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Today I was accused of slut shaming. I am bothered by this even though I was trying to be funny in a hubba hubba hubba kind of way. I feel like I need to take some time away. People are sensitive and I wasn't in tune to that.
Even after I explained the meaning (which makes it not funny) I still got the label. I always think of myself here as pretty neutral and I have used my time here constructively, but if I don't understand where I am overstepping then I don't want to step at all.
Apologies for being an idiot. Slut shaming is nothing I have ever done intentionally.

By Akfishlady8
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21 comments

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8

Oh hell no! Don’t you go!

AmiSue Level 8 Aug 29, 2018
8

I missed it.

I really don't want you to go, but you do what you gotta do.
smile003.gif

6

I have left groups here due to one member completely misinterpreting my intent on one post. Another due to a bully just this week! Came to my senses, blocked her and rejoined.
Reality is I gave far too much weight to their response to me.
Look at the source. Don’t apologize for what you haven’t done.

AmiSue Level 8 Aug 29, 2018
5

Whatever you were trying to convey fell flat. It happens to everyone. A "my bad" is usually sufficient remedy. Unless, someone is looking for an opportunity to be offended. What you describe is usually what happens in this case.

The more you try to remedy the situation, the worse they will try to make you look and feel.

I recommend you ignore it once you have honestly explained yourself. After that point, the least said, the soonest mended. It will fade soon enough.

5

Well, here is the thing. You should not apologize for something you didn't do. People want to be offended, let them do their thing. We cannot control how people will react but we know what we meant to say and if we know we didn't mean any harm then it's all good. Don't be so hard on yourself. We will always need your lake scenery pictures and your stories !!!! Cheers

IamNobody Level 8 Aug 29, 2018
5

Why can’t we shame people anymore?

interesting question.

@hankster serious question, too

@AMGT I agree with the article. It is odd, though, to be described as slut shaming. Being called a slut because of being an assertive female is not what I thought slut shaming would be. That seems more like the assignment of particular slurs based on sex of the target, which absolutely can be problematic.

I may be attributing too much validity to the movement in question. It just seems like there was a major push a few years prior against the act of shaming. Maybe it was just a couple of memes that I saw. I’m not big into shaming people (I do judge and have opinions of others), but it seems like there was a shame shaming thing going on.

@NothinnXpreVails I think I'm going to throw it in there with bullying... shaming may not be as popular anymore because of a greater tolerance perhaps for people who might be overweight or not the most athletic or not very smart or whatever.... and less tolerance for bullying.

5

Hope you reconsider. Those who benefit by your being here very likely exceed those who do not. I will miss you greatly if you leave and really hope that you don't.

Zster Level 8 Aug 29, 2018
5

I don't believe for a minute you want to hurt anyone....well maybe....if they got it coming, not sure really. Anyway, its great having you here. You belong here as much as any of us. If you choose to put it down, please pick it up sometimes.

hankster Level 9 Aug 29, 2018

an additional comment I would like to make. a remark regarding the Accuser.... this is what came to mind....“He that is without sin among you, let him first cast a stone at her.”

5

I can't see that happening unless a misperception. I applaud your choice though I wish you'd stick around- I enjoy your contributions.

Byrdsfan Level 8 Aug 29, 2018
5

I don't think I've ever seen you intentionally harm another. And perhaps that's all you need to say?

Seems like online someone can come along and start screaming long before you realize you might have put a foot down wrong.

Maybe that's all you need to say. "Sorry - That's not what I intended.".

There are times I kid with people and then hold my breath because they can't hear me.

RavenCT Level 9 Aug 29, 2018
4

I hope you'll reconsider, but you have to do what you think is best.

JimG Level 8 Aug 29, 2018
4

I do not see you as being capable of slut shaming. Other people being over-sensitive is a reflection of their own personal issues.

irascible Level 8 Aug 29, 2018
3

I dumbly made a completely inappropriate comment to a friend on this site and was immediately called out for it, and rightfully so. I immediately apologized, but it was too late and I lost a really great friend. I’m sure I’m not the only one who has inadvertently said or done something stupid and I’m deeply disappointed that this friend wasted no time in turning me out, but now realize that this is life, so I hope this will help me in the future.

ezwryder Level 7 Aug 29, 2018

I've done that before, intended as a joke, but coincidental occurrences beyond my awareness made it all look sinister. That sucks! I feel your pain!!

3

I tried shut shaming on my girlfriend. It's not working yet. She is still talking.

Anonbene Level 8 Aug 29, 2018
2

Oh , ok , I was wondering what , "shut shaming ," was . I think your ID was one of the first I began to recognize , when I first signed on . Always good vibes . Please don't go . We each make mistakes now and then . None of us are perfect . Your apology and correction for your misunderstanding or theirs is more than enough . Please don't leave us .

Cast1es Level 8 Aug 29, 2018
2

Don't be silly. Just block 'em & be done with 'em. We can't change everyone to have our sense of humor. Take a break as I was forced to do. But do not give them the power over you by letting them drive you away from here. PC has gone rampant as the pin heads can't discern humor from insult. Screw 'em.

Mooolah Level 8 Aug 29, 2018
2

Can you send me to where this happened on the site?

kmdskit3 Level 8 Aug 29, 2018

@Akfishlady Ok. I would hate to see you go. Not saying you did this or not but I've said some stupid shit here too. Peace.

1

Don't go because of a misunderstanding I enjoy your comments and would be lost without them. We have lost so many great people and I am not sure why we are loosing them?You are doing just find and contribute very much.

Marine Level 8 Aug 30, 2018
1

I believe you, totally. I agree with most of the other posters, please stay. You're like my sister from another mother. How will I get my PNW fix if you go? The trouble with print is that it is hard to hear tone or convey emotion. People will read and hear it in what their mindset is, not as you intended it. Whenever I feel an affront coming on, I will back off and reread, and if I can't reconcile it I will ask for clarification. No one in a print group media should take immediate offense. Some folks are just thin skinned or having a rough day. Now if you get this everyday, then maybe you need a tone check, but I've never read anything from you that made me raise my eyebrows or lower them either. Please stay.

1

Someone here is a slut? Can you give us a hint who it might be? I would like to give her thorough tongue lashing. ?

Anonbene Level 8 Aug 29, 2018
1

Hope you reconsider. Those who benefit by your being here very likely exceed those who do not. I will miss you greatly if you leave and really hope that you don't.

Zster Level 8 Aug 29, 2018
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