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Early this week, two of my close family members passed away within 24 hours of each other. Going through the grieving process with my family, some of whom are very religious, I can’t help but be a bit envious of their ability to believe in a deity. It gives them quite a bit of comfort “knowing” that they’ll see their loved ones again and that, until then, they’ll be watching over us. Does anyone else sometimes wish they could blindly believe?

Leeshi 7 Sep 6
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69 comments (26 - 50)

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2

Sorry for your losses.
Stay strong.

2

First, please accept my condolences for your losses. I'm very sorry.

I'm not convinced that it actually gives them as much comfort as they would like the world to believe. Sometimes it feels like people are working very hard out loud to convince themselves that the afterlife they wish for is real.

Do I wish I could just blindly believe? Sometimes I think I do wish that, considering my age and where I live. It would simplify my life to have a church community to lean on for support, and a larger circle of protective friends around me. I would enjoy that sense of community. It would definitely increase my chances of finding a compatible mate. So yeah, sometimes I wish that truth mattered less to me than it does.

Deb57 Level 8 Sep 6, 2018
2

No, I really don't. I don't want to ever just write off horrible things that happen with BS like:
It's god's will.
God is testing me.
You'll be rewarded in the afterlife.
Or bad people will get what's coming to them on Judgment Day.

Any time I find that religion would comfort me, I realize is just denial of reality.

JimG Level 8 Sep 6, 2018

I agree that I can’t reconcile any of those things. I just think it would be nice to believe that I might get to see the people that I love again and that there is a place for me that’s better than this

@Leeshi I think that's a big part of the reason why most people are so reluctant to let go of their beliefs.

Which religion would you choose though? If one were correct all the other's are wrong, and for most of us if not all of us, the afterlife isn't going to be very enjoyable.

2

I too wish to convey my sympathies, and state that I, like most of the others here, have never wished I believe that myths are anything but what they are......stories.
I think our loved ones live in our hearts and minds. Live a good life and you will have done your part in this life. You will live on in others hearts for a long time........generations perhaps.

2

Can't say that I do. It's just a fantasy. Sorry for your loss. I am sure you have good memories to keep.

2

First, I'm very sorry to hear of your loss. I think you know you have a whole community of support here to lean on, if you need it. =]

To answer your post, no, I don't need or want the comfort of fake heaven. All it really is is a mechanism to avoid reality and to avoid processing the true meaning of the loss. These people are not confronting the reality that everything those people were; the sum total of their life experience, their knowledge, their passions, their struggles, successes, failures, and any future potential they may have had are all gone. Lost forever.

Atheists & nonbelievers know this and have a greater appreciation for life itself as well as a greater appreciation and understanding of just what was lost. We face the reality, process the raw emotion and integrate that as a part of our life experience. That's my view, anyway.

I hope this is helpful.

It does help. Thank you

@Leeshi It's been a while since we chatted. Apart from this terrible thing you're going through, I hope you're doing well.

2

I did comment earlier but forgot to say I'm sorry for your loss stay strong.

Thank you

2

My thoughts on everyone going to heaven is there is also a hell and one is just as apt to go to hell as to heaven and no one would know until you are there. If you are christian, all non-christians are going to hell, if you are muslum, all non-muslums are going to hell, if you are protestant, all catholics are going to hell, if you are catholic, all protestants are going to hell, so it seems that everyone is going to hell.

2

I appreciate the thought, but I tried to blindly believe for 25 years. To me it's like really wanting to believe in Santa claus. It's great for 4 year old children, but I can't put the genie back in the bottle.

And there’s the rub. I know that it doesn’t make any sense and there is no evidence to support it, so I cannot believe. I just wish I could sometimes

@Leeshi lol well if I am wishing , I wish I was 40 but have all the money I have now.

2

No. I much prefer to think back on time spent with the person who died. And reflect on what they had done or accomplished during their time on this planet. What have they left behind (children, grandchildren, a successful business, a legacy of humanitarian works)? These realities are far more worthy than the idea that somehow they are in some unknown place doing some unknown thing with billions of other dead people who they don’t know waiting for me to die to join them. I always found the whole idea of an afterlife to be kind of ridiculous. Where is it? What is it? Why would I want to go there?

2

For me not really I want to be a star someday or at least the part of one got to get through the worm food stage first.

2

Your grieving will end the same time theirs will...when you die. They will grieve until then, so will you. You can look forward to the day you will no longer grieve...just like they do. See the deceased again or don’t see them again....either way, the grieving stops when you die....and THAT’S the ultimate goal.

1

I frequently feel this way when going through shared trials with friends and family who believe. It reminds me of a quote from Jack Nicholson - "I don’t believe in God now. I can still work up an envy for someone who has a faith. I can see how that could be a deeply soothing experience." To answer your question, yes, I do sometimes wish I could believe for that time.

Thank you. It’s good to know that there are others out there that sometimes don’t want to be realists. I never knew that Jack Nicholson is a non-believer. He’s always been a favorite actor of mine since, as a kid, seeing his performances in The Shining and One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest.

1

Yes. That is one of the two things I have stated being jealous of christians of when my granny passed away: their sense of community/closeness AND their methods of being able to deal with grief easier/easily. :/

1

Sorry for the loss of your family members. No I don’t envy the religious but I don’t argue with them during their time of grief as I know there religion is a great confort to them during those times.

1

Sounds trite, I know. But as long as they are remembered, they live on. My mom and dad are both gone, but I think about how they influenced me and what I loved about them and I fell less an orphan. Especially my dad. He died 33 years ago, but I still imagine him having an opinion about things I do or think. I guess he is sort of like my conscience. Still don't believe in heaven and hell. Still don't believe in judgement day.

1

Sorry for your losses, I have wanted sometimes to be less intelligent and discerning than I am because I get bored with people who don't think very much and just talk about make up & food etc. So I don't have many friends except a few that I treasure - I don't think I have ever wished I could believe mainly because as a child -I lied all the time because I had such mad parents I didn't know the difference between truth and fiction. when I realised that; I decided never to lie again and I haven't' so blindly believing would be an extremely difficult lie as I have never had a god.

1

No, I always prefer the truth to fairy tales. Sorry for your loss. I think of how lucky I was to have those people in my life, not just that they are gone. The memories remain with me for all my life and that is how they live on, in our memories of joy and love.

I will also add that we are the stuff of stars as one well-known scientist used to quip. He was right. Life does continue and we make the universe just as we come from it.

1

Never! Back in my younger days it used to freak me out after someone died the thought they were watching over me cuz I used to party a lot! ? I think they are all crazy to believe that shit. I am sorry for your losses, that is so hard. I lost my dad and nephew within a month of each other 7 years ago.

1

Blindly believing is faith.... you may not have to believe in a deity or their god, but you can cherish your memories and the time you had with the ones you've loved. Celebrate their life and live yours to honor theirs and use this as a reminder that your life and time on this plane is finite. I am sorry for your loss but I am sure they made your life that much richer by being part of it.

1

Sorry for your losses. Personally I think that the pain we feel when we grieve is the best tribute to those that are gone. Only those that don't leave a heritage of love are sad in their death, a poet once said. They came from the universe, they're back, and everything that made them will be used to build new lives. This is what gives me pride and comfort.

Ubik Level 4 Sep 7, 2018
1

“Swear there ain’t no Heaven and pray there ain’t no Hell”

1

No. Just, no.
I love fantasy as an escape in reading material and games, but not as a fundamental believe in every day life.

Mstar Level 3 Sep 6, 2018
1

No, not really. My opinion is that the religious need religion to lean on because they can't handle the situation on their own, whatever that situation may be. They fear what is on the other side of death because they do not know and religion gives an acceptable answer to the unknown.

1

No, I do not wish to believe that I will see my loved ones again and that there is a heaven that we go to. Maybe, that distracts people from their grief for a moment in time and some people appear to sincerely believe there is a place, called heaven, but this does not change the grieving process. Every person grieves in one way or the other, it is part of being human. It hurts and so grieving is hard on us! But, it does get better and we learn that the people we loved in life, has become part of us and we can live on with our life. I am sorry that you lost your dear people, the love that you all shared will help you get thru your grief. I hope your broken heart mends, soon.

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