My genuine deepest sympathies for you during this time.

Recently, I read a very touch letter by Car Sagan's wife on his passing way back when. It touches on exactly what you outlined on that feeling wanting to see them again. I'd highlight it, but read the whole thing, hoping it helps with finding solace:

*“When my husband died, because he was so famous & known for not being a believer, many people would come up to me — it still sometimes happens — & ask me if Carl changed at the end & converted to a belief in an afterlife. They also frequently ask me if I think I will see him again. Carl faced his death with unflagging courage & never sought refuge in illusions. The tragedy was that we knew we would never see each other again. I don’t ever expect to be reunited with Carl. But, the great thing is that when we were together, for nearly twenty years, we lived with a vivid appreciation of how brief & precious life is. We never trivialized the meaning of death by pretending it was anything other than a final parting. Every single moment that we were alive & we were together was miraculous — not miraculous in the sense of inexplicable or supernatural. We knew we were beneficiaries of chance… That pure chance could be so generous & so kind… That we could find each other, as Carl wrote so beautifully in Cosmos, you know, in the vastness of space & the immensity of time… That we could be together for twenty years. That is something which sustains me & it’s much more meaningful…

The way he treated me & the way I treated him, the way we took care of each other & our family, while he lived. That is so much more important than the idea I will see him someday. I don’t think I’ll ever see Carl again. But I saw him. We saw each other. We found each other in the cosmos, and that was wonderful.“
— Ann Druyan

That's part of the reason for the existence of religion to begin with, a coping mechanism for grief.

I'm so sorry for your loss. Sometimes, for sure. Being a child and believing in magic was amazing and having that sense of wonder back would be really nice. I'm still low key waiting for my letter from Hogwarts (Jk, I'm way too old lol). I've come to believe that even religious people don't fully believe in their religion. I mean, I don't see a lot of smiles at a funeral or anyone excited for death. It seems like many of them at least have some doubt or hesitation.

No I don’t want to blindly believe. So sorry for your loss. This community is here for you if you need us.

My most sincere condolences to you and your family on the losses.

My mother was a devout Christian. I knew she believed in heaven, but I did not.

Standing over her casket at the funeral, all I could say was, "I loved you, and you loved me, and in the end that is what really mattered."

I found great comfort in those words.

No . My father is always w me when I need him . Every x I pass to strangers and / or the youth things that he said , things that he taught me .., he is " alive ". I have no use for afterlife . And the dead are not special bcz of death in my book .
when things get dark and sad and troubles arrive, my close friends are a text or a call or a plane away . And I don't need to know that some how my dad is still looking after me . What I do know , is that after a cup of coffee and a walk , I have the option to consider " what the hell dad will have done or said if in my shoes right now ". And that's all I need when it comes to losing a loved one .

I can see where you would want to believe something to ease the pain. I probably would too in your situation. But I don't think I would be able to go back to believing in a diety unless I saw actual proof of one. Once you see through the sham, you can't go back.

It would be nice to see my son again, but I live in reality.

Yeah, in a way I’d like to be able to believe in such things for comfort. I have to say, I don’t really understand why religious people should grieve at all. If you truly believe your loved one is in heaven, then what’s there to grieve about? Seems like doing so kind of exposes your doubts.

I like to "believe" with eyes wide open, as far as the comfort aspect is concerned. I don't think it's helpful to believe things that aren't true, but when taken metaphorically, the "comforter" mentioned in the Bible is an actual thing... in human psychology. It's available to those who have the courage and determination to find it. Meanwhile I hope you find peace somewhere in your grieving process. In the past I have found that, to my surprise, grief can have an element of renewal embedded in it.

Very sorry for your losses.
No, believing in something unreal would not give me comfort. I am comforted by reality and certainty.

My grandparents died one day apart. I feel your pain. Just remember they are part of you. Anything they taught you, experiences you shared, memories are all part of you now. If related by blood their DNA is in you. They carry on through you. You are their legacy. I find comfort in that.

Condolences to you. That's tough.
Yes, sometimes I do wish I could live in the State of Denial......I hear it is a great place to reside!

Your loved ones are alive in your memory, and it's the memories of them that help guide us in all that we do. I find comfort in that.

I am sorry that you must go through this. I don't have the desire to believe ever, but it's okay that you do. Everything about your grieving is your unique experience. It's all okay.

Nope. In fact, the way religious people are too casual about someone dying bothers me. The last funeral I went to was 90% about the jesus, 8% on some bible shit, and 2% about the person who had passed, which pissed me off to no end.

Well that’s why there are such things as religion. To hell with that sort of thing. It helps humans cope with something other than facing the face of death.

My sincere sympathies for the pain you're going through. To answer your question, no, I'd rather endure an unpleasant truth than to take solace in a comforting falsehood.

I personally can’t fathom a reality for myself where an afterlife in which I am in no way shape or form myself anymore sounds nice. A place where there’s no pain or sorrow? So.... your deceased love ones are looking down on you right now happy and thoroughly enjoying any suffering, shortcomings or trauma you endure? Supposedly because it’ll “pay off in the end”. I couldn’t tell you one close family member of mine, when asked if they would be okay with being in endless bliss and happiness, for the sake of being entirely ignorant to the fact those whom they love are experiencing turmoil, said yes. Being subjected to that for all eternity would be torture for me. I am so much more at peace knowing the my late loved ones passed away, and will always remain, the person they were until they died. That’s just my view.

Nope..just can't get my head wrapped around the concept... I do believe it religion and its truest form it's meant to be a pathway up enlightenment to oneself unfortunately most times it's not use that way but rather a sword and a shield to put down or Slaughter those who don't believe in the same Relic as they do... I rather woke as life on a scientific point of view we are all made up of energy energy cannot be destroy only used from one place to another So to that understanding life does go on.... I am sorry for your loss we all grieve in our own ways....

Sorry for your loss.

As for wishing for belief in an imaginary afterlife?

Not at all.

I require facts over fiction.

The afterlife belief "cheapens the value of the one life we know we have." for example, If we treat people like trash and believe in an afterlife, we can always make it right after we die.

I have a good friend that is a Hospice nurse. When death is near and they call in the Catholic priests for last rights, If the person was married but did not pay the church enough money to make the first wedding "never have happened", the priest refuses last rights and my friend's patients (several people) spend the last few days in horrific fear because they believe they will burn in hell forever because they did not make the church happy.

No. Just remember the good memories. That brings comfort.

I hear what you say, however..having really tried to be a “believer”, I finally had to admit to myself that I was pretending/playing a role. To me, wishing for the ability to blindly believe is akin to wishing I was not intellectually curious. And, blind, unquestioning belief/faith to me means don’t ask questions or look beneath the surface of an issue. So, no, can’t say I ever wish to be less intelligent.

Condolences. The way I always think about it is that death is the only guarantee in life. If you lose someone and it hurts, that's because they made that much of a positive impact. If it didn't hurt you wouldn't care to have lost them. It's the price of being lucky enough to have someone great in your life. So when someone passes it should hurt, and that sucks.

Yes during times like that I am envious. I don't have that comfort. When my Mom died, that was it. My Mom is dead and I will never see her again. My sister, who is Catholic was a lot more peaceful about it because she firmly believes we will all be together again.