I my self am here for both community and the possibility of meeting a like minded, non-delusional individual. Sorry that you have to suffer with individuals who are to lazy to take the time to read your profile. The first thing I do when I see someone I am possibly interested in is read their profile.....duh!!!!!

One learns something every day. I didn't realise that there is a 'Here for Community' button. This site is laid out as a dating site and often it is hard to answer the questions outside of that context.

I'm open to meeting men but I get private msgs from all types of people, some from those "here for community ". I don't think men are as intelligent as women in this regard. What can you do?

No offense, but you are beautiful, especially for the animal rescue, but I believe that often people see only what they want to see. They convince themselves that they are the exception, that somehow it does not apply to them. After all it is then, right? We all build stories of our life in our mind where we are the heroes and if we go about things right we will get what we desire, often neglecting the very real people involved. Especially when it is online interactions.

I dunno. Some dudes like to cast a wide net. If he can't take no for an answer, that's on him.

It should not be a big deal at all. I think we are here to talk, otherwise I don't see any other. Dating? Even when living in the same city is hard with busy life and hectic schedule. My point is, you talk to whoever for as long as it suits you. The minute the conversation goes off the road then you are in control and its your choice to stop talking. We all are adults but I understand there will be always the troll or weirdo pushing the envelope. Those you block and there is no need to feel bad about it. Again, I think its important for you and everyone who see not so pleasant reactions from conversations that you are the one in control. Of course there are basic common sense rules that go without saying like never never never release personal details or information like phone number and address if that person has not fully earned trust. Long story short, keep talking and don't penalize everyone because of few bad apples. Take care ?

I think I'm the majority here who do take someones community status seriously, it's a shame about the few. It's easier for a man without the harassment the women seem to have to endure. I don't really believe there's much potential in dating sites anyway, the anonymity gives the crazies a chance to shine. I've said I'm open to meeting women as you just never know but I'm not too serious about that side of things, especially with most of you hotties being half a planet away!! Community only is probably more accurate, but it feels like an uneccessary restriction. If I was a woman in the same circumstances I imagine I'd quite quickly be ditching the dating option too! But yeah anyone I get to know and meet while I'm visiting the provinces (sorry, couldn't resist ? ), let's just be friends and have a scream with no amorous undertones. If real chemistry took over I'd have some expensive life changing decisions to just do but thats no way to plan a holiday! I guess I should be updating my placeholder profile info rather than typing here I've got a bit carried away and hijacked your topic sorry!

I honestly had no idea this was a dating site when I signed up. I heard about it on our local atheist FB page and I thought I would check it out. I don’t think about it that much as a dating site but have enjoyed the community. Of course, if I happened to meet a great guy.. that would be fine too.

I do read the profiles but wait for a woman to contact me and not vice versa. I like my partners or playmates be open to me and not pressured by me.

I assume most people take them seriously... Or I hope they do at least... One bad apple and all that... And ironically. The original phrase was that one bad apple DOES spoil the bunch, despite what the popular song may claim. Lol

Sometimes we forget how hard it can be when one is attractive when there are so few of you remaining. That is a problem that I would like to experience. I hope your post gives you some relief. Peace.

Life is an adventure, it's not a guided tour. Maybe start a dedicated chat room? There's no way to filter the world that I know of. It is what it is. You put up with people and people put up with you. That's how it works.

Sounds to me like you have a good attitude about everything. Keep it up!

Matter of perspective.

As a guy living in the middle of nowhere, this website is primarily a tool to enjoy the input from rational (not theists) people and troll the occasional theist that leaves his slime trail on these pages.

Do whatcha gotta, block who you have to. And have fun YOUR way !

I am about to change to "here for community" myself, as i seem to have fallen in love with a friend right here under my feet. Others put that because they are married or otherwise involved....

You make some really great points. Food for thought. I think it’s important to make friends and then build relationships.

I'm here because I enjoy the people here. If the other thing happens, great. If not, no worries. It's all good.

Don’t get any messages as I don’t have time for bullshit. I find dating utter bullshit.

Most cis, hetero men just go for the profile photo of the cutest, youngest female they can find, and often begin trying to seduce them asap by any means possible.

If they do read a profile..wait. I've never encountered a male who ever read mine first before messaging me.

Yeah, that's annoying I'm sure. It's a complex problem, too. Guys are supposed to be the ones to put their necks out there when meeting. Because of that, we are supposed to be brave and handle the constant rejection inherent in that kind of set up. Some people build odd algorithms to deal with the problem - just carpet bomb the profiles and see who responds, find attractive people and try to say something that fits the texture of romance seen in pop culture, go online and vent hopping someone is feeling maternal... most of the approaches are inefficient and hint at social maladjustment. I'm sure it's no party for women either.

As long as we default to these cultural norms, this is the result. I could think of some better ways for us to do this stuff, but few want to change. So, here we are stuck on the proverbial hamster wheel.

Maybe tell people in your profile to connect with you in posts prior to hitting on you. You can then shut them down in posts. If they don't connect with you there first, then they didn't read your profile and just delete straight away. That could minimize you having to review the contacts and keep things social. It wouldn't fix anything, but it might help.

Best of luck to you!

I immediately block people who message me and have on their profile that they are "believers".
It weeds out the scammers who are just looking for vulnerable people to exploit.
If they can't get the believer/non-believer part right in their profile on an Agnostic website, they aren't worth my time.

My status has always been "Here For Community".
I have only been approached with overt solicitations, for anything other than friendship, twice.
Most of the long-time members here are extremely respectful of the status of others. The two times I was "hit-up", were both by members who were brand new.

One person was polite and backed off immediately when I explained that I was not here for dating, and I was flattered, but uninterested, in his intentions.
The other, not so much, and had to be blocked.

I don't know if it's because I don't have an actual picture of myself posted, or if it's because I'm older, or because my status actually registers, or they've read some of posts and decided "fuck no!", it doesn't matter. The fact remains that I'm only here for community, and if someone chooses to ignore that, they get what they get. I don't have to be nice. Neither do you.
Some folks don't handle rejection well. Too bad, they should have respected that you aren't interested.

There are people who don’t understand what this site is for.... just block or ignore. I have found a lot of people who just want community... keep looking. I am open to both so, it is a bit different for me.

You are right to be disturbed. Still, there are a lot of people who are on this site for sharing thoughts , intellectual stimulation, and interesting conversation. When I look at a person's profile, I am looking for more information as to whether or not this is a person I would be interested in conserving with over time.