to become a sorry mess, ruin his reputation, and drink himself to death. Yep, there was a worse fate than me - himself!


I would like to hear his side of the story.

Which part do you want to hear about? The part where he spent a week in the psych ward and then a year homeless? Or maybe the part where he finally got an actual job after 2 years and within 4 paychecks got fired for theft? There's a whole lot of crazy to this story.

@sewchick57 I really meant him telling his side of the story.

@brentan Hell, I don't even know his side of the story!! Good luck with that. He refused to communicate with me.

@sewchick57 same. I literally can’t imagine what my ex tells people because the only thing I can be sure of is he wouldn’t tell anyone the truth!

@A2Jennifer My ex wouldn't know the truth if it crawled up his ass and died. He lies to everyone including his own mother.


Good for you! Feels good, doesn't it? Was similar for me, too.

And the very best part is you don't have to do anything other than just go on with your happy life.


I'm currently in the dividing process. We are ending fairly equally in assets. I really don't want to hate her but she hates me. Hey, if hating me makes you feel better your over a thousand miles away. Hate all you want, it isn't hurting me. Seriously, if it makes you feel better go for it. Oh my, after a couple beers I'm a treat aren't I. I'm retired and had to get a job so I guess it isn't all roses. Tonight is my only night off working third shift six nights. Hence, the Budweiser mood therapy.


Glad you've figured it out. Even when it's a dish best served cold, living well is a better choice.


I hear ya and I see it, but this is in reverse with my ex and myself. She has a nice apartment and a newer car, maxed out credit cards, and lots of clothes and shoes.
I'm in a 2 bedroom mobile with an older car, I have what I want and need, but my 2 credit cards are like money if I need it. I use them enough to keep them active and pay everything on time. My US Bank card alone is able to get me $18,000 and I have money in the bank. If I need things I can buy them and in most cases just write out the check. My ex does not understand how I do this and she is very well aware that I can.
Talking to a friend on the phone the other day and he told me he hadn't had a beer in 2 months. The guy makes more money than I do and I told him I had just finished 4 pints of English Pub Ale.

Having maxed out credit cards really isn't living well though. It's more like living high on the hog and eventually, ummm, well, the chickens will come home to roost.

@sewchick57 I know. She is not from this country and she likes nice things. Her mom used to have a dress shop and used her as a model. Put this together with how everything is better in America, etc. I think that is how it happened but people from here can also do worse. Her and I are still friends but I can no longer help her. It's all up to her now.

I think he may have been bragging about not being an alcoholic , not complaining that he couldn't afford to buy beer .

@Cast1es The "friend" that I mentioned used to drink a lot and do a lot of dope. What stops him today is that he don't know how to manage his money. He often gets his electric turned off for non-payment.


The best revenge is living well, always has been.........

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