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Just a few things that have been on my mind

  1. I think it is just fine for a parent to take their children out on dates. In our increasingly busy lives, taking time to put down the cell phone and devote some time to your family is important. There is nothing more important than making sure our children know how much they are loved. I often take my sons on "dates," we go for a drive, go to dinner, go see a movie. I can't be with them 24 hours a day, and it is my way to connect, let them talk to me, tell me things about how they are feeling, what they want. Some of the deepest understanding of who my children are as people come from these "dates!" So Kudos to those parents that take the time in whatever fashion it takes to learn about the independent person their child is growing into! Don't make it creepy!

  2. What is so wrong about letting a boys hair grow long, or cutting a girls hair short? It is just hair. My son's hair was long, and when he wanted it short we cut it short, no big deal. I have a brother that got kicked out of school for having long hair, this same brother also had a mohawk at one point. Don't shame a parent for not making a child conform to others idea of how they should look.

By Tamresa5
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18 comments

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0

It sounds like you are doing a wonderful job as a parent. Thank you for helping your kids turn into the great adults they will be.

Holysocks Level 7 Aug 26, 2018
0

Your kids, your rules..... as long as no one is hurting anyone in any way shape of form. Other than that, take them on a "date" to spend time with them, heck if they want to tag along then enjoy, they won't always want to do that.... long hair, short hair, no hair, green hair...again, their choice. If they get bully then they will learn something too. Life is just too damn short..... keep thriving the best way you can.

IamNobody Level 8 Aug 26, 2018
1

As a divorced Dad of two girls, I would routinely take turns taking one daughter on a date. Its good bonding, plus having just one at a time is good for both parents. Amazing how they act when not fighting with a sibling.

lol so true! I will sometimes take either my niece or nephew for a sleepover when they are driving my brother crazy with their fighting! So I feel you there!

1

I think it is great to spend one on one time. If you don’t want to have people think it’s creepy just call it “mom and son day”, it’s the word “date” that makes it creepy. In our culture, “date” has a romantic connotation.

Let you kid do what he wants with his hair. He will appreciate your support. Ignore the stares and comments of less accepting people. It will be a good lesson in “not caring what other people think”.

It sounds like you are doing a great job raising your son!

LeslieV2 Level 5 Aug 25, 2018
1

I think it is great to spend one on one time. If you don’t want to have people think it’s creepy just call it “mom and son day”, it’s the word “date” that makes it creepy. In our culture, “date” has a romantic connotation.

Let you kid do what he wants with his hair. He will appreciate your support. Ignore the stares and comments of less accepting people. It will be a good lesson in “not caring what other people think”.

It sounds like you are doing a great job raising your son!

LeslieV2 Level 5 Aug 25, 2018
1

Exactly! I have 4 grown kids. I'd take them out individually on a "mom & whoever" day. They all loved it. And I did too. Great way to bond and make them feel special.

1

Spot on.. I also allowed one day each semester for rejuvenating

EvaV Level 7 Aug 25, 2018
3

You only get to be a kid once. Let them learn who they are, instead of being told who they are. Hair grows and changes. One of my kids Koolaide dyed her very blonde hair RED. It stained. And it grew out. She learned a hell of a lesson and I have pictures! (And an old diary. She will never have kids of her own... I have too much evidence) But the gift of yourself, your time and attention is more precious than any toy. I have all girls, they got cell phones when they got their licenses. We thought it just safer that way. I was a SAHM (stay at home mom) while they grew up. They tell you the most amazing stuff after 10 PM. I was lucky to be able to stay up and listen to them. My kids are now amazing young adults with families of their own. They still like to hang with mom, and 2 out of 3 gave me grandkids. They grew up to be strong responsible amazing young women.

4

I took my daughter on a "Daddy Daughter Date" every year for her birthday. We got dressed up, went to a fancy restaurant and I used it as an opportunity to explain how she should be treated, build her self worth and how to have meaningful conversation. We stopped around the time she turned 14, but I get to keep the pictures.

Special outings build self esteem in a world where it is easy to tear down.

ThisGuy Level 6 Aug 24, 2018
1
  1. I am not a parent. I greatly desire to be one. I would create future logs of suggestions for the day, sometimes rewards for practices, which would be a barrage of exposure to healthy pursuits and learning. They would just be suggestions for the day, I wouldn't be a drill sergeant and they would have a childhood, it wouldn't be scheduled in any framework, but such things as getting dirty and catching new bugs and learning about them or figuring out how stars form would be encouraged. I would groom them for intelligence, and love them no matter what. Amongst the exposure barrages if something were to click I would facilitate their pursuit until their specialization was too hard to keep up with. I feel I myself would grow immensely facilitating such endeavors. Yet, we are all specialized, usually excelling at something close to our interests if we've found it. At any rate, no matter who they are, even though I wouldn't live through them vicariously, the child would be my life and my focus and of course there would be large helpings of love and stupid dad jokes.

  2. I absolutely despise gender roles. I recognize the difference, but assigning rigid propriety is divisive. I myself am male and carry a purse wherever I go... they're useful. On average, men or physically dominant because physiologically the males soul pursuit is ecological fitness while females devote their physiology to reproduce. Men more often readily don abstract pursuits while women seem to be more grounded in social concerns. The thing is though, watch out if a woman applies herself to anything, she might very well achieve it, whether the practice is male dominated or not, if a woman pursues it, she is a force to reckon with. As far as males being physically dominant, there are probably somewhere around 1.8 billion women on the planet that could kick my ass and when we look at jogging that number mindbogglingly sky-rockets.
    Because women physiologically seem to understand the irreducible dignity of life as their bodies are the gateways into the physical realm they seem to more readily recognize that a practice of nurturance is a healthy human need. While males start behind as hormonal lecherous base-brains. Women just seem to have more going for them with any criteria that is respectable to apply. So, even as I despise rigid proprietorial gender roles, I kinda see women as dominant, as the filthy nature of man often manifests as manipulative, abusive, controlling, isolating, violent and possessive.

2

I'm 53, and even though we live very far away, I go up north somewhere between thanksgiving and christmas. for about a week.
She I and my step dad do all kinds of things together. see a movie, take a walk through the gardens. have some great food, I used to be a chef, so I like to treat them to something really nice. then usuall we'll have a glass of wine or two, and watch some Game of Thrones or some other show we like.
it's great that we still get to do that.\

How awesome it that, I sure hope that when my sons are your age they will still want to do that. My oldest is only 26(almost) and we still do, I hope it continues, even after marriage, kids the whole lot.

2

My 27yr old son and I are doing dinner and a movie when The Predator comes out. Personally, I don't care what you call it, just don't take them to those purity balls that were popular amongst some Christians a few years ago. THOSE were creepy.

kiramea Level 7 Aug 24, 2018

Those do sound creepy! My son and I did the whole dinner and a movie thing with Godzilla, the 2nd one, and we may do it again when the new one comes out!

1

I agree completely. My daughter and I do movie and a dinner once a month or so.

As to the hair thing. My son did most of the rainbow in hair color. Guess what? The sun still rises and It grew out. Now he’s running with a standard cut. All his decision.

TexLC Level 4 Aug 24, 2018

That is so great you both make the time to keep in touch. Rainbow, cool, I want purple and teal!

1

I'm not quite sure why you need to call them "dates". I mean, going to the movie's with your kids is just fine but normally I think the term "date" has a romantic connotation.

As far as hair, yeah you do you kid.

I didn't call them dates, we called them going for a drive, going out to dinner, etc, that is why I used the quotation marks, but I saw an article that did call them dates, and I just thought it was so unfair to shame a Dad over letting his daughter be a little princess. thanks for reading and commenting! smile001.gif

1

My grandfather made mean comments about my brother's long hair once. I asked him if he would have said that about Jesus's hair? It pissed him off but he never said a word about my brother's hair again.

I like to take my son out. I don't see why anyone would have an issue with a parent spending time with their child.

Paracosm Level 8 Aug 24, 2018

Good For You!!!!

1

Not really a choice for many of us "Saturday dads". My daughter still has to live down dragging me to see "Miley Cyrus the movie"

273kelvin Level 8 Aug 24, 2018

I bet that is a funny story! Good for you, good for her!

1

I still do this with my kids, even though now they are 27 and 33. Keep the good habits in place, and they turn into a lifelong point of contact. As for hair length, I went through that shit back in the 60's and 70's, and I thought it was stupid back then. The years have not turned any controversy over the length of someone's hair into a defensible position.

zeuser Level 8 Aug 24, 2018

Glad to hear it! I still go places with my sons, we sometimes start with dinner, go to a movie, then take a long drive, I have found sometimes going for a drive is the best way to get my boys to talk to me about things it is hard to talk about, even with such a cool mom as I am! smile009.gif
Hair, I think it is one of the silliest things to get upset about. It seems it is always "too" something; long, short, natural, bright, damaged, healthy. Really people aren't there better things to get worked up about? If you want to get worked up about something, there are so many other things that ARE important.

5

If they aren't paying your bills, they don't get to weigh in on how you're raising your kids.

KKGator Level 9 Aug 24, 2018

Short, sweet and to the point! Love it!

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